It all starts like a brick,
heavy,
shifting in your head.
You wish it'd just be lightning quick,
but it often tends to stay instead.

It makes you question everything,
No, you're not dead.
It's all in your head.
Just go back to bed.
By the way, you can't fix your problem with a med.

It's a cry
It's a scream
It's a begging self-philosophy.
I hold it up with a lie.
If it were a dream,
it wouldn't feel so real to me.

A storm in your mind,
all the creatures combine,
building up pressure,
they'll say that you're fine.
But that's not true,
they will lie to you,
then say there is nothing they can do.
They will fake,
your mind will bake.
It's not a feeling you can shake.
A lot is at stake.
I know.
I know where you go.
Digging yourself a dark, lonely hole.
Scratching out death, is your goal.
My migraine, is like a permanent stain.
Killing me; driving you insane.
I count the days like a prisoner in a cage.
I know how it feels, I still stand upon that stage.
Trying to withstand the rage,
and flip page by page,
but you can't even engage.
Since I was a kid,
it was no secret what the pain did,
yet I never hid.
I would just explode,
implode,
and be the **** you'd discover on the road,
maybe one day they will find a code.

And we all walk a lane,
for those who suffered this pain,
the agony of the grain.
That mysteriously grows in our brain.

Father's hands were always warm,
dry,
callous.
Father's love was always kind,
strict,
confusing.
Father's name was never father.
Yet he spelled it for the crowd.
Father had no daughters,
but I played his Mother proud.
Food was steaming from its ***,
served to him each day.
And surely times we often fought,
but we always found a better way.
When we met his world was grey,
and now he asks me why I stay.
I always ask if he's okay,
but never does Father want to play.
Father always hides away.
In the house he sits on the couch,
with a good book in his hand.
I say, "Won't you smile at Mother?"
He says, "I don't think I can."
His 32 wisdom teeth,
cause me to misunderstand.
I sail to be his atmosphere,
never hitting land.

But Father is a genuine diamond,
a shine among the dust.
He may be a rough,
but with dedication he'll earn trust.
I'll never be the wife of Father.
I'll never know his love,
but he can be with others
...its hard...
but helping him is enough.

Shrug it off so you don't cry.
Inside, you hope soon you might die.
The window calls and you come near,
but though death seems probable, it's "the hell" you fear.
So you give a cold shoulder to tears and pain.
You numb your feelings and your shirt's blood stain.
You pretend to not notice and say,"whatever."
But inside you're hoping death is closer.
You try to stay calm and make life simple,
yet every one thinks you must be gimple.
You stay out of trouble just to make through the day,
so to maintain your image you can never be allowed to play.
Sometimes you laugh the pain away,
but no one can see your smile decay.

All I want is for someone to find me. Someone to put themselves in my shoes from the love of my travel. To listen to the rambles I have from the love of my passion and voice. I want someone to notice me, and swim the rapid rivers of my thoughts, the shaky quivers of my breathing heart, walk seamlessly through the vines of my insanity, finding the truest me deep down within. The one that is good and bright and worthy. And put a mirror to her, so she sees... and I see. Letting me know someone else sees something amazing in me and helps me to see it myself. So I can feel normal, and real, and loved all at once. It doesn't have to be permanent, feeling this way everywhere I go. Simply with them. I want to feel calm, and happy, and real, and normal... and loved.
That's all I want.

Everyone lets me down and no one dares to catch me.
I fall to the ground with answers, but no one cares to ask me.
If I told them what I knew, they'd quickly lose their interest.
If I were too, baby blue, they'd further our distance.
And so I fear, for what I cannot change.
And so I stare at the dirt as if it were strange.
I do not cry, nor tear.
For I can not miss what was never here.
I do not sit alone.
For my shadow is a best friend of my own.

