I suppose i should be happy,
My God gave me a blessing by taking away my blessing,
The blessing I was so confused about.
My dear, my precious Firdous.
I suppose I must be happy,
Every inch of my brain is telling me to be happy,
But why is there a ringing in my ears;
And so my weight on my chest,
It's so **** aggravating.
I suppose I could be happy, except that I;
I demand silence,
I demand peace,
I demand anything but to feel like this-
Worthless, insignificant, trash.
I suppose I am happy,
To be the puppet of a universe filled with
So much standard anomalies...
That the universe did not curse me to ****** my own kin...
that I didn't curse my precious with a life...
Oh the little things we tell ourselves to make it easier to live for another day,
Oh but I suppose, I suppose its necessary.
It's **** necessary.
Goodbye my precious. ♡
I had a miscarriage today. I can't believe that a week ago I was baffled with what decision to make and now at this moment, with that precious no longer inside me, I know exactly what I want/ed. The universe sure knows to make a mockery of us and our insignificant lives. And don't dare say that life is significant when basically nothing is in our control and free will is but an anceint lie.