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TD 2h
A yawning the wastrel sighs
(yon battered shores
and sawdust eyes):

“The morn has alit
with rouged cheeks,
I soothe”—(not a keen one wit’ wit)

and true—cockerel ‘do’ a’glaring
his driftwood pillow beset
erst ‘daisically staring

fair warning sailing by.
Lacka* ;)
i found myself stuttering over your name in conversation

it was almost two months ago

although i keep wondering if it happened for a reason
maybe to prevent the eventual sobbing that night
doesn't mean i don't kick myself for it

i constantly feel the weight of your ghost
maybe it's selfish of me to notice the consistency of you
or to assume it is always you

or is it low of me to think that you wouldn't be there

i've held onto this thought since july

and i'm just angry you're dead
I even read
your famous poems
that many people
have read.

I even read
it many times
and got lost
in it.

I even thought
I might
easily remember
all the titles
of your poems
in every word
and I have also
been able to
understand it
little by little.

I even started
writing poetry
for myself.

I even sat
for a long time
just to think of words.

I even want
to be like you
or maybe more.

“Am I enough
to be able to achieve
what you once
I tell you
in front of
these poems
of mine.

“I want to be myself”,
he told me in this poem
now you're
Indonesia, 21st September 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
You were once a person I thought I could trust,
You always had my back and made sure I was okay.
That is until my friendship wasn’t a must,
So you turned your back and just walked away.

I thought you and I would be an unstoppable pair,
We would forever be the best of friends.
Soon you grew cold and made a tear,
I tried to fix it but we couldn’t make amends.

You and I are now perfect strangers with a past,
We smile all big and bright while we break inside.
Finding out even the best friendships don’t last,
Because you looked me in the eye and lied.
Why do I feel so lost?
My life is getting better day by day,
But my mental health seems to be the cost.
I'm trying to listen, but I'm tired of what they say.
The voices in my head are so loud,
It's drowning out everything out.
I feel like I have to act proud,
But I just want to shout.

Leave me be you stupid inner thoughts!
You cut me down harder than a knife,
You make me feel like I'm at a loss.
I don't want to die but I wanna give up on life!
Why does everything have to be a certain way?
Why do people continue to judge?
Can't people just finally stay,
I'm tired of each and every petty grudge.

This world is simple but yet so hard,
I want to give up but I don't know how.
I make a mirror break and use a shard,
I'm not okay, there is no way back now.
Like ***** I've known for awhile,
It doesn't change the fact that I still love you.
I keep trying to live in denial,
You keep changing but I wish you loved me too.
the words flowed like water
the words crashed like a wave
the words freed him from the prison cell
a poetic escape
the words flowed like water
syllables sliding like synchronised speech
the words crashed like a wave
when he found the poem ending
sometimes freedom is not truly free
sometimes freedom is not truly free
I've cut open my eyes
And to my surprise,
I found an old carousel projector
With millions of upsidedown pictures inside.

The machine starts to whir,
And my life flashes by,
Every memory frame by frame,
On these convenient little slides

Every laugh, and every smile
Every absence of joy,
Those slides seem to last longer on this carousel of poise.
My friends were talking about writing poetry and it's admittedly been awhile since I've written anything so I decided ***** it one more wouldn't hurt, I was gonna touch it up a bit here and there but tbh I can't be bothered, it was also gonna be longer butttttttttt :p (also if someone says carousel of poise doesn't make any sense too bad deal with it I do what I want)
of  bells echo
Distance and lucid
Lulling to me ,
A familiar
Church on the other
Side of town

I am less holy
Tonight, Getting darker
By the hour.

I dreamed

of you once
On a cold barren night
& here you are
Wavering, languid,
never remaining the same.

Cold Santa Barbara Air
Into the small top floor

Needle in my green vein
Bleeding , eyes closed
& consciousness vast-
Fading in
And out,\

His breathing louder, rising
Like the waves, crashing,
into me
Like the waves.  

I am lucid tonight.
born to escape
This life, for
We watch the distant
Sea in awe
And sing lyrical tunes in a vacant
Apartment at dawn and we leave our homes
Only to miss them.

We never belonged here in the first place,
It never felt like home.

My limbs are long and sore
From a falling unto the earth

we were born to escape
Peter B 4d
Partying hard
every day, every night
at the Festival of Poetry -
the festival of my life.

My bracelets
are flickering in the moon.
I'm kissing
the flowers, they make me bloom.

I'm drinking
the sweetest wine on earth.
I'm dancing
with a naked silhouette.

I'll be dancing
until the very last breath.

There will be no hangovers,
no regrets.
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