Don't let go!
I'll get you out of this snow!
Hold on tight,
the little girl screamed,
to the frozen beam.
It's clasped slipped,
and it's color gone.
A solitary sad song.
I hate you!
You left me to fend for myself!
Give me life,
and you die for the happiness wealth?
I would join,
but it's not fair.
It never really was,
you always left me,
now your once again gone.
Stop fooling me!
Stop killing me!
Well now your truly dead!
I tried to save you,
you know that right?
I did my best,
just like you always said.
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
I'm just losing mind.
You told me that you cared for me,
then left me lost behind.
Friend why is't it so cold to be alone?
It's like my breath is visible,
and I'm breathing under water.
Friend why is't it so cruel to never be needed?
As if I were a speck of dust,
and there's no one I can trust.
I tried to trust, just like you said.
But those humans weren't my brothers.
And now you too,
are leaving me blue.
Why can't I smile,
for all that I have.
Give me a reason,
tell me once again.
Why don't I smile,
with true happiness.
I feel half-alive,
and I feel half-dead.
You're leaving like they always do,
please, please take me too with you.
I'm endorsed in fright.
J-just hold on tight!
the young girl tried to lift the man,
she lifted as best she can.
She dragged him,
but then dropped into the snow.
Please don't leave!
she cried
I won't ever let you go!
*There she lay for days to come,
laying wide awake,
then a bird swoop by the girl,
and dipped into a lake.
The girl looked down at her friend,
who shade was paler that the snow,
she dragged him to the lake.
Cast him off and let him go.
Her eyes were red,
with tears she'd dread,
but she still had a hope.
The bird sat down beside her,
and together they would cope.

'Sometimes things just don't make sense and ignoring things won't make you dense, but some people can't say no, so if someday our minds do blow, from curiosity and such, we will no longer keep in our clutch, reality and questions thought, and hopefully we needn't sought the answers, non-factual, we've been taught.'

Answers are for dancers:
Never step left,
always step right.
Right on the course,
where loyalist fight.
Right in the angelic pose that they do.
In fact,
it'd be better if you weren't you.
Just act like they act and you can get by,
do as they do and never ask why.
Answers I give you my dancers,
my prancers,
answers I give you to move the right way.
Answers I give you my dancers,
my prancers,
because with my answers you never will stray.
But if you do,
I assure you,
you've clipped the strings,
and do know that it means
you will shunned,
an existence unseen,
by the people who dance,
the people who sing,
by all the people pulled by my string.

I want to be new,
the refreshing deep breath,
that welcomes you through the doors,
to a world unknown.
I want to be to the start of the evolution,
I want to be the speck in space,
that brings a new race.

I want to be the reason,
and I want to be the cause.
I want to be free,
and find all that's been lost.

I dream to be the dream.
I cling to bringing the "ahh."
I dance and jump to reveal
               the unexpected thrill.

He could be the wind,
stroking slightly across my face.
He could be the sand,
calling me to follow.
He could be the sky,
too far to reach.
The only assurance,
I can't be his.
If he were wind,
He would soon fly away.
    If he were sand,
      He'd soon be mud.
        If he were the sky,
           yes if he were so high,
               my touch to his tender skin,
                   would never be.
The only assurance,
                                       I can't be his

You assume the quiet child has a secret to keep.
She has done something cruel.
They aren't ever as innocent as they seem.
You assume she has a ticking bomb inside.
She must have never cried.
Never loved,
or fallen.
Never scarred,
or been ****** upon by the assumptions, that you assume, that you figure, no one else has assumed.-  ...You assuming devil...


                                              So oblivious
                                             so it's obvious
you do not know.
All you can do is assume
her pain is staged.
Assume her horrors' fraud.
Assume that nerd thinks like a nerd.
Assume she only has flaws.
Assume she's earned what she has got.
Assume she is the cover of the book,
assuming the book should soak in a river.
Assume she just gives, cause' she's a giver.
                      Giving away,
                         and fading out.
                              Full of pity,
                                    and self-doubt.

                                                   So oblivious
                                                  so it's obvious.
you do not know.
All you can do is assume.

