A steady ebb and flow providing unrelenting release.
A single moment snarled by callous disbelief.
A lock of curled honey hair scattered in the ash.
A taste of a once dripping wound dried in sand.
These are the lines for which you fall.
No, these are the bricks within the wall.
This is a descent into paltry madness.
But only half is gone this we must confess.
Two pieces of him, you, and I.
Some grotesque being, a monster
stitched together by cobwebs and lye
But hush do not worry for we found her.
So a third is removed a piece cut out,
you know of his truths, desires, and loves,
but you did not know them, him, or me?
If you did it might be easier to confess
that perhaps we should turn the lock,
it's time to throw away the key.
Let me lift
If even for a fraction of
The time fall
Marrow traveling in septum
Stretched along in spectrum
The confines of flesh
What if I could help?
Stop when svelte
Lies you by side
Incises your guise
If eyes alone could be felt
What if I could help?
i want someone to cradle me
someone to bathe my body of myself
someone to run a warm washcloth over my hips and wash away the hurt.
to cluck soothingly.
or be silent.
to take my hands in theirs and guide them away from me.
bend over me in the bath
i am helpless
a child in a woman's body
scrub my back.
get a mug from the kitchen and use it to pour the water over my head like some sort of baptism.
i dont care if the shampoo gets in my eyes
I'll keep them shut.
It will sting like going back in time
once your arms tire of dipping, filling, and pouring again and again,
give me your hand and i will get out.
I'll hold the towel close.
hugging it around my arms like some sort of bat when it sleeps
only im not really upside down
the water will drip from my hair onto the tile.
I will shiver and it will be welcome.
Anxiety attacks , alone in the dark
We want to find the right way to relax
The room is so dark , but I leave my mark
Well, it seems like the old times that i'll be alright
And now thinking my life
Thinking the things that will happen tonight
And please don't worry about me
I'm here standing on the rooftop
And ill be alright
Days have passed , surviving the last
I don't want the medicine I don't want to relax
Panic attack , destroying my heart
It seems like the days are fading so fast.
And now I'm not thinking my life
Not thinking the things that will happen tonight
And please don't talk about me
Cause i'm here standing beside you
And ill be alright.
My days have no name.
People call them:
But mine are all the same.
How do you tell the days apart when they all seem identical through the window pane?
Never leave your room, wake up to the sun going down, go to sleep to the sun rising then do it all again.
I'm tired of waking up in situations
Where I'm the one in suspended animation
The dreams are more prevalent these days
Since there's some more for us in the fray
I'd love saying they don't matter
But they're honestly far better
The dreams are suddenly telling me more
Always waking with my mind and body sore
Where in my dreams, my wings don't take me far
I never even got close enough to the desired star
I'm irrelevant to me, when I'm the most relevant
I'm the best, the stongest, smartest, the most elegant
But the king still doesn't mind
So I shall never come to unwind
I wish my armor still protected me
But instead, a god is what I must be
A pillar of shining light and hope
To help the First and Second on their downward slope
In the meantime, I've started losing myself
I hear them all in my mind, calling my name
It tears me apart.
is she engraved in your mind?
do you salivate like some rabid animal
nothing but your own selfish desire to feel skin on skin
the warmth as you enter.
must be as the
blood seeps through the sheets and
s c r e a m
fifth platue washing over you
your own personal heroin so
black market bargain made
five minutes of the worlds greatest pleasure
for a lifetime of her
so fuck you.
fuck you for taking what wasn't yours
fuck you for giving her scars
fuck you for teaching her that she is nothing more than
a warm place for a man to rest
fuck you for clocking out
fuck you you're not human.
fuck you for the nightmares
fuck you for the terror
fuck you for every Wednesday in the therapists office
for the Zoloft
for the way i flinch whenever my girlfriend touches me
for my panic attacks when i feel her skin on my skin.
you stole what wasn't yours
my life will be spent
trying to find something to fill that void.
Don't you see the way the stars shine for you? Don't you know God made you magnificent. Why do you think otherwise when you are a creation of God him self? I know life might bring you to your knees sometimes. But while you are on your knees why don't you pray to God to help you and to bring you Mercy.
sitting here, breathless, blinded, feeling the darkness set in, feeling the cold touch my skin.
is this truely how I go? lost in coldness as it snows.
you may not understand, you may not see, but this is the worst ive ever been.
I cant even recognize my reflection in the shadows.
time has jaded me, hated me, sat by and watched everyone take advantage of me.
its time to take a stand, that is the plan, but right now I dont know if I even can.
this won't bring me down, this won't kill me, of that I can garuntee.
I have to fight and take back my life because im stronger than I was as a young man.
Im tired of the lies and all the scars of knives.
ill stand up and face the world head on because its the end of twenty-one.
we cant be scared of what thrives in the shadows our entire lives.
I will live to face a new dawn.
this isn't how my life ends.
its only how it begins.