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Jay Lewis 14h
I can't help this feeling
All I want is an evening.
If you just made the first move.
I just want to be with you.
This is me,
who i am meant to be,
all alone treated like a worthless tree,
a citizen in this world again shot down,
i am not laying here cause i love the ground.
Don't try to help me,
U have already done enough,
i finally see it's just me.
top it
how could you
there's no place to crash
trust that something good will come out of today
out of tomorrow
i'll just wait
like i did i have i will
not that i want to
i'm just programmed
to say
help please
found myself in a situation
i don't want to be in a situation
she says i can't help but listen
i want to just move and choose the road most
i got tired today,
i'll just eat drink smoke sleep
without any meaning
bite my time
bide it
breaking them all
******* it up for just me
letting it all be seen
the full incomplete
version of me
if i am truly what i seem
i am wait i n g.
dec 11 2018
Jaxey 1d
i always thought it was you who had broken me, when all along i was doing it to myself
Jaxey 1d
If only I'd shown you my heart
Before falling behind someone else
Now I'm stuck loving you
When I can't even love myself
I stuck loving someone who isn't me
Sometimes when people see her,
They see the good little girl,
That sits down,
That’s quite,
And does what she is told.

The girl that doesn’t want trouble,
That’ll snitch at the sound of danger.
The girl that does all of her work on time,
That fears anything below an A.

Sometimes when people see her,
They see the loud girl,
That doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut,
Whether she’s talking to her friends,
Or when she’s firing off a sarcastic remark.

The girl that’ll throw words,
If you dare dis her family.
The girl that’ll catch hands,
If you dare push her.

They do not like this loud girl,
She should stay quite,
Know her place,
Fall in line.

But they do not like the good girl either,
She should open up,
Let loose for once,
Stand on her own two feet.

People seem to always decide,
What this girl should be.
Not the girl herself,
To show what she believes.

But it is like this with every girl.
They are all either:
Too tall,
Too short,
Too skinny,
Too fat.

These girls face constant battle,
On what they should,
And should not do.
But no one ever asks what the girls might think.

Instead the girls will live,
With these rules forced to swallow.

But soon the girls will rise,
And everyone will soon follow.
In society many girls are pressed in ideas by others on what and who they should be. People today do not like good little girls because they are considered prudes and ingnorant. However people do not like the loud girls because they're b-words and obnoxious. There are toxic images for boys too, not just girls. Overall I believe that there will be a day where the old sterotypical toxic images will come to an end, for both girls and boys.
Wish i Could
Say no to you
And be as strong
As you think I am
I'm afraid
Living in this cycle is bearable
But for how long?
How long will it take me
To destroy everything even more
Then that i already did
How can i live with this
Because the feeling
After breaking you
Will be just as bad as before
I am confused
I am screaming
I am happy
I am silent
I am all at once
I am me
A terrible person
Who hurts
Who breaks
Who cries
But mostly
Makes other people be
And the worst part is
I don't even know why
So one last time
I just want
To be the one
To speak her name as mine
Even in my dreams
She's here
But does that count as cheating?
Because it feels
Just as good
And just as bad
Even my poems show that broken is not broken Enough for me but nobody seems to realise
Can I scream for help
I want to
Can i get out of this ****** roleplay i created
Out of this lie
Out of this love
Out of everyone
Without breaking something
There is Only one question left
Why do i give out signs for help if help
Will make this word i created,
And destroyed
Make it even worse
The pieces are finally getting back together
Lies. Lies. Lies. Sick of lying.
You talked about suicide,
and how you wanted to die.
About how you wanted to cut a physical hole,
over the emotional
I’ve never told you about mine.
About how I used to drive blind,
and just hope I could run off the road
Never have I felt in a good place, or that I
deserve this heart I have.
Why do I see everything so differently?
Every other mind seems to blend together;
Not mine.
My mind is constantly driving.
It’s trying to find a reason to lose this time.
That’s why I write to express this feeling.
I’m hopeful it will connect with someone,
and I can change the path they’re taking.
Because I know I’m not alone.
It’s just no one knows how to talk about this.
An oldie I wrote a couple years ago.

- katrina ******
instagram: @wordsbykatrina
twitter: @_wordsbykatrina
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