Sometimes I turn to look at myself with a hole in my mind and forget..
I've always felt this way.

I broke like a ship to rocks,
but I always thought I was the perfect Goldie Locks.
Alas the red did stain my hands.
Alas I had to say goodbye to all my friends.
Alas all torture me,
still,
though now through veins.
But it doesn't matter now,
no one remains :)

I remember as a child-
peeking over the window,
to a ticking sound,
from a pitch black cloak,
hiding a creature on the ground.
A shadow of a haunting sparrow,
with a knife atop a pole.
I simply stared and giggled,
as I felt the lifeless soul.
Unsure of what to think,
I believe I heard a voice.
Said it, "I weaved a basket."
Then left he, a silent noise.
Baffled!
The atmosphere was like scent so taint.
"The basket soon has become a case."
The words were wispy and growing faint,
like the words were sent away.
I was hesitant to follow it,
and I don't recall why I didn't.
I found myself the sturdy floor,
and my friend,
'the cloaked one' was now no more.

I just want someone to care.
To notice, when I'm not there.
To stay by my side.
To let me cry.
I don't want to be judged.
I just want to be loved.
I don't care how far,
I don't care if you've receded,
I just want to know
that I am needed.
It's not creepy.
Certainly not.
It's just odd,
to read what's been thought.
I love the imaginary,
who exists.
I love the birds,
and bees.
I love the sky,
and seas.
I'm waiting.
I'm watching.
Watching the world.
Thinking about it,
I've come to notice.
You help me even now.
Because I don't know who you are,
I spend so much time thinking,
wondering,
contemplating elatedly,
to the point I don't even think,
about..
the world anymore.

All I care about it this beautiful,
wondrous,
ponderous,
distraction of mine.
And this image in my mind,
it may not be you,
but I may know some day.
This love is true.
This love is so much.
I don't even know what to do.
This love of mine,
I await.
I will wait.
I'm waiting.
I'm watching.
Watching the world.
The world will pass me by,
and in the end..
I will have you,
and hold your hand.
The collected dust,
will tell a story.

His question for me was "do you see the beauty in life?"
And I said "no."
He asked again if I saw beauty in the world.
I asked "was beauty simply a masquerade dance?
Was everything always just a word and a description?"
I didn't see beauty since it wasn't possible.
I saw a monotonous echo of bright wonders rolled over my head and the seed, out of center view, was a blushing blaze of white that I love but bask away from to keep from singing my sight.
But why would we hide from true beauty?

Labels seem like living, hasty and untrue.
When temptation won't sit in its stable.
The judgement will come through.
It's funny how labels are human, but they call temptation a lie.
Irony like iron stabbing through you, but you get the choice to live or die.
Life is long and unknown, but one day all will be struck.
More than once more likely, but some people just have good luck.
It's not their choice, if you stand, and pull the knife out with your own two hands.
But will you be one of them, go, or stay.
You're the one who gets to say.
So yeah, fight and conquer, but you don't have to divide.
You could label everything, run away; hide.
Or you could stand tall, and stare down like a tree,
Air up the world, being bright and free.
You could take it like they cut one layer, but you have 6 billion more.
Or..
you could hit the cold floor.
And call yourself a bore.
You don't need to agree.
You'll meet many labels in a lifetime.
Stop standing in the past and you could awake to  the present.
A life where the choice is yours.
No, it's not a lie!
The sword sits inside it's stone.
If you plan to pull,
will it make you small or grown?

Once I read a book
about a little lady whom
was overwhelmed by powers,
and was falling into doom.
She scared away her loved ones,
and was driven to a corner.
She thought to change herself,
to bring family and friends back for her.
However she was halted,
by the fearful and the fray.
They came back trying to be brave,
saying "No, please wait, it's okay",
never should a monkey beg
to ever be a moose,
I've never seen a rabbit stare
pleading to be a goose.
Her eyes were wide with tears that flood,
she didn't have a clue.
She could become safe to them,
but they plead she love present her,
over and ideal image of anything new.

