IF YOU EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR QUEST
YOUR DREAMS WONT COME TRUE
YOU MUST STICK TO YOUR PATH
LIKE YOUR MENTORS ALWAYS DO



YOU MUST FOCUS ON YOUR TASK
WITH DEDICATION AND BE STRONG
BUT YOUR JOURNEY MAYBE HARD
WITH PERSISTENCE YOU WILL GET ALONG



WHEN OTHERS TAUNT YOUR DREAM
YOU MUST ALWAYS STAY TRUE
BECAUSE REACHING YOUR DESTINATION
TO YOURSELF YOU MUST BE TRUE.  


TRUMP CHRONICLES  amazon.com

What do you see when you close your eyes?
What do you dream?
Where does your heart go?
Do you see her?
Standing on the beach,
Wet feet and sandy hair.
Do you see her,
Sitting at a table,
In your favorite restaurant.
Eating your favorite meal.
Do you see her,
Sleeping in your bed,
Peacefully and steady.
Or do you see me?
Broken and drenched.
Heart and feet in a puddle,
Ready to be your favorite fuck-up.
Nothing special, nothing new,
And probably nothing good.
But ready to worship at your feet,
Once again.

I have known you since the day you were born.
No one else has known you that long.

I loved and rocked you before you even knew what a sister was.
I fought fights so you wouldn't have to.
Always protecting you.
I cried so you wouldn't have to.
Do you remember?

I taught you how to read.
Was there on your first day of school.
Let you sleep with me when you were scared.
You trusted me. When trust didn't come easy.
Do you remember?

The summer we spent months being nuns. The pillowcases on our heads as we blessed everyone.
All the games I made up just to walk around the house, in the dark, with the boy we all liked?
Do you remember?

Our plans to run when we knew danger was coming?
Run into the woods and hide until danger went home.
Do you remember?

Sometimes we fought.
But it was never a lingering thing.
It's impossible to stay mad when you can't vent to anyone.
I still shared your space. I was still in your face.
We still slept together in the same room.
Do you remember?

There are people in the world, flung out like a handful of stars now, that have known me forever.
That will listen when I need to talk, that will talk when all I  want to do is listen to their voice.
Finding comfort. So many marathon calls.
Do you remember?

You came back to me through the years.
Living with me at times.
Coming and going like the tides.
We were all kids raising kids.
Trying to be little mothers.
I still tried to be everything you wanted me to be.
For you.
I tried to be a mother for all of you. Making it up as I went along.
Do you remember?

I know what motivates you.
I know what hurts your heart.
I know what you are thinking. It's really not that hard.
I have already walked the paths you are taking.
I have already made the same mistakes.
It's what an older sister does.
Do you remember?

I have forgiven things that I wouldn't tolerate in anyone else.
Out waited apologies.
Came back together in tragedies.
That's what families do.
The forgiveness was easier than expected. Wasn't it? Just like you have forgiven me.
Do you remember?

You grew up knowing me.
Unlike anyone else will ever know me.
And I know you. I know your heart.
Because sometimes we beat as one.
My sisters.
I remember. And I will never forget.

I often catch myself
worrying about me
                  that's how you know
                             I must be
                             fucked up.
It's okay though,
                 i'll be fine..
one day.

if you start at the bottom
you won’t rip it all out
if you work your way up
if you give yourself time
now just work through the middle
you will get to the top
you just have to wait
cus you don’t want dreadlocks

let it grow out from within
you're still still
just a row of sharp pins
it's ok
untangle it
and the comb will slide though
and the shampoo is out
i get side tracked, i'm sorry
in dark you see light
for me it's too bright
who thought who was right?

i don't know any thing
but the conditioner goes in
just at the very tips
it's ok don't be scared
and you know that he’ll care
when he feels just how soft
but you knew he was there
you just somehow forgot

and its tears and it's wet
and its fear its just running
right here
let water run down
let it wash itself out
when the stuff is all gone
you can open your eyes
you can see all too bright
but just focus on the tiles
as you sit on clean ground
you're not lost, you're not found

now all you hear is the water
and song in your mouth
and you know that he’ll care
when you've washed it all out
you just had to come clean
you just can’t be so mean
and you don’t have to rush

no you don’t need to run
just to write it all down
it was there all along
if you keep it in mind
you won’t ever be scared
it wont ever be gone

if you sit and just stop
it's a circle
a swirl
it's so smooth
a whisper
a beautiful pearl
you don’t have to prove points
and you don’t have to right wrongs
cus truth will be
and it will be so long

now you don’t need the light
and you don’t need the dark
if you learn to trust fear
you can turn it all off
you can see through it all
but wait why would you want to?
a dreams just a scream on your television screen

just watch your own thought
nothing's lost
nothing's bought
a divide just a line
with two dots either side
close your eyes

i'll always still care
i'll always be there
to wipe any of your windows
i wont leave you in mess
just my dress in your treasure chest

could go on and on and on
but i'll be late for escape
can't be so awake
so just stop
do or don't create?
a space
a place
or face
i don't know
so just wait for the next embrace
leave me a trace everywhere
please
i am scared
im notscared

now i’ll turn off the light
and i'll sleep well tonight

If you tell me what I can and can’t read. I will break up with you.

If you forget to introduce me to people you know, repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly, to the point where I wonder if you realise I’m here or I wonder if it hasn’t even occurred to you that I’ve become a blur of me and every other girl you’ve been fucking prior to me and you can’t remember which fuck has been introduced. I will break up with you.

If you say before sex “just get it over with” I will break up with you.

If you say you love my butt, before you say you love me. And then you quickly say “oh no I love you too” I will fucking break up with you.

If you say the book you’re writing is the most important thing in the whole world in your life. You will be broken up with.

If you blame me for not being on my best socialising game for your birthday while I’m in chronic pain. I will break the fuck up with you.











I wish you were the type of person I could still want. Cuz I thought you were and I really wanted that person.