Sitting here in this room
Listening to the ignorance hit my ears.
I start drowning out the sounds of your voices and I sit here wishing I could disappear.
Toxicity city is where this goes, in your home and around you to. I sit here getting ready to drown out the argument to be said.
Fight after fight all I hear is the defeat in both of your voices. Driving me to tears because I can't focus. Its the same old pity me song and it's driving me insane, I have no clue how you cope with this pain.
I look around me and all I can feel is the disgust and anger vibrating through both of your voices into my ears, my brain cringing from what I hear. Looks of disgust and tears of disappointment hitting the corner of your eyes I can see. The frustration feels so deep.
Wishing I was a stranger to the words hitting my ears. For days the same argument has taken place. Now a new one begins. More personal and attacking me. I cant believe the **** i hear. You have so much work to do on yourself it is pitiful, I'm angry and sad and miserable. I close my eyes to regain self control. I want nothing more then to grab you by the throat and whisper in your ears, your toxic and annoying and no one cares..
Wishing I could comfort you as the tears hit my tear ducts.
I focus on the sunburn on my spine, the burning tingly sensation running to my shoulders shifting my focus. . Droning out the voices that are screaming in front of me.
The words so full of venom as they are spit out.
I sit here wanting to reach out to you to hold you and let you cry. I want to grab your hand and tell you it's alright.
Wanting nothing more then to be there for you. But I cant because this woman I don't recognize anymore she was supposed to be my best friend and I look at her now , I
truly am disgusted, emotions hallowed from time to time just to distort the bond she has on you. as she sits here screaming her lies her insecurities are nothing but of her own making. Her own personal demons she has to slay them.. she won't listen to what I am saying Needing to start a fight day in and day out she sits here wondering what you are doing wrong. And all I can think to myself is holy cow. When did this relationship turn so toxic. All I want to do is rewind it for your own sake. Knowing I can't and the damage is done. I bite my tongue.
If it weren't for me pushing for your relationship to work, I know months ago it would have died. For i am the one keeping your relationship alive the best I can, but maybe that's the problem. I can't fix it not you nor him. The damage is done between the two of you, all i can do is sit back and wait on the two of you. . Yet now I wonder if it is just better to let it go. My dude friend this is the Toxicity show.
The hurt the sadness the pain the loneliness I feel it in my soul.
The blame game continues on and i sit here looking at the time. Wondering when the **** can i go home.
Your woman was supposed to be my best friend, but she lost that respect the day I tried to make your life full of a few smiles I sit here wondering why your making him try to feel guilty for having a good time ,but then I realize the toxicity coming from your mouth is just a way for you to try and control the situation to be honest ***** ya sound crazy, trying to control the script of the book called life. Your self-esteem is so low that it makes me sad because of the way you are, at first I felt pity but now. I feel hallowed in the soul, this atrocity playing out in front of me. . Your taking your problems out on the people you love the most not realizing how quickly you pushed them away. I've told you this time and again I'm not these other girls who claim to be your best friend
Some woman are too broken and can't be fixed, I hate to close the case,
But not listening to the thoughts in your head is the first place you should look.
I can't help ya sis when your the problem.
I've told ya this time and again.
Always crashing me into your situation, ripping me down the line and then abusing your position. emotionally invested realizing that its time to stop.
That the same pattern is going on,
I warned you about months ago.
Jealous of nothing but your own demons popping up, ready to roll thru the toxic habits you have formed for I cant do this anymore as I watch in horror the life you live.
Knowing your castle is crumbling around you. I have to sit back and watch you crash..
The mess you left on everyone you loved.
The arguing slows.
I need to eat so dinnertime here we go.