You have big eyes,
and a pride to change the world,
but how far will you go when you know it all?
How can it be trusted you won't subsequently fall-
because you swear on your future that you truly know it all?

Alone,
so timid.
Watching the world,
the lost faces;
the stone sky.
Black and white.
These people claim "crushed soul",
the town claims "no life left unlost...",
beyond this grey sky.
Rainbow?
Wake up.
This world is too full.
This world of "just too plain."

Eyes of glass, in the ocean, deep and blue.
Like fabric of white-
worn to grey.
No where in this world are there people to shiver,
yet the people, we live without day.
No morn' to see.
No rooster to crow.
No light to show our way,
yet we as humans',
lives continue,
while our mother's love makes us okay.
There be..
there be..
moonlight..
dear be..
lukewarm water,
so in which it sway.
If I may run,
I may yonder,
for I'm a mere symbol,
a minnow.
To which will force up ponder,
if rather or not,
the fishy is gay.

Who floats just above the skyline,
knows the wonders of the world.

I'm playing keep-away with my skin. My blood a precious treat. I taste iron if I try, but I guess he thinks its sweet. I'm cowered in my covers, so cant you leave me be? I insisted you should exit, but you silently disagree. You know I want to believe your good. That you hurt me but its not your fault. You bit into my skin tonight and I keep crying, "Halt! Don't stab holes through beauty marks, nor swipe away my cells. Alas you are a tiny thing and must not understand my yells.

The first kid was a rat. Oh he was so crude and mean. He said:
"Make her eat that!" and pointed to dirt-drenched, ice cream.
The second kid was a sucker for shows. He laughed and such a stupid pose.
But girls have power too ya know.
Girls tend to be smart, and...oh no...
She scooped the food, tears down her eyes, bidding her last goodbyes. Up it went, leaving no traces....

Up to the sky! "Wham!" Into their faces. She laughed and ran on full speed. Jumped a bush and climbed a tree.

"She's like a squirrel!" The first boy yelled.
"Well get up there and push her down!"

The second boy was looking high.
The girl giggled and mocked "So boys do cry."
The second boy ran off, and chickened out.
The first boy said," I can get you no doubt!"
He hopped and hopped and grasped the first branch, then he swung and swung, but couldn't touch the next.
While he struggled so hard the girl, quietly climbed down.
He'd never figure, she was on the other side, on the ground.
She slowly tipped away and went on, back home.
The boys best learn their lessons, and leave this girl **alone

When my butterflies fly,
I wonder why,
my heart starts to sing,
like birds in mid-spring.

Candy can be sweet,
lemons can be bitter.
Life gives us lemons,
but candy would be better.
Still..what do we make?
How smart we can be.
We know we can do it,
still we want candy.
A treat so sweet,
so simple and neat!
Tell me friend, not of how it taste,
but if you had candy,
what sharing joy would you make?
Something so good,
so sweet,
others could take?

I exit the stage,
but the actor still lays.
I know the faking hurts,
but I learn it often pays.

I scream inside,
but it echos from the corners that I hid.
I get tired of all I tried,
but getting told, "You lied."

Cherry tree, cherry tree,
please won't you,
fall down on me?

I close my eyes for a brief,
but non-stop horror gives me grief.
I beg for some relief,
but I am buried deep beneath the reef.

I see the sky with hopeful eyes,
but inside the sun the devil maybe lies.
I know my clinging causes sighs,
but I fall apart after goodbyes.

Cherry tree, cherry tree,
please won't you,
fall down on me?

