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jia m 14h
i have a lot of friends,
they make me laugh and cry,
but why do i still feel alone?
i want to find out why.
Monisha 1d
Just like that,
I felt a sprinkle of pain,
You know the kind that gnaws and grows,
And nibbles your insides.

What started it, I wonder,
A buried thought,
a deserted experience,
Befallen, buried, squashed,
Run asunder, but still alive.

It pushes through the barriers to say,
Hey you! Yes you!
I exist,
Don’t think your looking away,
Will stop me coming back, some day.

Huh! I beat it hollow,
and there it’s slimy self crept back,
I had learnt not to feed it as it would grow,
I keep it on such a strict spartan diet,
My oh My! Look how bulbous it looks!

Hmmmm! Pain, were you feeding inside of me merrily while I was asleep,
Chewing my tissues, chomp chomp, burp,
Deep so very deep,
I feel I am missing a bone or two,
you gluttonous pain,
I am sure you’ve gobbled up many cells too.

Dark, gray, silent, doom,
Am I on for lifelong gloom,
Aah! Hrmph! Boo hooo!
What do I do,
So many around me,
Who do I reach out to?

Oh I do reach out,
And they say,
You? Couldn’t be,
You’re so strong,
It doesn’t fit you well, this pain you see!

I laugh, Is this pain
A size smaller for me,
Am I self indulgent,
In saying it hurts.

I start looking around,
And see many like me,
Laughter hiding the pain,
Cloaked well, their touch warm,
The tremble reaching out in vain.

It’s tough, this despair,
Sometimes with valid cause,
Many times so much accumulated,
Unaddressed, unmet, covered with gauze.
It rears it’s **** head
For many
Eating their insides,
It’s canine jaws,
Sharp and unrelenting.

I still don’t have an answer,
Who does really,
Expectations, recriminations, justifications, validations, manipulations, mechanisations,
Eat us up a bit more.
We sleep off some days
hoping to sleep away to nothingness.

And then we arise to the morn,
The sun filtering through, casting its warmth,
A bird in the distance chirping away,
Pain still there but so are my fingers glowing like starlight along the Milky Way,
My limbs stretch and I purr away,
The clocks tick tock,
Reminds me of a chance,
A new beginning,
A fresh start,
A fresh me,
A wounded but mighty heart!  

Facing my pain instead of sublimating it,
Nursing it tenderly instead of ill treating it,
I know you’ll ease out, heal out,
And I will be better each day,
Because this life, this beautiful life,
Is worth living each moment, every day.

When I face you, I shall share you,
Tell your story to those I want to,
And suddenly, you will feel acknowledged and dance way into the oblivion because you’ve been sung to, heard, cuddled and celebrated.

Till then, I trudge along...
This is an ode to so many of us who carry burdens of hurt, unresolved pain, and stories to self which need to be heard. May you seek and find those willing to listen and hold your hand, sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes you need more, but seek you must. I send you my love and hugs and Godspeed to find your pain and acknowledge it, only then healing starts.
James R Apr 25
I pick and poke
and **** for meaning
and find it on shelves,
in the broken dashboard
of my old car,
and in the pain of glaring
directly at the sun.
In doubling up on ramen packs
and drinking Corona past 10pm
because I’m drifting.
In swiping left and right
in search of something
I’m not sure I want or need.
In searching for meaning where, sometimes, there is none.
I pick and poke and ****
to find a reason to care.
I hid this one a long time ago but now I'm comfortable sharing it
Sylph 1d
It funny
The weird positions that your bad choices
put you in

Im dead
but
at the same time
Im slightly more alive

Almost found
yet still completely lost

no one can save me from the depths of darkness
that eat me alive
And it will
until im reunited with the life
I wanted
and I made
Life *****.
i had found what i wanted
i was finally happy
life finally felt right
and yet
somehow
the world says its wrong
Jay M 1d
Take me away
Far away
To a land of wonder

Soon, I beg,
Soon, I plea,
Lift me up
Dear family...

Hated by the blood,
I know,
But family of soul
Please don't let me go...

- Jay M
October 21st, 2019
i'm always wondering when i'm in public space,
there are lots of people, strangers that probably I won't meet again,

you'll never know what's going on in their lives,
you ever imagine about it?

probably they're living their best life,
probably they can be happy with who they are,
probably they have someone who holds their hands and tell them it's all gonna be okay,
probably they have healed from their past and traumas,

but also,
probably there are scars and cuts under their sleeves, shirt, shorts, skirt, or jeans,
probably they just lost their dad, mom, or beloved ones,
probably they're battling with thoughts that telling them to surrender and end it all,
probably they're not in a good terms or even thrown away from their family cause of who they really are,

or probably,
they're planning to leave all these behind,
planning to surround their necks with a noose,
planning to freewheel from a bridge,
planning to stay in their bathtub and cut off their veins on their wrists,
planning to take some--no, lots of pills to numb themselves,
planning to land a bully in their head,

anything,
and that you'll never really know what's going on in their heads and their lives is scary,

and sad.
please reach out for help.
Jules 1d
What's the point in asking you for help?
Only makes more problems
What the hell
Much more simple
just to slip away
Goodness god
Don't make me have to say
it

Let's pretend we've never met before
Would you leave
or would you ask for more?
Look at me
and say it isn't true
Shamefully
you've wanted all this too

Over and over again
until it's gone
That's the price you pay for what you've done
Shifting rhythms
messing with the time
Chasing after
what's not really mine
Jules 2d
I didn't call anyone
I never did asked for help
Now I'm looking in the mirror
I barley recognize myself
Anon 2d
Every night,
Tears fill my eyes.
I don’t want to fight
And I can’t continue these lies!

My mind goes numb
And the damage is done.
I lift the gun
Then I see the sun.
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