I can't trust my mind or my heart like you can't trust a post laxative **** Seems like they've both been plotting against me from the start, planning to steal this soulful art Like they know when it comes to the afterlife, reincarnation plays a big part And with the knowledge and comfort of that truth they're ready to scrap me now like bad art A defective throw away product that seems to have been bought at a dollar general corner mart Then pushed around in a stolen grocery cart till interest fades and goes dark I have to find the right end with no place to start, close my eyes and toss a dart Then keep the blindfold on and let you tell me the score, not smart Last time I trusted either of you ya fed me the equivalent of a week old shart Through a feeding tube that I didn't need according to my hospital chart Neglecting real issues when there's endorphins to bogart, losing my mind, watching my soul depart I've lost and broken the both of you yet you still torment me, not even phased by my rampart I never stood a chance, oblivious to the warning siren like Mozart, silent as I'm pulled apart No one will think back on me but if they do I'll just be seen as another failed upstart
I can not do it, I can't Did everything one is supposed too and still failed Wasn't expecting to faceplant I wanted it, prayed for it, dreamed about it and it sailed My plea rang out like a chant Gave up? I played to the buzzer, when the buzzer sounded I trailed All hope I was forced to recant Before I knew it I blew it, my loss was unveiled
I failed all my poetry by belching words that isn't me I bob and weave and stitch the seams adverting mental catastrophe with one eye flush and one eye shut I spew the jargon that lights me up I post it here I post it there and hope it sticks and fills the air
She used to be alive Not hanging on by a thread Not worrying if she’d survive She was living life instead Then the lights went out And the fears began to shout And she sat in the dark with no desire to face another day Out of place, out of grace She retraced all the ways she had failed Then she thought why waste another day? There’s nothing left to say Nothing left but today Plans already underway But there must be a reason to stay
Mother don't cry, Have I disappointed you? I know I have. I know when I have, it ***** that I do. And I’m sorry that despite my best efforts, I am not the child that will check what expectations fill your list, But rather, am the one that will make you create new ones.
It would be terrible if you found out But I think you'd still talk to me after some time You might already know But the problem is you're too much of a gentlemen To let me know that you know what I know about you But they know The people you know And who's to stop their delicate pink folds of skin Trap the sound vibrations inside their mouth Before their warm breath fogs up the crisp air The secret escaping
I'd be so easy for them to open wide And let it out like a lightning strike Shocking news of untold truth It's okay I'd understand The temptation of gossip is hard to withstand
I could hardly keep it in myself My blushes and laughs Wanting to hang out at sunset Like distant thunder claps getting closer and closer Tempting the lightning to strike Right here, the roof I am under
Meanwhile your eyes were on her So how much of me you registered I'm not so sure But you're a kind gentleman You'd never say Instead, let it all fade away With the breeze of a cool fall day
So, when we get coffee or lunch Never dinner or brunch I staple my mouth shut Take no chances on weak lips Leaking trembling heart vibrations Someday, 8 years from now Thunder will clap softly in the background I'll let my lips speak freely The truth crawling out Covered by the dust of 10 years of memories Thunder getting louder and louder now "I was in love with you once, ..." Lighting strikes Burns this roof down Deep breath, I pause Let no more sound speak its cause That's enough lightening for one day Any more sound and the whole town will burn down Once again I'll pull out my office supplies That I once shoved in back corner of my mind And staple my lips closed again At least now he knows what I thought he knew And what they knew And what I knew since the day I saw you in the library room
Far off in a distance Thunder claps again Faint, but creeping ever closer How soon will it be Till lightning strikes another dismembered tree?