-4.   Know this is the path to a     breakup
-3.   Try to fix things
-2.   Ugly cry in a car because you
         know everything has all gone         so terribly wrong
-1.    Get drunk, get high, smoke    something      
  0.   You break up
1. You don't know how to feel
2. Cry into your pillow at night
3. Convince yourself you did the right thing
4. Dream about him
5. Cry more and listen to sad songs
6. Hate being awake
7. Think about posting indirect messages to him
8. Write letters. Lots of them
9. Google what to do
10. Consider taking him back
11. Google why this happened
12. Forget the bad stuff and only remember the good memories
13. Google if it's your fault
14. Talk about him 24/7
15. Make plans to talk to him after a month
16. Lots of quotes saved to your phone
17. Screenshot things that make you laugh too
18. Miss him
19. Be a better friend
20. Binge watch
21. Occasional setbacks
22. Remember that he was an asshole, and he made you hurt
23. Talk to other guys
24. Compare them to your ex
25. Start to be see that you're happier
26. See a hopeful future
27. Run into them
28. Feel like the world is crushing you
29. Find out they've been seeing someone else
30. New music playlist, "Moving On" featuring songs about karma and awful exes
31. More writing
32. Throw away his shit, delete his photos and number, unfollow him on social media
33. Keep busy
34. Realize this is the end. The for real end
35. It gets easier, and you get stronger
36. If he begged you to come back what would you do?
37. You wouldn't even want him back at this point
38. It's been one month, and you didn't notice like you did when it was 1 week
39. Friends. Friends. Friends.
40. Enjoy being free and doing things for yourself
41. Those songs don't hurt the way they used to
42. Start thinking about other things
43. Feel proud
44. Focus on what's really important to you
45. Keep going
46. Smile
47. ...

8/26/17
Ill

You know the feeling that you get when you miss a step
That feeling when you turned right when you should’ve turned left?
When everyone has left, that’s not the type of feeling that you should get
Doctors say it’s not normal to feel like you’re falling
While lying down in bed
Then say the drugs will make you stop feeling
And it won’t be all that bad
I do exercises that help me with my breathing
And I listen to what is said
But
You know that feeling that you get when you’ve tried something for the fifth time
And it still hasn’t worked
That feeling when everyone is telling you to stop worrying,
And still that feeling lurked
Doctors don’t know what causes that feeling to stay longer that it should
They say it’s a chemical problem
Do they understand that they haven't really made a breakthrough yet
And I’m afraid I know the problem
This can only be understood by those who have felt it
Doctor, this guessing game, is not working for your patients believe them

When they say it’s hard to wake up, it’s not just physical fatigue
When they say it’s hard to cheer up, it’s not just a chemical lack of harmony
When they say it’s hard to go on, it’s not just the brains longing for the happy pill

The soul is ill

I'm so tired you guys. I can't go on living and no one gets it. Even my medication doesn't know what to do... it's driving me crazy. I'm venting. Gosh I'm useless.

Let's get relax...

relax dear sweetheart ...
let's breathe now ...
let's try to realize ...
where we stand on now ...
relax sweet angle ...
we still alive ...
let's enjoy what we live now ...
while we relaxing ...
and breathing the peace ...

yes sweetheart ...
we still alive ...
we are ...
let's enjoy the moment ...
only our moments ...

come let's do ...
let's breathe now ...
one the other's ...
let's feel it's warms ...
i miss you so ...
need your breathes now ...
i miss you sweetheart ...
miss your letters ...
and all your sweet words ...
your words which beats ...
from your warm heart ...

miss your love babe ...
it's my reason to live ...
to feel this life ...
it's the reason to my smile ...
to feel a happiness ...
because of you , my sweetheart ...
yes i do ...
yes i love you ...

come sweetheart ...
let's get our relax ...
it's enough sweetheart ...
let's breathe together now ...
i just want you  ...

hazem al ...

