My parents love me verily, true,
Yet I still feel the need for love, truer.

In the deepest hour of night,
Dawns a realization that they are mortal,
Everyday I feel so scared,
Alone if I am to stay,
Loneliness will kill me.

Loved by parents I am, but
Often I am so alone,
Very sad is this heart,
Engraved deep inside it,
Rosy name of my ideal lover.

My parents are of an average of 58.5 years now.

I hope that they live a long and healthy life until I die.

It is my requirement because apart from them I have no one else to call my own.

My HP Poem #1551
©Atul Kaushal

solitude marks the height of my contentment
no agreements to make
I don't have to see faces
nods smiles masked aggression
I don't have to act
I don't have to trade facade for facade
with my peers
do I even have peers?

at night, I feel a stillness
so deep, so harsh, so honest
I don't have to live this lie
explain why I'm fine
why everything is fine
because, it's not
nothing's fine

I am a million clashing universes
filled with endless dying stars
and I reach out
to the other universes
and shrink back
          and at night
I fill the stillness
  the stars collapsing
every synapse bending
toward destruction

no want
               no need
                             no crying out for more

at night there is no other
no one to say my name falsely
and when I sleep
the ocean of my subconscious
carries me to sleeping cures
takes me away for years
to great expanses of colorful
living worlds
where I feel
where my emotions are tangible
       they keep me company for
a millennia
         I wake to this doll world
where a friend asks
how are you doing
and she's doing it out of obligation
                                                and there's no color
and I have no emotion
and I feel nothing

Life is the waiting room for the exploration of that dream world

and every night
I taste it
I touch it
I breathe in its vibrance
and the only want
is to never wake
to this grey world
to never have to answer



What am I trying to say is this:
My world is in color and you,
You are the cherry red,
You are neon.
You are everything my heart
Did not know it could be.

And tonight,
I am indigo streaks
Across the world;
A suffocating introversion
A depression which once
Took hold of me.

Somewhere between
the hushed voices,
the many body parts
and the pitch black,
his lips found mine
and I thought
that I wouldn't mind
feeling that
for the rest of my life

My best memories are not with her,
And I will forever remember them,
The reason I built my imagination,
Till my childhood was there to stay,
Enjoying the imaginary car crashes,
Less than an ambition it was never.

How clearly I remember myself,
Often playing with glistening toys,
They were mostly cars and tracks,
When my mind drove 'em like an elf,
Healing my loneliness with their jumps,
Eyes glittering with the picturization,
Ears hearing the imaginary blasts,
Love was simple & objective then,
Seemed the best life to a kid me.

My Mattel Hotwheels toy car collection used to be the biggest in the city.
I wonder if I still have it in the store room.

My HP Poem #1550
©Atul Kaushal
splvrry 5d

Between the lines,
I am more than just a human.
Look within the cracks,
and you will see a beating heart;
with blood pumping through my veins.

Between the lines,
I am more than just a girl.
Look within my eyes,
and you will find a map;
leading you to a mind filled with racing thoughts.

Between the lines,
I am more than just me.
Look through my soul.
Can you?

Read my eyes ...

sweetheart mine ...
eyes are full with it's bright ...
as all stars that you watch ...
with every night into your sky ...
it talks more and so deep ...
about the love that i keep ...
even ask that sky ...
ask all your nights ...
which you kept in ...
awaken all night ...
while you been thinking ...
thinking so hard ...
only of me ...

it will answer you ...
because you seeing me ...
seeing always my eyes ...
and it's love inside ...
the love that i keep ...
keep only for you ...

please look with a deep sight ...
to see how it hold ...
love inside ...
to see how it talks ...
talk with no words ...
talking about you ...
and how it care for you ...
care only to give ...
to give love for you ...

please sweetheart ..
see from my eyes ...
see and feel ...
how much i love you ...
read my eyes ...
please sweetheart ...
please do ...
to see how honest it ...
how much my love is true ...
please sweetheart ...
read my eyes ...

hazem al ...

Sadia 6d

You are far away, but always there, shining brightly in my world. Your soft light caresses my skin and comforts me: I am never really alone. As I close my eyes to sleep, you come to kiss my lips goodnight. You are my moon, shining bright in my dark skies.

An old hag, I tell ya,
She read my palm,
And revealed it.

That only momentary pleasures,
Were written in my destiny,
Of varying measures.

I agree to some extent,
Only torment is permanent,
As pleasures are just temporary.

Lost within myself they often get,
Like a delightful chocolate bar,
Akin to one from a beer bar.

Dissatisfied with every happiness,
Half filled with unspilled tears,
The other half of lost years.

My HP Poem #1545
©Atul Kaushal
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