Yes, being religious again,
I was here, Jesus does say,
I'm never going to Golgotha again,
But I'm still here, blessings today,
If you wish, I'll brighten you my way,
Blessed are my peacemakers, let's say,
You're all God's got on Earth these days,
Let's pray for global peace, His way!
Most of my life is a forgotten cliffside. There's nothing you can really do about it, it's just the consequence you pay for being alive.
I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I can remember my schools, my friends, my parents, my teachers. But I don't remember my sisters. Only my brother, the little boy carrying the family name on his shoulder blades... But he is not ready for that.
As for my sisters... I do not officially "know them" until they begin to leave. I was 11 when they started leaving my house, and 13 when they started re-entering my life.
There is no excuse for arriving late to my life crisis. But what crisis is there anyway?
I grew up alone.
Sisters too old, brother too young, parents too protective.
Too eager to run through the halls of my early life, and high school is not what I expected the years to be. But I am still here... alive.
And there will always be that to hold on to when the sky falls from the stars that pin up the rest of the universe.
Or the the clouds fall from the blue sky just before that cliffside collapses into the abyss.
This is the artistry that is my life on a power surge. Feeling the shock of the first kiss, and the break of the last word.
The many voices, and single sayings. The before and after. The push and then the fall.
The feeling of all my memories being shot.
But not killed.
This is the joy of living off of the electric tower... or the Eiffel tower.
This is life made wild, love made public, friends made family, me made whole again.
Me surviving the cliffside fall for the 378th time this week.
Safety nets were never written in the fine print of this circus act.
But this feeling can kill as much as it can save. It is, and always will be a cosmic shot across the front of my skull...
Opening my mind into eternity. Until I decide to go back to that cliffside...
Once there was Golgotha, when,
A God walked amongst men,
Is He coming back again?
He walks with our feet,
With our smiles He greets,
He works with our hands,
A friendship for many lands,
His ghost looks like His shroud of Turin,
Is He ever coming back again?
I always found you attractive,
since I first saw you in the schoolroom.
Cheerful friend, shining, finely moulded.
Later you climbed above my class.
I was shy, lacking nous.
Then we moved up - single-sex schools,
repressed when our feelings flexed.
Vexed with books, exams, homework,
competing for our chosen paths.
We work in neighbouring labs.
Please answer my lovelorn phone calls.
You're still my magnet,
and I'm your iron filings.
I guess I try to find the good in everyone.
But more particularly, in you.
I had this picture in my head of what it could have been, just like everyone envisions their life with the person they love.
I guess at first I wasn't sure what this was going to be, or where "this" was going to go. But I sat down for the ride, and buckled up. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but for you I'd risk the crash and fall.
It started with the look in your eyes. Every time you would look at me, I thought for sure I could see the love in your eyes. And then it was the touch. Every time your skin touched mine, I thought for sure I could feel the love through your finger tips. All of a sudden it was the words. The three little words that are so small but are worth so much; i love you.
God, I love you. It came to that? I didn't know if I was ready for everything that came with "I love you" But hell, I'm in for the ride, right? I mean I sat down and buckled up so hell, I'm in for the entire ride. It took me awhile to say it back, but I knew that I loved you too-- Maybe I loved you too much already, maybe too soon.
I could feel myself growing with you. I felt myself growing because of you. I felt like life was starting to make sense, but I guess I let my feelings get ahead of me because last night I felt nothing but sadness.
Last night I felt like everything we made, everything we found, was doomed. Hell, it is doomed. We are nothing anymore. You must have found yourself in her, and I guess that's okay.
You cant force someone to love you back- right?
I guess I'm in this alone.
I wanted to be born again in this life,
For that I wanted her to be my wife.
But alas, she grew up too quickly,
Too different and too indifferent.
What I lost is not just a lover,
I lost a part of my total soul.
Now I should realize that,
Which I was ever escaping.
I have been always made to realize,
That only I will always be with me.
Only been able to picture myself alone,
'Cause they all leave me at the end of it.
Have I not been just watching them go,
Is she too not just an imposter of them?
Your presence is benign,
On this planet,
Unto Mars your scent reaches.
Finish the pending job,
Articulation is the work,
Reaching far is your scent,
Tackling this humourously,
Ending this ode I will be,
Doomsday seems to descend.
A rainbow of blood,
Not visible to humans,
Deathly is the scent.
I mean it for real,
Wasps from hell seem to sting,
As needles of repugnancy prick,
Sadness descends for forever.
Himalayas seem to be an escape,
On the change of atmosphere,
Rows of roses are required,
Right now and right here,
In an attempt to save us,
Breathing became hard,
Lost was the will to live,
Early was fresh air needed.
So, that was the year that's been,
I reminisce on the vast global scene,
Somehow we dance on an inferno, it seems,
I hope I don't end up writing an epitaph,
An elegy of youth's futile autograph,
Is it to be conscription, perhaps,
Or overseas deployment for chicks and chaps?
Yes, we welcome in 2017,
With closure on the year that's been.......
Here, little one
Come and follow me;
The roads may be scary
And the oceans deep.
Walk with me and keep me company,
I'll see you safe and through
Listen to my mediocre teachings
Mon petit chou chou
The demons in your head,
May command your feet;
But there's plenty of terrible ones
Waiting for you to meet.
So follow, little stargazer
And when these things ring true,
Just remember, my darling:
They're not stronger than you.
Your mind commands a thousand seas,
You're smarter than you know,
Have confidence, adventure, belief;
There's a long way left to go.
And trust me, little stargazer
With this you'll get through.
It's hard, I know, but you can fight,
For I was once like you.