What Was Is Not

What was is not,
I remember some but little,
Special surely, I know,
Yet only remains a tittle,

What was is not,
can’t define the shapeless shadow,
It’s insane, to question what is what,
How was I bound in this knot,

What was is not,
The word alone is so abstract,
What is love, where comes and goes love,
To confound, sent from heaven above?

What was is not,
Loves a label, does it exist at all,
If real, how does a label fall,
Is the rainbow real or not,

What was is not,
What, when, why, did it die,
If it was not then why, why do I cry,
One feels the loss and coldness is why,



What was is not,
I in a dream, I can’t run,
A nightmare stuck or trap I’m in,
Where are you sun, must see the sun,

What was is not,
Will another one ignite my soul,
Yes, it is too late, that time has gone,
Fading now, I can just recall that song,

What was is not,
Sex was very nice, yes it was a part,
Not all, but I can feel loss, it’s gone, I’m sure,
There is more, another one, is not a cure,

What was is not,
The now illusory passion has fell,
It can’t be found, as if fallen in the well,
I feel not, surely none remains,

What was is not,
Yes, I’m a selfish fool,
Not willing to stay, follow the rule,
Others have, they greet each day,

What was is not,
But I want, must have, what was,
I do remember, Yes, I can’t settle, not me,
Free to love, and to live, It must be,

What was is not,
No more, I empty, alone, a lonely one,
I will make time stop, and then begin,
From all shadows of past, I run,

What was is not,
Yes, I am stubborn, but Today I smile,
In faith, knowing what was can be,
I feel, I live, yes, I will see.

James Kirk (c) 2017

Jaimi M 22h

Only once
you promise.
An experience
that you won’t
ever forget.
One turns into
two, two turns
to three.
Your words
are so
sweet, so kind
encouraging me,
making me
comfortable.
I’ll piss you off
by the end
of the night,
but we’ll
kiss and make up
fucked up
it’s hard
to remember
what made you
angry in the
first place.
-JRM

Why can't my liver filter thoughts like it does with alcohol?

It would save me the trouble of all the money I've spent to free myself of bad decisions,

There is so much formality within a sober moment, while my drunkenness speaks freely,

My brain doesn't erase moments like alcohol does, yet my liver puts up a fight reminding me to think,

Fantasizing over an image created by theses slurred and blurred overzealous eyes,

I am attracted to bars like teachers are to mls style, and to this day I'm still not sure which one has been more beneficial.

Looking down the road of allowing glass, I measured my state of mind to pick my poison,

Tequila adds a flower to a withering soul, vodka snuffs out the light where it gets to bold, whiskey fakes the fight with its bros, while gin loosens the bones and wine your emotions, at last we have beer a truth serum more powerful than love,

What they all take is feeling, a small price to learning what we see in the refection is really something we refuse to collude with.

My liver is always amazed, the amount of control I give to it, whilst the hand with a drink in it stays steady,

The other acquires shame, controlled by a freedom of released inhibitions,

If I could escape the safety of the dinner lights for the missing love that I thought drive me here,

My liver is alone, in the battle, like one soldier who's realized that their command center threw them into a death trap and their enemies are mindless zombies of fallen memories,

My toast is not alone, followed by smiles and condolences, significant enough to convince everyone, maybe one more.

All the lines in this poem were written while I was intoxicated throughout last year and while sober I formed then into this piece, thanks for reading

It’s a beautiful sky tonight,
I can’t help but look up and wonder why,
In your eyes I see the night?
And why I’m sending kisses to the breeze?
Send them rustling through the trees,
Like leaves. Like stars.
Your memories are bountiful and they surround me.

I sit there, I sit here,
Looking up in disbelief
The stars they dance in the air.
Your beauty perfumes the spaces between.
And again you have invaded me.
I’m a helpless bum on the street
Roaming, searching
For what I need
I need you. I need the magic tea,
You brew in me
With your touch
Fire blazing chest deep
It’s addicting to me.

While I’ve collected every movie and song,
I’ve remembered every verse to each one,
Every romantic symphony.
The colours now that I see
They swirl to meet
And there it is
Your soul they reveal.
There it is, the night
In your eyes.
Once more you drown me.

But here comes relief,
The sun is coming up soon
And all the dreams I dreamed
Seam a bit more real.
Getting lost in the heavens
I’m finding my way back to land,
As you reach for my hand,
And the fantasy is made real.
Here comes the sunlight,
Yet still in your eyes I see the night,
In the mysterious darkness
That’s where love hides.

kgl 3d

if, while on the other side of the world,
you buy me a book
and post it to me
along with the words
'i read this and i thought of you
and i knew you had to read it too'

then what else is left for me to do
except
          fall
               in
                 love
                       with
                              you.

Lioness 4d

I want to ripen
I want this chapter to end now
Slowly
I want to ease into this new phase
Please help me ripen

19 June 2017

LOST

Softly sea kisses, beach warmth,
Wind embrace,
Merging unknowable.

Passion lost to tidal moon’s glow,
Chill night fog ripples skin,
Joined untouchable.

When someone you loved dearly is no longer in your life.

Reckless maybe
I don't see consequences,
No trespassing sign fences,
Can't stay on the benches,
So I'm down in the trenches.

But I'm alive,
So bet the wages,
Fight the cages,
I feel the rage is
Hard to keep, to gauge.

So maybe I'm scared
Living the only life that's there,
Too short, why care?
Still every night I send up a prayer,
Be naive or become a player?

Listening for the voice,
Can't believe I finally got the choice
So why do I hear white noise?

Let's go talk to the boys
We all like to play coy.

Maybe that's in my head,
Can't tell whether to follow where I'm being led
Only certain times to be fled
Because what will I regret just
before I'm dead?

Take me on a ride,
I like your passenger side,
Feels like it wasn't a lie.
This time I'm the one who tried.
I live, breathe this pride,
But I don't wanna if that means hide.

3/8/17

Consider a dandelion
Consider a mountain peak
Consider the ripples from a single drop or beat
Consider a star explosion
Consider space and blackhole son
Consider even suns and moons
are satellites of a greater U vision

To father is to reach a view  that stretches far beyond
What you ever thought you could ever do
The highest bell rung

To father is to find what's true
fill the gap and know what is out
of ones control too

To father is to make a splash and as you fade to the depths unknown grave
the waves you made
are all that's left to carry on infinitely

To father is to be okay burning up yourself as you light the way
holding glass minerals gas and stone
without knowing exactly how or where the spinning turned a house to a home

Just knowing that when you reach
the top or your mass collapse drops
it could break the very world you create and devistate
the very plans woven to levitate
SEW
Fathers Mediate the space between
The waves and dreams
Winds and streams
Pulling your seeds apart
Stack mass and cash
to pay attention to their heART
Spinning webs of redemption
Stitching wounds building arks

So as I grasp the view
of  the present bestowed and
I shiver in the vast unknown
but no matter beating rain
or interstellar hurricane
The futures big enough for my echo to be heard again and again.

The same sun that shines on me will shine on your future and your futures future....
emme m Jun 17

one more cigarette
dosen’t matter if i die
though i’m still feeling sad
when i’m f'cking high
and there’s no motivation
in our f'cked up minds
we wanna live
not just survive

youth today
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