took a dive and hit the deep end again

oh, where did it all go wrong?
(where did it all go wrong?)

it’s hard to pinpoint, or start,
i caused so many problems

(i feel so hollow)

all i know is destruction is my adrenaline
and

i don’t want the high to ever end.

i don’t want to feel.
i don’t want to heal.

so give me the fix, and let’s pretend,

because all i’ve got is sink or swim,
survive, and hold on,

because this wire has frayed,
split apart

and took a nosedive
headfirst into the heart.

oh, where did it all go wrong?

i took a chance, now star-crossed

the fire in me, once strong,
sways and flickers,
before going dark.

oh, where did it all go wrong?

the wires are crossed,
the messages aren’t clear
and

habits die hard.

the question is whether i can quit this

or will i dive headfirst
into my own sins?

clouded by judgment, lost within,

can’t say i didn’t give my all.

i just find it easier
just to give in.

I hate
the way my heart clenching
the way myself benching

I hate
how I let myself to fall
just to catch the ball

I hate
myself
for
letting me
fall in love
once again

or
perhaps
I just hate love?

18 kisses on your lips, and one in your cheek;
As your two eyes look up from resting on the 17 muscles that comprise my shoulder.
I think of you three times and hour, every 16 hours I grow older,
Every one of my 15 glances of you make all four chambers of my heart weak.

Let every finger from my hand caress you for the next two weeks.
Let every single word of this sentence kiss you half a dozen times.
Let every note on the music scale sing 12 romantic songs that rhyme,
Because in every phase of the moon, like the Apollo that landed, it is you I seek.

My love for you is a logarithmic fact,
having as many lives as a mischievous cat.