I found a star.
In gravel and dirt under mounds of land that I never knew could be dug, I scratched away.
I bled from my cuticles and nearly gave up, but suddenly I found a star.
I was just looking for a sign. A flower or something kind.
But it glowed like embers in a river of black. I found a star and I tried to give it back.
I said "You don't belong here. This doesn't feel right. I don't deserve this." And yet, he stayed. I told him he could leave, but I couldn't believe my eyes or my ears or  the touch of his rays and the smile in his gaze. Oh, how wonderful he is. I found a star. Now that he likes me- now that I know- I never want to let him go.
He shows me magic, he says things I've never heard. He teaches me. I try my best to learn. And I'm not perfect. Oh, I am extremely anything but. And he loves and glows upon my soul anyways. My cuticles could blister a trillion times more. My eyes could rain showers all day, but I would let them bleed me dry and give anything away- to keep this star. Oh, sweet star. My star, so kind. I would do anything to be by your side. To glow in your light and watch you in flight. Oh sweet star. Forever. A world I never knew. I would do anything to be there with you.

The iron drips from my fingers.
The man gives out a yell.
The child launches, she launches at me.
Sadly her launch had failed.
I chuckled at her, with no pity.
Her frightened face, what a laugh.
The person she’s crying for isn't worth dying for.
After all,
he was a bad man.
It’s funny, so funny, funny the fact.
The fact, she thought if she grabbed my neck then,
maybe, just maybe, maybe I’d die.
I laughed again and finally, I gave out a sigh.
“Poor child,” I said my voice left unchanged.
“You misunderstood. I shouldn't be ashamed.
Your idol has done so many bad things,
now he’ll pay for his sins of adultery,
in a place which this blind man cannot see.
She fell to the ground befalling her tears.
This was the end of her happy years.
What? Did she think it was a fairy tale life?
Reality is sharp, just like a knife.
I laughed at the fact I took his life,
with just one swing of my most dull scythe.

She could die any day.
Just tip-toe away.
                                                                But what would they say?
They still say she's okay.
                                                                      ...They don't say "please stay."
They cry when good men die.
They cry when they are scared.
They cry all the time.
They cry here.
They cry there.
So why?
                                                                                             Why?
Why for her,                                                               they don't cry?

Here she will fly                                                     between fire and sky,
                                                                                         in an ocean
her only air being devotion.
Life&Death; her only notion.
                                                                        Is it bad to wish for a potion?
A spell to make this spell go?
She may try so-,
                                                                                  but I just don't know.
Why?
                                                                                              Why?
                                                                                  Why can't they see?

The lost,
the falling,
she's calling
she gives them a sign,
she loses grasp of her life's line.
Why?
                                                                                              Why?
                                                                                  Why don't they cry?

Cry for her.
Care for her!
See her here!
                                                                                         Please..
                                                                                                   one tear.
Suppress her deepest fear.
Her pain is not mere.
She WILL fall,
if there is no bridge,
between the buildings in her mind.
She WILL tumble,
down,
if no one holds her hand,
and she get's left behind.
Save her.
Savor her.
For like this she will not last.
Deprived of what she needs,
internally she bleeds.
                                                                                             Cry
for just one day.
Prove to her,
she will be okay.
Teach her,
how to no be alone.
Love her,
don't leave her on her own.
                                                                                             Cry
Don't lie to her.
Don't act so refined.
She knows those lies,
she isn't blind.
And for once,
just for once,
when her thoughts have intertwined,
I beg of you,
I plead of you,
no one leave her behind.

Don't give your words to the blind deaf spirits.
With eyes they simply don't use.
They couldn't care for your naggy rantings.
They ignore you; call you Katy Kaboom.
Hardly worth the look,
they are crust beneath trashcans.
Walking off while you breathe.
I find it hard to look at people, who refuse to listen to me.
Don't treat it kind to by waved away,
cast as the alien kind.
Don't waste a spit on carcass ungraced with noblesse oblige of a man.
'Man-kind' should be a revelation,
but dumb is the man with abused to his senses.
Only fairy tales may glue dumb and kind as one.
I've seen that only wise men may not be criticized.
For only kind men, wise men, will treat a woman wise.

