If you like me too,hold on to me, because I need somebody to fix me. I know I'm asking a lot but I need somebody to show that they will stay.
If you don't like me just tell me I'm already broken so what is a few more cracks.
I'm fragile but tough I can handle somebody I like leaving me again.
I'm used to it. Nobody ever stays.
Nobody ever cares so please just tell me the truth
I can handle the heart break. I'm used to it.
Why can't I be as soft as I picture myself? Why are all my edges sharp and jagged and blood stained? Why does my past haunt me the way it does?
Like around every corner I will see him there, like he could still be hiding in my closet. How does he still have this effect over me? I am so afraid to be soft ever again. I am so ridden with hatred, with anger, with fucking ressentiment for anything remotely close to what we had. I miss you, fucking still, 4 years later. When I saw you at that 2 year old's birthday party I just wanted to hug you or fucking yell, maybe I just wanted you to look at me the way you used to. I wanted to show you the tattoo I got in memoriam to you, show you that I took up smoking-just so you could lecture me for it. Talk to you about my father because I know how much you admired him and ever since he died I've missed you more than ever. Your name is always on the tip of my tongue, like a secret I know I should keep but can't. So, I guess I'll see you soon.
She wished upon a star,
For a love so sweet,
That the gods themselves would be jealous,
Of their love,
She wished upon a shooting star,
For a love so sweet she would be at peace,
And all that came to her,
Was a man,
Not a prince or king,
But a pauper,
Ready to give his life,
And what little he had,
Just to be with her,
As if he comes from the star itself,
To answer her half serious wish.
Not what I imagined,
But what in this world,
Ever meets expectations?
Not a day goes by
that I don't think your name,
that I don't see your face,
that I don't feel your kiss,
you're everything to me
and I wasn't good enough.
There are some things I can't erase
your memory is one of them
ans I wish you'd have stayed
but I was never quiet the best.
Now you run along
calling someone else perfection
while I sit around here
waiting for a way to obliterate your sensations.
You ask me a question
You ask it with a lot of hope
Whether that smile is of acceptance
Acceptance of your love
It's not an acceptance smile
But it's just a smile
Filled with guilt & fear
It's a reminder of hers
I can be okay with it
But in a not so short time