You say I'm temperamental, but that it's just developmental.
The way my brain claims to be insane,
with a lost else of hope, and a gained sense of pain.
I'm done with that game, I'm done with this shit.
You think I'm an open book, I've had enough of it.
“you're just a teen”, and that “you're as see through as a screen”
and that with gleaming eyes, you've never seen me cry, about the things you'd deny,
because you never even tried.
Just one second blurring by, cutting through time like the cuts on my friends’ wrists.
and yes, that apostrophe goes AFTER the s.
I know my grammar, that's no error.
The blood trickles down and pools in the wells of “get well” cards
next to the hospital bed where she lies.
Drowning her mind, making sheets into tides, and after all this time,
I've left with nothing but this rhyme.
The makeshift raft, crafted by my weary hands
and the salty burn of the liquid now staining my cheeks.
15 years is plenty, thanks.
and, you. have the audacity to tell me I don’t know shit about this earth.
Well, pardon me, but, I've seen your tomorrow in the eyes of today,
because rising scientists, actors and actresses,
but not enough to stress the BI-ness of those who you thought you knew.
Tell me about the bible, and how,
the binary that sweeps through your Facebook feed,
is touched more than the book you were raised on.
Your hypocrisy is dwindling away,
until the truth will be left.
so, sorry that I'm angry, and
no. I'm not depressed.
Just leave me alone with my loneliness.
Allow me to clean up your mess.
the amount of awkward it is when you have a direct view of the one you betrayed at the one you lied to. don't ask me which one's which. They're the same. I can see you watching me and when my eyes dart in your direction you turn your head away. I know you're looking at her too. We will embark on a forced journey where conversation turns inevitable. I know you're anxious and your lies have separated from your brain and infested your consciousness. I know you never intended for it to happen, but love is weird that way
A consideration for the smallest things.
pebbles, sand, birds.
I look down at the smallest things,
and try to express the sudden urge of gratitude
that lays a blanket on me.
fire, sun, warmth.
Yes, they are small.
Yes, most people overlook them.
Yes, most people take them for granted.
water, ice, snow.
The smallest things
Are the things that change us.
See, a few days ago,
I was standing outside in the pouring rain.
A child walks up to me.
"Miss, are you alright?"
"I think I am now."
So the smallest things
Are the things that change us.
I tell you the words you want to hear,
I think things that no one else should have
Today I feel great
Today is another day I just don't want to do this
I'm living my life the way I want
I've made too many mistakes to ever get the
life that I want
She loves me
No one could love me
I'm just too broken
I'm doing better
Than I ever have
I don't see the difference,
I don't see myself
To no one
Blogging on a piece of paper
Let me erase the title, and call this deja Vu, I feel like we've met before,
Alright then we'll fuck anyways because beneath our shallow waters sinks a heavy chest.
But hear me out it's not that I'm doing this for fun and games, and there are to no depths that I cannot hold my breath, my desire is that you feel all the love I have to give,
Even if it's one second,
I may pass out, how long have I been holding my breath, was there a miss communication between my brain and (look at chest)
Look at these clothes! Fashion is to me, look good but express what I want you to see,
I'd rather be naked, only wear clothes when I have to deal with idiots in public...
Or sports, it just seems practical for some,
I know I don't have ADD or ADHD , I took those tests, but I do have a knack for puzzles, and some times I lose track of one piece for another,
So I optimize on body language, throw in opinions, to complete the lie until proven otherwise,
And When the truth hides behind the blank canvas waiting to be painted by our perspectives, it stands as naked as I am now,
And if these words are not revealing enough. find me...
and I'll call it deja vu.
An infinitesimal, subtle feeling grows
as the beats change. Once again, dance
with some grace. Let the sway show just how
transitions attack and fade. By the stars, what
a heavenly place! I say it and shiver, half-scoffing,
Wholly wondering, whether I should wander onto
another plane. The other half always did reside in Hades.
In the half-light I lied, hear my chthonic falsity and decide.
I am not afraid but, there is so much work to do
and I don't think I can do it without you.
as little things
become big things.
others might discard.
place wooden eggs
inside empty play dough cups
all in a row.
mummy which ice cream you like?
I smile before answering,
the flower and vitamin c one please
okay good he says.
i place a beeswax crayon
inside tiny hands
in exchange for
my ice cream.
as he drops
tiny, special things
inside a tiny bag.
a very hungry caterpillar bag.
a wooden tool,
a waterlemon jigsaw piece,
tiny plastic spoon
and empty tic tac boxes.
so many tic tac boxes.
i regret that
i am an impatient woman
and some days forget the beauty
in these little things.
as he takes sweet breaths
with eyes closed,
through cupid bow lips.
i am reminded
these are not the little things,
but the big things.
if there was one thing,
one big thing,
i could bless him with,
it would be that
he may never
lose his eye
for life's little things
Dragonfly lights on the lily
her veined wings translucent
morning sun on the shimmering dewy grass
seeps through seducing my eyes
drawing me in to this delicious glory.