I'm squeaky clean
I'm tryin'
I'm losing my mind
Feels like im dyin?
I'm looking for
the answer.
I'm moving through
Just like a dancer
I'm squeaky clean
I'm all good now
I'm doing all
I ever could anyhow
And I don't know
I never did
Why they didn't catch
When I was a kid.
Now I'm drifting
Like a dust bunny
Call me funny
Please call funny
I'm just a kite
I'm just a plane
I'm just a spider in a web once again
Catching the drift
Coasting the line
I'm just a dust bunny-
And that's not a crime.
Talking the wall
About why I had to fall
I was just minding my business afterall.
I was a good girl
Didn't see it in the lights-
so i stood in the street trying to catch the heights.
Like a star I am flying,
can I make this wind mine.
I'm just a dust bunny
most of the time.
I'm just a dust bunny
And that's not a crime. (Did you know, did you know? Did you know, did you know-o? Did you know, did you know? Did you know, did you know-o-o? Did you know, did you know? Did you know, did you know-o, oh?)

Often I think I'd scream,
"but no one listens,"
but no one listens.

I'm breathing at the crust of the sea.
so I tell myself to stop breathing.
I'm running to nowhere,
so I tell myself stop running.
I'm trying far to hard for nothing,
so I tell myself stop trying.
I can't even fathom,
why the world is always crying,
when everything that's wrong,
can simply be not done.

You can rip the rainbow right out of the sky,
or make me feel so freaking high,
but you can't control it.
You're Jekyll and Mr.Hyde,
sometimes your calm,
sometimes just an unpredictable tide.
And I love you! bit by bit,
as I friend and dear to me,
but.. I'm tired of being drowned
by your slightly helpful sea.

You can carry me away,
but you're so clung to reality.
Telling me what you've heard,
to push your pain into me.
Shoving it deep,
by calling me names,
and telling me your morals,
that turn into my shames.

I try to take your hand,
when I have fallen down,
you offer it to me,
after I am on the ground,
but then as I get up,
you put me in my place?

I just don't really need this.
Are you hoping I'll lose face?
Hoping to wipe my happiness clean,
and that my smile will leave no trace?

Pity-
self-pity-
hopeless,
devouring,
full pity.
And you filled it up,
so full you had to pass some on to me,
but now I'm going to blow up.

I'm done with you.
And hell yeah, I feel so free!

Cathy said catch me,
as the sky grew dim.
The story of wolf for people like him.
He laughed at her text and he scowled at her tears.
He thought she was a faker but she was nothing near.
Cathy cathy, caught in a web of her mind.
catch me catch me, before I fall behind.

Louise was a artist
her dreams were her art.
But her dreams soon grew darker
and so did her heart.
She thought it would pass by,
but soon she'd retreat.
Never to leave home,
cuddling to her feet.

Cathy cathy, caught in a web of her mind.
catch me catch me, before I fall behind.

Louise Louise, cannot leave home for a tea
Leaving Leaving, she'd like to but she can't be free.

Rose smelled like her name,
caught boys in her thorns,
and her love was a game,
but some loves had horns
They'd treat her like a trash,
crumpled up, thrown away.
At night she'd be bleeding,
but look fine by the day.

Cathy cathy, caught in a web of her mind.
catch me catch me, before I fall behind.

Louise Louise, cannot leave home for a tea
Leaving Leaving, she'd like to but she can't be free.

Rose Rose, charred sholder and ER trips
Bleeding Bleeding, tomorrow a new set of lips.

Talor was the joke of school,
each year a new clown,
but he was always their fool
they'd steal his shoes,
and force him to drink *****.
His parents lost hope,
but acceptance was like a rope.

Cathy cathy, caught in a web of her mind.
catch me catch me, before I fall behind.

Louise Louise, cannot leave home for a tea
Leaving Leaving, she'd like to but she can't be free.

Rose Rose, charred shoulders and ER trips
Bleeding Bleeding, tomorrow a new set of lips.

Talor Talor, what kind of name is that?
Failure Failure, starving since they called him fat.

