There is a wire tap inside his mind
which pulls the waves in and over
the shore, fast. It floods
the earth and leaves his skin
pale and waterlogged, blue from the cold
and bloated with decay.
When the wall of water hits and the screams
of many tired, sad people can be heard,
the sinking city of Venice will crumble
away into the sea, leaving jagged,
splintered rock jutting from the ocean
like strange stone blades. In the silence
of receding water, I hear the cries
of a newly orphaned child and see
a small silhouette standing over the body
of his father, satellites still speaking
to the microphones in his dead brain.
The tide laps at his splayed limbs
and the water pulls him back
towards the ocean while the boy screams,
wailing as he clutches the cold, limp hands
and begs his father with tears and fury
to come back to him.

~~ Tsunami, 4/4 ~~

On impact, he screams his empty, chilling
scream and cries as his gritty exterior
is washed away by the icy shoreline.
The water seeps in through the cracks
in his skin and burns as it touches
the many fires of hell which dance
so brightly behind the vivid
brown of his eyes. Skin so rich
it's like a painting, the deepest
greens and most intense blues
embedded within his surface. He
is molten with beauty and fear, his hands
laced with the pain of generations.
He was a man of lava and he thawed the lady
of ice, but he is being turned to stone
by the monster she became.

~~ Tsunami, 3/4 ~~
Seema 44m

Laying on the floor
Gasping for air
Unable to reach the door
Nobody dared to care

A knife stabbed on my back
Bleeding, as I try to reach it
Crying in pain as I lack
The strength to drag up and sit

Tears flow flooding my face
You left me stranded, why?
Within a puzzled maze
Every end full of lies

If you had to leave me
Why treated me like your queen
You are blind, unable to see
My love for you, was not a sin

I feel awful, I feel lifeless
As if I am about to die
A feel of grave, so breathless
Believing now, you not my guy

I wish you stabbed me for real
So I don't feel this pain in my heart
Rather than swells of weal
Rather than being broken apart...


1:05 PM.
I am sitting on my bed, laptop in front of me.
Searching vague terms.
And then it hits--
It was you. I remember the dream now.
It was your text, after all this time, and only I on this space can imagine the feelings it brought.
It was your text, and then I had replied, and then...
And then I couldn't find it in my phone anymore.
The dream ended on searching and searching
has seeped through in my day since.
Maybe another night? Maybe another day?

i pray.

i pray that i will recover from this illness.
i pray that i will feel the joy, peace, and love
that i’ve been longing for.

i pray.

i pray that i will have the strength to better myself.
i pray that i will never lose hope in times of despair.

i pray.

i pray that i will heal every single day of the rest of my life.
i pray that i will experience less pain and more pleasure every
single day of the rest of my life.

i pray.

i pray that i will think more rationally.
i pray that i will feel that the things around me are real and not
an illusion or a dream.

i pray.

i pray that i will soon get well.
i pray for the belief that i will soon get well.


It's been nothing but down
pour, since the lightning
struck. Another bang and
I'd fall off the edge,
into the abyss that waits
for me.

pile of unpleasant thoughts and words blasting through my ears
silent cries were the reason why my sky is still clear
been eating thorns through the years
from all the flowers this mouth spit
when it should be nothing but brier
i've been drowning in cold water
but i still give warm smile to others
been trying to silence the screaming pain
but being broken inside is something i couldn't really feign.

deafening silence.
this has been,
dex 6h

I wish I had a better taste
Of letting go and moving on,
But there are so many moments I waste
Waiting for a brighter dawn.

I'm thrilled, I'm alive, I am so in love
And happier than one should ever be.
I thank my stars, our God above
That out of all, you've chosen me.

I'm sorry that I lie awake some nights,
I'm sorry I get so lost.
I know you tell me not to apologize...
But with no apology, what is the cost?

You tell me to move closer to the light,
To burn away all that is dark...
But I feel that all I do is fight
To forget this endless scar, this mark.

I'm sorry for the nightmares
That leave me in tears as I wake...
I'm sorry for the hours you spend there,
Holding me like a thing that might break.

This healing is a great abyss
(What if I never heal?)
And only your soft, reassuring kiss
Can remind me of what's real.

My vices won't save me from the memories of us
I beg them to come to my rescue
but all they do is twist the knife

This large bed we lay in could speak so many of our secrets.
I look over at you and see you looking back at me.
I'm complacent and your frustrated with me.
You crawl to me.
So drawn to me..
Like a moth to flame...
Your hands hungry for the feel of my skin.
I know what you desire..
But you know I'm unwillingly to give.
You stare into my eyes.
I see you searching for some kind of glimmer of hope.
What do you expect to find.
I'm tainted...
And I'm leaving this place..
I'm no good for you despite what you may think...
Love has burned me for the last time and the mere fear of ever falling again is just to scary to bare.
So I'm leaving on swift wings.
Im going at this alone.
I'm going to go find my shine...
My smile..
If we were ever meant to be no measure of time could ever separate that.
Please understand this is just how it has to be.

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