Kee Sep 4

Falling off a bike is like breaking your heart for the first time

You don't know this strange pain that's hitting you in your knees or your chest
And it hurts but you don't know this feeling creeping inside your body and making you numb with pain
There's tears because you can't understand why something so simple could hurt so bad
It's a shame because you have to go through it over and over again
You'd ride the bike again but you'd give up on love
One hurts just a little bit too much
Knee pads won't save you from the eternity of pain because you decided to fall in love

Dainty Bones Aug 22

Old words are meant to be thrown away
they're like snake venom throughout your body
all the old, faded words you wished

were never written

I'm glad someone stole my old journal full of poems
because I am a new person now

a new pen writing on a brand new page
the page clings to me, and I to it,
and together we make beautiful new work

talking about the one who makes your heart sing
and the past that has hurt you, but you finally overcame it

that's the thing about old words

they're meant to be thrown away

-m.a.

Just some thoughts
Dainty Bones Aug 14

I have knots in my stomach
I feel my fingers slipping slowly
unable to grasp anything or anyone
the crisp, fall air reminds me of the hurt
I am just trying to break free
I feel constricted by my past
these scars will not fade
I feel my past has caused
an unnecessary amount of pain
I should not have to feel
like a shivering, lonely dog
waiting to be loved,
but wondering when that love will leave
I shouldn't have to hate my body
because it was never enough for the wrong person
I shouldn't have to question whether
he loves me
so often in a day
because you never did love me
I shouldn't have to feel like shattered glass
every time I get insecure
because you always wanted something more
even he hates the way you've ruined me
-m.a.

...
ψ Toria ψ Aug 10

Get up girl, you got shit to do. Those tears will dry and you'll be alright. It'll take some time, but you know that, so let yourself feel, but don't dwell, don't let your head go under. One day, this'll be a scar on a girl you once knew.

7/22/17 ~ Maybe I'm not the only one to need this
july hearne Jul 28

He filled out his own Wikipedia page

Shows what he thinks looks best
And hides the rest
Name drops on facebook
Andy Warhol, David Bowie,
Trent Reznor, Layne Staley
All his good friends, or his good enough friends
They understood, gave him good advice, understood
Listened intently, lit his way, then understood some more

Those are just the ones I remember
There were about fifty other names,
People I have heard of, people I haven't heard of
And a president
Who should have never been

More importantly, there are a lot of people
On facebook who enjoy knowing someone
Who name drops, it's a shared wealth
It makes sense since
Most of these people identify as communist

Power for the few, they like that shit

He lives a lonely life now
He has gotten huge,
Huge and lonely

His formerly busy parts
With nothing to do
Time and effort
Defaced and maimed

Components of introspection
Delve deep Jim,
Enlarge them
There's a strap on for that

Most of his famous friends are dead
No longer around to understand
The more famous they were
The more they understood

Huge and lonely Jim
I remember meeting him

If he believed in Jesus,
He would have met him too


(My one or two or three or four or more things
I have in common with Jim)
Paul Jones Jul 27

From a speck of light,     the pinhole of a
camera obscura...      you get the picture.

12:50 - 26/07/17

State of mind: playful; curious.
Perspective: comical.

Thoughts: from thinking - about the camera obscura.

'You get the picture' has a double meaning.

Questions: none.
Wyatt Jul 26

Get me out of here,
I don't want it to be through.
I feel it choking the life out of me slowly.
One day it's gonna get me alone.
One day the night will never end.
That sun will never find my eyes.
Mocking me, burying my hope in the dirt.
All I needed was the most impossible.
Some things are better left in my head,
but I can't wait another day
as I pretend I'm okay with living a lie.
How can this smile come out
when there's nothing left inside?

How am I still here?
How am I still standing at all?
This is a sick game,
I want you to get me out of here.
The light is getting darker and darker
and soon enough I'll be in pitch black.

I'm sick of feeling this way,
every single day
is another declaration of defeat.
Is this how it is?
Another case of the winners and the losers,
is there no hope for the ones less fortunate?
Picking my battles never got me anywhere,
it only ever continued this inferiority.

Hell has a room waiting,
it's forever waiting for me.
It knows, it knows,
everyone knows that I'll fail.
This is another wasted day.

Pull it tight, don't fight,
let your weight choke it all out.
Lose sight, don't you fight,
let you take yourself out,
out of the picture.

Get me away, get me out.
I know my biggest enemy
has always been myself.
These walks have been
leading me up
to the hole in the ground.
It's only a matter of time.
I cannot escape.

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