And there is a story in everyone's past but today you judge the present.

The sun sets at 5.
least happy alive.
Comfort in the moon,  
much like I.
Each routine day,
I let out a sigh.
For I have worries,
if worries are there.
For I have feelings,
I don't believe are fair.
I can numb,
I can bear.
For I am brave,
among this mask I wear.
For I am paved,
into this life I fear.
For even if no one knows,
I AM HERE.
I am fully human,
not a half,
not a bit.
I am finally smiling,
though my thoughts may not quit!
My smile is home now,
and a home where I'll fit.

You are never gonna get
everything you want in this world.
First things first,
get what you deserve.

Screaming in horrid, agonizing pain.              |
I start to wonder if I've gone insane.                 |
Can someone tell me how to wreck this train. |            
I need to stop turning good people to grain.    |            
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Telling myself I've got a problem.
Too much pride to ask the doc.
Calling from my man-made cage,
while steadily, clicking the lock.

I need a release,
the hot air just grows,
if I don't blow up,
I may start to float.

Maybe it's heartburn,
maybe the headache will go,
but inside I tell myself,
"you're faking, you know."

A shudder down my back,
I'm holding in a scream,
but I don't need to turn around,
to know I'm afraid of nothing.

I can tell you more and more,
than you thought I'd ever know,
but when it comes to  happy endings,
I cling to let everything go.

Sorrow filled the air.
She layed beyond our touch.
She grieved for the one
who she could never see again.
The wishing word "forever"
was blown into the wind.
She tried to catch it with all her might.
But it flew away.
As she jumped for it she saw a floor.
Down, she fell.
Down, the stairs of red and white.
Down, she fell.
During the endless night.
A hope that life would bear her blessed.
Hope, not a lie that'd leave her life less.
She rose with a gasp her heart beat so crest.
She rose in a motion,
so fast; so scared.
Life torn away.
Dreams blown away.
The kiss that sealed her hope
would never come and she grew old.
Withered away at 23
Down, she fell
from her loved ones tree.
The apples he loved joined her in pain.
The lost and the loved will all be the same.
Found in years, lost in more, found again.
                                              "Forever" he swore.

If you could sit silently for just a second and weep.
Would that add value to the one you already keep?
We give so much and get so little.
You can't have more, and can't be in the middle?
For you try to be sad, but it shows in your eyes.
And you realize yourself, it's all just an ugly disguise.
There is beauty in breakdown, not sadness nor shame.
But you give a gilst tear, for all that is fame.
Does it **** you inside to see what you've become?
A monster to be love, yet there you've lost all your freedom.
Shall I quote you a sap melody?
Shall I just lie like you and then agree?
No, I shan't for I have some kind of mind.
Your caked make-up was all intertwined.
Now I know, you abused me so.
You told me how your life did go.
However, you slipped some strands out.
Now I spent time thinking, with nothing to worry about.
I am baffled into laughter.
Your life was happily ever after.
Well, I am more profound.
That's why I lift you from this ground.
I tell you "be on your way."
And chuckle, "have a nice day."

I'll be hopeful     for you,
and strive on      for you.
But I'll think      for me.
I will breathe     for you;
have a heart, so true  
                -If it weren't for you, I'd have no reason to-

You pain doesn't hurt for me.
and I won't cry or bleed.
I'll smile happily 
                                              
         ­                                    ...but I will not agree..

