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kaela 2d
the quick decision
that leaves lives filled with grief.

the quick ending
of a life that should have lasted longer.

suicide is not an option
but to those of us
it's the only answer.
please seek help if you are struggling. it may seem like the only option but it only passes your pain onto those who love and care for you. suicide hotline: 800-273-8255
May 7 2022

wrap me up in a compendium
swaddle me
in a hundred volume tome
of copperplate script
and loose leaf scritta paper
printed type mixed with beetle ink-
like a pre-reformation
family heirloom bible.
or like the scriptures
which are chiseled
criss cross
upside down
and sideways
all along the catacomb walls
sprawling outward under Rome
in confused radial non patterns
of hexagonal fractals covered in symbols of heresy…
or a quarried sandstone
subterranean spirit secrets
hidden under symbols scribed by martyred
2nd century Christians,
swimming with the anchor and the cross
with the Jesus fish and all the rotas squares.

a city full of crucifixes and brass bulls
is buzzing and burning up above.
chain my bones against a Wailing Wall
with my mouth taped shut around an
Aztec whistle
or at the very least
a wooden reed.
noonday Yiddish hymnals
are all row row rowing
down my ear canals
in a boat full of
Ambrosian rites
Gallican liturgies
hot menorah oil
and the Vatican’s signal of the black smoke
still waiting on the new Bishop of Rome

galvanized lunar tetrads
waxing at the apogee
casting shadows so wide
the sun grew long forgotten in my mind
like a song not quite remembered
sung in the valley of the shadow of the Iron Age
or the present dusk of the Piecean Era
when all the Jesus fish
in the Coi pond
of the neighbors yard
were swallowed whole
by a blue heron.  
luckily every dusk soon gives way to dawn
and the high noon of the Aquarian winter
couldn't come soon enough
like the fumata bianca
a water bearer is like a living miracle
in the eyes of a dry and dusty scarecrow
and it is given us
to bring about the end of time
for it is time alone that winds on wearily
and the earth is parched
and very tired now.

bundle me up in an
ancient Kemetic lexicon
a hundred gallon vessel
of holy water couldn’t quench my thirst for
dark matter
and starlight
I used to return from the ocean with a thimble full of salt water
but it is given us to be the Saviors of the world
so now I drive to the beach in a dump truck
big enough for an open pit anthracite coal mine
reciting one quite heart-prayer
at a time,
squeezing all the holy drops
from the salt
and the barnacles
and the brine.

©️  Jordan Gee
this is what it is like to date her
Differing sins bicker amongst
Each other as to who shalt
Permanently shape me
After their ways and until
The end of my days.
Let thy ways oh Yahweh
Become my second nature
That I may breeze through
tempation with ease.
Skyler M Apr 4
I hope I do not get banned for this.
I am struggling a lot right now.
I'm Deaf and Autistic,
I work as a self-employed delivery driver.
My car has broken down.
It's $400 to fix it.
I do not have that money.
I need help, if you have anything.
Idc how little. Anything would mean everything.
Cashapp: $SkylerM02
Venmo: @SkyJMO
Thank you
I know this is really bizarre and if I can't post something like this on the website just let me know. I'm just trying to get anything to pay for my car. I'm so so desperate because I have no source of income that's not based on driving my car.
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