I once believed
the beauty of the fall
Lies in the purity
The ease and simplicity
of loving the right person
I believed this wholeheartedly
Until I fell
only once
And it broke me
I Fell so hard and deep
For the right person
The most perfect one
Everything was so natural
So beautifully simple
But I fell too fast
I took a leap of faith
I jumped off the edge
Into the terrifying unknown
I was in freefall
As I watched him slip away
Into the blackness
Like a shadow
Without a trace
It was too late
I was already falling
Spiriling so fast
towards nothing
Slamming into the emptiness
Shattering into a million fragments
the fall broke me
it broke my spirits
My idea of love
Now,
Theres something about falling
That just doesn’t seem worth it

I have fallen for you
since the first time
we met.
Wanting to know
more about you
was the goal that
I set.

You caught me
off-guarded whenever
you would gaze at me;
I looked away quickly—-
Heart pounding but
feeling all giddy.

I want to get to know you more
but I know that I never will;
My flight leaves at seven—-
Can’t we make time stand still?

Even though I didn’t get to ask
for your name;
There’s this hope inside of me
that our feelings——
are the same.

Deep rivers run slow
Eyes met and tears flow
Calm unspoken passion
Loves unconditional ration
On top of the rainbow red
Petals of rose and incense in bed
Bridges built on labour and pain
Safe from trouble
Two lovers cuddle
Over and above the falling rain

i see in pictures
no really, real pictures.
i still remember what the piazza looks like in my family's home town
its been 7 years.
i remember the old church next to it where they got married
i remember the stained glass windows along the walls
i remember the coffee shop across from the street that served espressos in tiny ornamental cups
i see it all.

7 years on and now i see you
i see you in that first red dress.
that first night with locks of hair that made me melt into the floor.
i see you in a dark cinema where i took the best risk of my life
where everything changed and now months later i see you
in a dress walking down the staircase
like an angel walking down from heaven.
i see you in my bed surrounded by the darkness of the night
your breath on me heavy with mine.
lost without a care.
i see you. by my side.
and i cant help but think how lucky i am.

as i write i view each moment like a photograph in my mind, some are fuzzy and unfocused but some are as clear as sunshine.
bright like the sunshine you are to me.

but i know, things are hard.
someone is going around stealing photos.
stealing images.
but we're going to take them back.

because i havent only seen and see now.
i can see what the future holds.
i can see the dew on the winter window and our faces pierced with sunlight.
i can see the nervousness of our first days into a new uni or work
and see the moment we reconvene at the end of the day to tell each other all about it
on the grassed steps of a sunken garden staircase holding hands
to birds chirping. sun shining or clouds pouring.
i can see us holding cups of tea watching shitty netflix shows
talking about anything everything
ill tell you the secrets of the universe as ill discover them
and later in the night,
we'll discover the secrets of our own hearts and souls.
between sheets. where we fall asleep to the sound of our own heartbeats
steady
steady.

i can see all of it.
clear as day even on a rainy night that this time may be to us.
to you.
you.
you did this to me.
you changed everything.
i can see all of it.
the future we could have with some time and hard work
with some love.
without letting anyone stand in our way.
because baby I'm ready to fall in love with you again and again
every single day because
i can see the future sometimes.
because i see in pictures.
no really, real pictures.
real pictures with real people like me
and you.
and us.

Maybe I can't tell
right from wrong
life from death
heaviness from emptiness
love from a lie
or your arms from mine

Still I'm sure to see
light inside something dark
matter inside the nothingness
heart inside an empty chest
care from broken hands

And when you say
the void is you
I shake my head
but follow through

Let me tell you what I see
A blackness that is dear to me
And even if you can't help but mind
my trust and care leaving your dark parts behind

I might as well be
A lantern, you see
And when the light catches you
We'll both follow through
One thing I can truthfully tell
it was never just darkness from the moment I fell

for you

I do not fear falling in love. I am in love with many things. My family, friends, animals, sunsets, the ocean, the sky. I love these things easily and never fear loving them with my whole heart. What I do fear is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same way about me. To me, that is how you die while still breathing. You can never recover from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest part about it is that you’re never going to know if you’re falling for the wrong person. That is what I fear.

Confused emotions boiling up inside of me.
Hidden deep where people don’t normally see.

Thinking always of these inscrutable thoughts.
Afraid to fall which
I deliberately fought.

Denial, no acceptance;
I rest assured not to accept it....

I tried to, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t do it.

I rest my case
and have accepted the fact,
that I have fallen,
deeply;
truly,

...in love with you.