Skye 15h

i sit for hours and days
and i wait
i wait for something magnificent
something golden and shimmery
as i sit in the cold
i wait for a person
i always think it’s him
but he’s never golden
he always loses luster
and he becomes a flat
i know i shouldn’t just sit
but i don’t know where to go
everything i’ve tried has never been golden
i see flashes of golden glitter
like a star in a black sky
but eventually it disappears
and i’m back
in the cold

I run and I hide.

I lie and I cry.

I avoid all the why's.

I get knocked down every time by this god forsaken tide.

Carter 1d

I spend much of my life
within the confines of my mind
Some days I am unsure
Whether I am dead or Alive

But the medication that I cling to
removes the existential fear
and allows my thoughts to relax
yet, it also seems to suppress my wonder

Without the pills,
I can intently watch myself write
As each stroke of my small wrist
Leaves grey stains across the blank page

With them, I can feel happiness
I can detach myself from life's pain
and realize my distractions
instead of permitting them to anchor my heart

But with my medicine I cannot create
not in the ways I wish to
They build a border between substance and surface
while it blocks out the depression
it also limits my humanity

Yet, if I were to quit taking them
the darkness would return to haunt my world
strangling my limbs, until I have no will to fight
or even to move for that matter

Without them, I can expend myself
in this art that has kept my heart beating
My emotions can freely guide my movements
in the hopes of creating something beautiful

But those pills have also saved my life
and yet, they have a dark side too
The anxiety they breed produce
such a significant strain on my actions
that I can't tell if I'm truly living

So as I sit in this barren hallway
listening to the echoes that disrupt the silence
I wonder whether my temporary refrain from my "lifelines"
will lead to my success or my demise.

Skye 1d

as i walk down this road
with the moon shining a pale glow onto my shoulders
i feel weightless
but in a good way
nothing is weighing me down
i’m like a bird
cloaked in feathers
everything is clear
my thoughts
the sky
no clouds
i understand now.
and i’m content.
i’m alone
in a way
but i’m okay alone
for now
because he taught me things
and i appreciate that now
and i don’t long for his name
i’m no longer mad
i’m at peace with who we were
and who we are now
and i hope so is he.

about a person who changed me
about a person who helped me develop
about a person who listened to me
about a person who supported me
about a person who made me feel better
and about a person who i hope to never forget and who won't be forgotten

you are there,
but i can't see you
you are right beside me,
but i can't feel your presence
your eyes are staring back at me,
but they are nothing more than just eyes
we are nothing but strangers,
but those sweet smiles always there,
haunting my vision
are you even alive?
or is it just me imagining that you are exist?

What do you call it when all you feel is pain?
When your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame
When your know your life is meaningless and your the only one to blame
When your tired of living and playing this game

What do you call it when the hurt is in your soul?
When you smile and light it you know it's just a show
When you feel like you've hit your all time low
When nothing makes you happy and the darkness grows

What do you call it when you feel so alone?
When your in your home but it doesn't feel like home
When you look back in your life and every choice you made seems wrong
When the wait to die seems too long...

carissa 2d

I was caught in your gaze again
one that if you trace I look away.
a gaze that no one caught except my heart,
oh how my heart skips a beat then races to
catch up. how your smile lifts me up when my tears
drown me out. oh how your words comfort me even
when they aren't to me at all. how your gaze that i'm still
stuck in a maze, until you meet and smile till the next day
ill stick like this for a while.

i love him and don't know what to say.... help

Breathe steady,
Let the wind stay to your back
Catch your breath
And now,
Just walk

The world can beat against us
Just keep walking
Yell at the world for what it did to you
But keep walking

Two laps later you can stop
But we aren't there yet
So keep going
Till you can't catch your breath
And your steps start crossing each other

Laugh your ass off,
Then play a little guitar
Just hope for the best
Because times are changing
And we have to learn to take a hit
All of us

After one good night, I watch silence creep back in. I'm getting lost, and I'm alone at this point.
bryn 3d

but waiting

but not showing it

calling for help
but not really

but writing this poem

covered in a shell
as one by one,
bubbles join.
i hope they will go away,
but I know i will pop before they do.

god i feel so pressured at school

Oh please.
Just know that I care,
that I am aware
that I feel
and I hurt
and I cringe
for all the times
you've had to restart
to try to begin--
I know it's hard,
I know it's not fair--
but my hope, my heart
will always care.
Oh please.
Don't think I'm not here
caring and loving
and feeling
because I truly do--
you see, I ache
and I cry and I feel bereft
just as much as you--
but sometimes my words,
my expression
just won't come out
the way I need and want it to--
but oh, my dear ones
I feel your pain, your heartache
your angst and desire
to just quench and drown out
this unending fire--
but only you and me and perhaps
others too
can put an end to the suffering
which encompasses our hearts,
our souls, our beings you see--
so please, just please
keep caring, keep believing
in me?
And I will do my best
to believe in YOU too...
©Pamela Rae 04.24.2017

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