Breathe.
Receive.
Achieve.
Believe.
Be strong.
Be honest.
Be good.
Be right.
Don't fight.
You're alright.
You'll make it through the night.
Be the night light.
Be the sight.
Be the freedom.
Be your desire.
Don't pull yourself down,
push yourself higher,
as if a comet on fire.
Move forward,
onward,
upward,
higher.
Fly so high,
as if a comet on fire.
Be better.
Brighter.
Outshine the sun.
When they tell you walk behind them,
trust the time to run.
Be open.
Be off-guard.
Let it all go.
Maybe you'll get hurt,
but you'll definitely grow.
You'll definitely glow.
Like a flower of the sun,
always looks to the sky.
Live life like a miracle,
because one day you die.
(And I might really cry.)
You have to try.
You have to fly,
but not too high.
Fly to space,
and if your scared,
don't worry about it.
Long as I'm here,
there's no room for fear.
(I'm no parent,
I'm no lover,
but if you find one,
I'll see that you love her.
Because why?
I don't know.
I got over you long ago.
I guess I just found a strange addiction.
I care so much it seem like fiction.
I'll bite my tongue,
because it feels I'm digging a hole.
This is about you,
but I talk myself up like I have a big role.
This is how you should live,
but not because I said.
Really it's just tips I took from my heart and not my head.)
Be greater than they'll ever know.
Be beyond their circumstance.
Never let them see you wilt,
unless they've seen that you can dance.
Dance like no ones watching.
Sing like you can't contain.
Be unafraid to challenge society,
even when you stand in the rain.
No matter the darkness,
always burn brighter.
Always shoot higher,
as greatly as you tire.
As if you were-
                                          a comet on fire

My love was lost on a battleship.
The devil up her nose.
She didn't care that she had no hair,
and she always smelled of rose.
I gave my heart in a thousand ways
to the girl with the long half-dress.
The snow white with the palest face,
and so much more pale lips.  
I recall how I first said "I love you" on the rusted monkey bars
but today she said so saddened, "give me to the stars."
She gave a peck
and whisked away.
But I prayed to see her a week from today.
My love was found in a house we once ran,
she wore her hair ground low,
and smile as big as she can.
We both looked out the window at life's passing cars.
I said, "I love you".
She said, "give me to the stars."
Her eyes so slow grew colder, older, more decrepit with each day.
I tried to act happy, but I just wanted to look away.
She wasn't the same as I once knew!
Her expressions never changed,
She was so white lined with blue.
It wasn't what my mind arranged.
I could feel the bleeding of her sewn shut scars.
I said, "I love you so much"
She said, "give me to the stars"
She was an orb of light before she whisked away.
The stars could not compare to her blinding day.
But I prayed her back from her holy grave,
She became a ghost.
She became a slave.
I cried and found my solace at last,
After holes in the wall and broken glass.
I'll told her, "I love you, near or far."
She told me, "I will be your star."

I gave away my branches,
I gave away my leaves,
you chopped me up for housing,
then ran off,
leaving me.

I gave away my dirt,
and gave away my air,
I gave away the water,
you said you'd none to spare.

I gave away my patterns,
I gave away my age,
I gave away all I had,
and you'd just take and take.

And now that I have nothing,
I sit alone, and cry
I think how I am now a stump,
and you didn't even say goodbye.

Sitting in a cold room.
Listening to cold music.
Thinking cold thoughts.
My skin keeps rotting away.
Each time it only reveals....
me.
Nothing new.
Nothing old.
Nothing at all.
Just a facade covering my fears.
Still...
I wonder.
Could I be alone?
Could I be alive?
Could I be walking?
Oh I know where I'm going.
I'm going...
Home.
I see a light.
I see a door.
I see a family.
No tears, no more.
I wish....
they would end.
Tears still fall.
Tears still roll.
Tears still burn.
I'm still...
cold.
It's still dark.
It's still hard.
It's still sad.
But...
I have a choice.
I can live in misery.
I can live in joy.
I can live in my body.
I won't forget....
you.
I might forget they way you laughed.
I might forget they way you cried.
I might forget the way you smiled.
But I will always remember......
to live.
Because you're my angel
Because you're my light
Because you're my reason
So I'll...
be alright.
I trust you
I miss you
I wish you were here
And...
I cry still.
I still remember
I still fear
The way....
we said goodbye.
Can I do that?
Can I cry?
Can I truly let you leave?
I know....
I will.
Goodnight.
Good dreams
Goodbye.