i spent the winter thinking
it was all a lost battle to me
until the leaves came out
shrouding the world in green

they say every
rose has it's thorns
but i've got a gizmo
to strip those off

one little ray of lost
sunlight found its way
through the ceiling crack and
now there's something
blossoming inside
my shriveled heart

notes scribbled in
sharpie on paper cups
and a kiss on each of
my freckled cheeks

vague shapes in
milkfoam and learning
to accept love that i am
not used to holding onto

i don't feel like i could fly
don't feel like i could dance
but i could tuck a fern behind
my ear and grab your hand
and we could skip
up the sidewalk

and like i could plant kisses
on the faces of everyone
who i have ever cared about
push them into that beam
of sun and watch the good
feelings begin to sprout until
one day our faces all flourish
into something no longer
dry and hopeless but something
more like smiles and cheer

they say to bloom
where you're planted

i say just have the strength
to make it through the
dormant phase and when
life begins to slip back towards
warmth and light the blooms
will find their way to you

some way
keep the flower
inside you alive
copyright 6/21/18 by b. e. mccomb
To meet someone new
Is to become new yourself
Leave all in the past
I take off my hat,
let the past be just that.
are you ever just tired
of doing the same old thing
you crave more diversity and excitement in your life
you want new experiences
with new people
because your stuck
in your same old ways
and it's time for change
I can't write about you

Perhaps that's why I've been so quiet
Not quite silent
But it's lessened
He can't believe me
i don't mean to portray our love as a damaged one-
after all, i am the broken goods
coming into play; i only miss
when i was no one at all,
and what i did didn't echo in
someone's mind for eternity.
you are a wholesome edge to a
scattered puzzle,
and i am a box of rocks
spilt across the velvet of
an empty casino.

when i fell in love with you (god
saying that is even a lie-
i fall further in love every day)
i did not realize how fierce it would become.
but you have been a fortress always.
you have your weak points, sure
who doesn't, but you hold me up
when I'm down and christ
your acceptance feels like heaven.

i am a brick wall and you are picasso,
i am a furnace and you a vat of cement.
romantic words no longer come to me,
HE stole them all, along with my voice.
but i have a few to stroke your neck with in the dead of night;
i whisper blessings to a sweat-wet pillow,

and i pray that that will be enough.
and on the third day,
he erased you –
from his memory,

and mind.

perhaps you can soon,
get over him,

I knew in that moment
that I must run out into the darkness
and find a way
that even the streetlights avoid.
Find a place with no roads
where flowers of new season
will hide my unsure steps.
I knew I had to run away
Or I will never be the same.
So that I don’t loose everything
I (almost) have.
I must run back to that house in wilderness
that I left behind,
to the life I left behind.
So that there are no more graves
of my loved ones
with my name as the murderer engraved.
The conflict of new paths,
And perspectives...
Is that they all lead to the foreign
Whether good or bad.
And more often than not,
Predicting the outcomes is impossible.

What if I'm striving in vain?
If I'm afraid of death and endings,
Then why can't I be afraid of pain?

Sans endless
When the ending is decided...
Brief thoughts
The whites of my teeth are flecked with moss.
I've always smiled with my lips pressed tight so no one
Could see the salt-spackled rocks
Tumbling round in my throat.
I think you once suspected I had
The ocean inside me;
Though now I've told you,
So of course you know.

Sometimes the dolphins scream so loud that you look at me a little
Lopsided; never mind that
My ocean has no dolphins, or whales
Or fish or growing things.
Just the rocks, with their creeping lichens,
Just the weeds, choking the bay,
Just the salt, choking me-
And him, choking both of us.

Sometimes I wade in the ocean at night,
Beside you, without leaving the bed.
I let my feet sink deep in the sand
And my body carve rigid to the wind.
You breathe against me, hot, asleep,
Unknowing as I grit myself before the slapping of the waves.
I cannot help it;
I am beckoned by catastrophe.

When I jolt awake with the sea on my lips and scales in my hair,
You don't ask any questions-
You smile and kiss me and say,
In the voice I've come to name SORROW, and LOVE,
"It'll be alright. You're okay,"
And I fall back asleep in silence.

Some might say the ocean is silent.
The thickness of the night is a blessing.
But I say it's hot, and heavy,
And anyone born near the coast can attest
That the ocean doesn't whisper,
It roars.
please remember
what you are going through right now
will not last forever
one day this moment in your life will be a memory
an experience that made you stronger and wiser
right now your demons are dragging you down
but just you wait
it won't be long until you can smile at them
because you have achieved the impossible
and you have conquered your fears
and you have inspired others
and you have grown as an individual
and beautiful things have come your way
for now you will get through each day
until you will wake up to a new chapter
a new beginning
hold tight beautiful human
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