The rain puddles in the cracked city pavement, a drowning vision of striking familiarity. Nostalgia encasing those mulling over their Earl Greys in coffee shops. A wooden stir dissipates the bubbles in the steaming liquid, contrasted by the cool droplets streaking down the ordinary windows. As breathing slows, eyes lock deep in thought upon the bustling, grey castle streets. She slows as she steps to the sidewalk, meeting a gaze before they realize. Her face like snow, her lips like two tiny rose petals just starting to push from their blossom. Her eyes as dark as they are deep, rounded and child-like. Coming to, the strangers been locked on one another for just half a second longer than deemed socially acceptable. She breaks stare, adjusts her bag; and with her hooded head to the ground, makes her way past the old coffee shop.

Speaking in code, chanting in tongues,
a heavy load; it drains my lungs.
Tell me a secret, 'cause I'll never tell,
I'll never leak it and I'll never sell.

Stumbling while still, my feet are not mine,
you've had your fill but I'll have another line.
Tell me a secret, 'cause I'll never tell,
I'll always keep it even when burning in Hell.

My blank pages are your swirling oceans,
I've been moving through stages
and drowning in emotions.
Breaking all the promises
like you're breaking out of chains,
when you've had nothing; there's nothing to miss,
only the void ever remains.

Ripping at my skin, it's not an itch but scratching frustration,
and my day wants to begin but I've lost all motivation.
Tell me a secret, 'cause you know I'll never tell,
even when I'm defeated, even when I have fell.

My silent replies are your swirling oceans,
I've got the hollow eyes, from going through life's motions.
Breaking all the promises
like we've been breaking bread,
and I only saw a glimpse of bliss
from those few words that were said.

Staring at a broken phone,
there's no contacts, I'm so alone.
A broken heart is not a broken bone.

Staring at a broken phone,
there's only silence, I miss that dial tone.
A broken heart is not a broken bone.

If you were supposed to be a robot, you would be one.
But you're not. You're a human, you have ideas and thoughts and feelings.
Every person sees the same color a little different. Some people see a color and say purple or red or brown,
Burgundy or maroon,
Some people say gray.
You're a human, not a machine.
A machine can't hurt, but it can break.
You, a human, can hurt, go mad, but you can't break. Say what's in your mind, what color you see.
Every story is different and unique and worthy,
And so are you.

A woman walks through a store with a couple of kids,
She doesn't know yet  but she only has a week to live,
While a man at the register is getting pissed because he can't
Buy case of energy drinks using food stamps
While right outside the store, an old lady is being mugged
The crook runs right past a couple who just fell in love.
Meanwhile across the street a biker jumped over a ramp
A bus honks at him carrying a camp of kids
Who are all starry-eyed and don't even know what it's like to live

It's funny, the moment I'm sitting in
Stopped the world for the moment
To let all these little things sink in
Its funny, most people aren't watching our fall
If this whole place disappeared,
I fear no one would notice at all.

A kid brought a gun to school the other day,
While one played hookey, all his friends blasted away
Now he has guilt just for lying and surviving
showing that the worst thing isn't always dying.
Most people are more scarred of public speaking than dying
I'd rather stand on a podium inspiring peers
Than have anyone crying wishing I was here
It's funny how it all seems simple when I'm looking in the rear

It's funny, the moment I'm sitting in
Stopped the world for the moment
To let all these little things sink in
Its funny, most people aren't watching our fall
If this whole place disappeared,
I fear no one would notice at all.

Do you ever question who you'd be if you weren't you
And your past was someone else's and never knew what you knew
Would you still have the same beliefs, probably not
Currently they seem undeniable but they sold and you bought
If you lived across the world it might mean nothing at all
But no one is paying attention, no one's watching us fall

I needed
to learn
how to let
things go

so I started
with him

he's the
easiest

because after
he left,
there is
nothing more
for me
to hold on to

I FREAKING LOVE POETRY. i don't care that the boys snicker about me behind my back because i was writing verses on the top of my math binder. i don't care that my friends call me overdramatic for it, don't care that everyone forgets to support my endeavors until it concerns them don't care don't care don't care

2. LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MAKE YOU SELFISH. my love, it's necessary. it's okay to look in the mirror and think you're pretty. it's okay to put on makeup because you like the way it looks, or wear nothing on your face at all. it's okay to wear a dress because you know it's your crush's favorite color, but it's also okay to dress up for yourself. wear what you want, do what you want. fuck shit up.

3. SHOOT YOUR SHOT 2018. go for it. go for him, go for her. take a risk. the worst thing they can say is no! and if they say no, you get the next best thing... closure and the ability to move on! release your fears like a truckload of bricks and let yourself learn to love.

4. YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST. YOU, YES YOU. life is freaking hard. it will kick your ass. but the question you need to ask yourself is will you get back up? there are dark days. i won't deny it, there are days when the rain won't stop pouring and you'll be drowning in it. but then, one day, the rain will cease and the sun will shine again. it may seem like a stretch, but one day.... i promise.

5. EVERYONE, LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. if i want to be a writer, let me. an engineer? that, too. take the classes i want? yep. hang out with the people i want to be surrounded with? definitely. don't judge my choices and compare them to your own, there's a reason i made that decision and not you. mind your own business, if it concerns you, i will consult you.

I´m writing late
Is what I´m telleing my brain
Well we do have things in mind
It replys

the shadows dance on the spot you left
indented in the mattress
a reminder of its emptiness.
we destroyed ourselves in the nick of time
to sell our souls to the new age
and uncover all the sins we wished to find.
the wind shakes the trees and my bones
our bodies no longer a place we call home
through trouble and turmoil
you'd think we'd have grown
but instead, we're trapped
in crowded bars, streets and houses
alone.