She was like a broken record
Repeating her song of lies ,good faith and happiness
And they all judge her
But can't they hear it
There song
It's repeating  
Maybe someone should let them know

it burns like hell
and damnation feels familiar,
there's intimacy in the mistakes we made
and love in our failures
and i wish it was easy to stop caring
damn, it used to be,
it sure as fuck used to be
but here we are

so you can call him all the pretty names
that used to belong to me
and you can shower her with affection
the way you used to do with me

it takes two to tango, or
so the saying goes
so perhaps it's time to start
moving, revising my steps
and i can improvise into my solo

it burns like hell
but that's something i'm used to,
and there's intimacy in all the ways
you've lied and lied and hurt me;
love in our failures
that lingers like a determined scar
so, yes, you can replace me
i can replace you, too
turn that scar into another tattoo so
maybe i can come to love
the pain you left behind

Olympia 2h

wistful exhausted eyes
look desperately
at the reflection in the mirror
through cracked lens
and dark circles
tears should be falling
but nothing is coming
only the sore distant pain
of knowing he's never gonna be here
he's always gonna be there
a reminder
in the back of your mind
like a fog you can't shake
but forget him for a moment
because you're stronger than this
you were meant for greatness
destined for beauty
and yet he still hurts you all the more
pulls you down and backward
till you back starting at the reflection
blank stares
sore eyes
wavering faith in the thing called

(inside my mind ... at the moment)

Why are some days harder than others.
Why is it that today of all days it got a little harder?
Why of all days did I think about you and cry a little harder?

Maybe it's because I finally see you for who you really are.
Maybe its because I finally realize everything you said, did and felt was an out right absolute lie.
Maybe its because I finally realized no matter what moments we had shared together and no matter how special I thought they were...they actually weren't...

If you asked me what killed me more... I wouldn't have an answer.

How the fuck do you tell yourself it wasen't real?
How do you tell your heart..
It was all a lie?
The love was all just onesided?
How do you tell yourself you have to forget?
You have to move on?
That even though your heart might be breaking....
His isn't...

Love has cursed me...
And so have you.

I'm glad you can walk this earth without feeling anything.
Never loving anyone.
Never feeling the excruciating pain of a broken heart.
The kind that  paralyzes you.
The kind that leaves a permanent mark on your heart.

I fucking hate it.

Weird day.
Luke 4h

A fiery bush paints the surface of my soul with desolation

Venomous air leads to my dreadful silent suffocation

I know fear is manifested through our imagination

But I can still feel its tormenting hopeless paralyzation

I agonizingly die within when I'm in isolation

My dark sinister thoughts talk with strong elaboration

More and more my broken earthly vessel is salvation

I don’t hate him
I just wish I hadn’t fallen for his little game
I don’t wish him bad omens
I just pray he doesn’t do the same to other girls
I don’t tell his secrets
I just let people figure out his intentions on their own
I don’t miss him
I just have an aching in my chest when I think about him
I don’t cry over him
I just stay up at night contemplating the pain he caused me
I do forgive him
But I don’t forget the scars he left
I don’t forget the lies he fed me
I don’t forget the things he took from me
That I will never get back
I don’t forget the feeling of unworthiness
And I will never forget the words he said
As we neared the end
I don’t hate him
But I don’t love him either.

I hold no animosity towards the man who broke me, for without him I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today.

You, with your bloody lips and red eyes
I wish my wings could shield
You, with heart shredded by vicious lies
I wish my words could heal

You, in your beaten form and fallen crest
I wish my thoughts could touch
You, in your shattered dreams so harshly pressed
We wish it wasn't so much

i cant throw my body into the arms of another.
my tendons
the ligaments, the muscles
my heatstrings lie in tatters between your teeth.
                                     behind lips that never
                                     had a nice word for me.
and if i wasnt so sad
to find the pity in this prose
id of thought im happy
                                                though i guess im not, i suppose.

I was in shock
I ran
I cried

I was better
I laughed
I sighed

I was angry
I yelled
I scoffed

It hurt so I cried and ran
Guess nothing really matters now
I cover my eyes as I cry again
I pushed her away as she wanted to hug me
I screamed at her and she looked hurt
I don't have the energy to care

I'm back in my safe haven
It's in the middle of a war zone
Wounds and tears staining the way
Until I realize mine looks worse
I can't bring myself to care
Can you?
I don't care

I feel hard today, time after time
I fell again and after today
Silence will ensue

That I have.
You said you need love that's all I have.
All I have, All I have.
Is this true?
How can I prove that I love you.
Yes i do, yes I do.
That I am.
You want someone you can trust, I am.
That I am, that i am.
You want me.
And yes its true that I'd only want you.
Yes its true, yes its true.

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