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When I was a young man
I had but one wish that of to find tme the girl of my dreams no afairs or one night stands but a real relationship
Through child abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother this left alone In the world lack of confidence unable to form any kind of
relationships
Then along came my Angel Helen the only girl ever to give me a chance
the only girl ever to love me where others not even a clance
We fell In love married she gifted me a son but Helen was very ill when I first met her for Helen had been cheated on by her first husband
she had loved himbut he did'nt love
her
She was left with mental health Issues but when she was carrying our son Helen almost became well again but then her health started a downward
turn
Ten years Into our marriage Helen devloped chronic back pain breathing problems unable to walk I became her full time carer 24/7 I was happy to do that for her because I loved
her
Slowly over the years her Independence was eaten away till she was totaly dependent on my help which I was more than  happy to give for I loved her she had given me a life I had never
known
Then she came to the point
In her life when there was no cure for the dreadful pain she suffered  Helen had no quality of life finaly after twenty years I lost her to
Heaven
Ro lose the love of your life tou cannot put Into words to
describe how that feels to lose hhe one you love
Sowing my letters ...

Sweetheart ...

Wonderful morning ...
My morning ...
Starts with you ...
It's the morning ...
I desire with you ...
Only with you ...
To give you ...
My love all ...
While we both ...
Flying so high ...
Soul within soul ...
Where no one ...
Could be ...
Just you only ...
And me ...
Here where i'm ...
Into my place ...
Where we both ...
Used always ...
To draw ...
Our poetic love...
At our bodies ...
As it a page ...
To our love's book ...
Until we both ...
Get the lust ...
Till the last ...
Crazy moment ...
With no matter ...
how long it pass ...
While i sowing ...
My letters ...

Come sweetheart ...
Let me baby ...
sow my letters ...
This morning ...
On your body ...

Let me ...
Gather all  letters ...
Those swimming ...
on your naked body ...
Until i break through ...
All my energies ...
While i'm gathering letters ...
From your body ...
Until I blow my volcano ...
So deep inside you
Into our bed ...
To sow together ...
Our letters ...
Our love's seeds ...
And to gather it all ...
As a poetic poem ...
To lust within ...
All our day ...

Come here baby ...
let's sow those seeds ..


hazem al ...
YusufKudsi Oct 11
There is a riot inside my body
My heart against my brain
Fighting over you.
Don’t promise me something you won’t keep
My body can’t take another civil war.
Surrounded by broken promises when all you had to do was to stay
Purple, blue, orange and red these colors of feelings that I won’t be feeling anymore
Because my heart is in flames and my mind is in control.
There is a riot inside my body
A war that no one can win.
Erian Oct 10
Every blush you send my way
It makes me hope we can be together
Anyday
my highway of regrets (only love poetry)

a transcontinental roadway connecting across oceans,
only in time measured, decades in length, he, distances,
adds daily, mile markers flying in, landing in factual order,
a differentiation, chapter headings, incidents and accidents
regretting the good, the bad, and the very ****

collection of mixte memories, carefree happy, some
funereal deaths, due, & yet outstanding, stone & steel,
miles & kilometers, trips of consequences, many are the
languages, seasons, and faces associated with
regretful tunes of longer agoes, highway markers of regrets

faces mostly all gone, some from this earth dead wet wiped,
some, in faint residuals soapy bubbles of the mind,
undecided if, when to dis- or reappear, or just forever burst;
these pinpricking triggers, some shiny, more rusted, fingers
target images/spheres that over fill the hippocampus

oh god, the greats, regrets, the faces of lovers/escapees,
driving from Genève to St-Tropez, on Route Napoléon,
unknowingly selecting  Bastille Day for our back country tour,
the stone mile markers gave no warning; making history, our own,
upon a yacht in the Greek Isles, the crew, our own, ours to command,
now ashamedly, I cannot remember the faces, names, the  lovers
now, called only with uncoiling sadness,  my own, my owned, them,
whose, when, and why, and how I regret my forgetting

the children lost to bitterness and feud, silenced by a wailing wall
double thick and impenetrable, living in an apartment whose walls
are photo albums of curses and lives poorly acted; oh god, why?
are there no exits on this highway, no rest stops for bad coffee,
we drive slow so the blurry memories seen in HD sharp living color,
all are billboards on my highway of regret,
a poem completely forever incomplete




10/9 ~ 10/10
2019
nyc
this is a poem was commanded every time I hear the words
“highway of regret”
The trailing traffic
Too loud
Jumping signals in my mind

The music divine
Freedom is mine
Jumping signals in my mind

Darkness thins out
In broad Daylight
Jumping signals in my mind

Lost, never around
To be found
Jumping signals in my mind
Just for fun
A history of sadness that had shown on my face worn like a mask that had disguised the real me and hid me for so many years from the
world
But the day I met Helen was the day that my mask of sadness was put away for good never to be worn again and I began to live life to the
full
No longer felt the need of the mask of sadness to hide behind  for Helen gave me the love that had allowed
me to open up and  become the real
me
Even though Helens been gone near on three years now
she left me with the strength to carry on and not to feel the need to hide behind a mask of sadness for I have my memories of
her
For long I hid behind a mask hiding the real ne a mask of sadness mainly through child abuse Helen freed me
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