Jose H 9h

I saw you in fall
Red shirt, black leggings and black shoes

I saw you in winter
Black sweater, blue jeans and black shoes

No matter when i saw you, you smiled
A beautiful crystal smile

No matter the night i can always hear your voice
No matter the situation, I always smile at your laugh

No matter what
I can say,  a kiss was always just a kiss
Till the day I kissed you.

Till the day you deceived
The day you used
The day I hung my head in shamed
Till the day I kissed you,  became the most regretable day.

In a nutshell you are the ocean
And I am a toy boat
Caught in the waves
We collided and I was sent rolling . . .
MDMA, lovers speed
You taste good but you could kill me
My personal brand of ectasy
Or maybe you're LSD
You changed me
The chemicals in my brain
Will never be the same
I'm stained
Acid psychosis
Too many doses
But what I like most is
You running through my veins
I marked the needle with your name
You're the flame under the spoon
One pin-prick takes me to the moon
It's over too soon
Then I'm jonesing
Can't stand to be alone see,
But time is pretty crystals
A quarter is too pricey
Days go by and I'm spun out
Strung out
Hard to find time when the sun's out
What can I say, I guess I'm a junkie
Losing my mind when you leave me
But the high is like no other
We might kill each other
It's out of control
But your eyes are the color of my soul
And I want you to stay
Damn, please don't walk away
Just one more hit and I'll be there
Don't go, just say you care
And I'll keep nodding
Brain rotting
Veins buzzing
That good loving
I need you

As your falling asleep
Rolling over to turn out the light
Pulling the covers over your shoulders
While the rain lightly falls outside
I hope you absent-mindedly say my name
I hope the habit
Of sleeping beside me
Has become so ritualistic
That for a split second
You forget I'm gone
And you hear the echo
Of your own voice
In the vacant studio
While the murmur of the
Machines whirl outside
Your closed door
you close your eyes
And remember what it was like
To wake up next to me
With the coffee bubbling
And the cat purring
I truly hope
It stings
the moment the vowels of my name come rolling off your tongue
You're struck with the blinding guilt
You'll never have that again
The blonde hair
On my old side of the bed
Will never be mine
The coffee bubbling will never be made by me
I want it to grip into you
As you lay awake
Thinking about the world we created
And easily you let it break.

Probably shouldnt miss you - but i do

Don't let your guardian angel double as the janitor picking up all the pieces to your broken dreams.

katalyn 3d

My morning coffee was bitter;
Like it had been up all night replaying your words again.. and again;
Like it was tired of hanging on to hope
But it was strong too..oh so strong

You will get through this god damnit and you will be better for it.
Nylee 5d

They ask me to speak
but I have no words in the head,
I am the blank state
and they are not going to wait.

Their voices erupting
their sounds disrupting,
the construct of my thoughts
turning it too short.

It feels ridiculous
how empty my mind feels,
words do not say
what they are suppose to.
I loss my breaths midway
forgetting to open my mouth,
they say to speak loud
they are being unnecessarily rude
they do not know I can't.

It surprises others that it is not easy
to find your voice in midst of the noise,
silence though nice gives you no presence
and no one comes to my defence.

Try clearing my throat
struggling to open the mouth,
waiting for sound to let out
with words that support my cause.

I'll start by say that some people think life is goes by fast, but they are wrong life is the longest thing we go through. As for how I feel about it, life if what you make it, if you're searching for some sort of meaning behind it, I feel like you're living life wrong. The only thing you need to search for is happiness, that doesn't mean there won't be bad, there will be a lot of bad, but the bad doesn't out weigh the good and the good doesn't necessarily trump the bad. With out either though, what is life? So, to me life is experiencing moments you'll never forget and being happy you even are here to do that.

I'm taking control
of the memories you left me with.
I'm taking away your power
to hurt me with your past self.
I'm holding the noose
around your neck,
and as pissed off
as hell after a rainstorm.

I won't bat away reminders of you
out of fear
but because I choose to.
Your bad memories
won't stop me from holding
the man I love.

You don't get to ruin my life.

I couldn't stop you
from hurting me then.
But I can stop you
from hurting me.

I'm going to keep building a life
for myself,
because I damn well
decided to.
Not because the past
magically went away,
not because I was magically healed
of trauma...
but because I'm digging my heels in
and saying no.

I'm taking ownership
of my past relationship,
I'm taking ownership
of my mistakes.
I'm not locking them up
out of fear anymore,
not because I feel like
I'm a child again
and I can't protect myself,
but because I'm a woman
and I can,
and I'm angry,
and I own what has been done to me.
It's under my command.

I'm going to blaze into
my twentieth year
like a hornet
that had been trapped and shaken
in a jar,
who just had the lid removed.

I have ownership
over my brain.

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