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joey Mar 21
infatuation
an intense or short lived passion
or admiration for someone or something
an elaborate definition right?
at this point i know this word well
it can be synonymous with puppy love
or a flight crush
it's the way you describe someone*
when you are in denial
about how you truly feel

when i was a sophomore
my hopes for senior year
included a high school sweetheart

but here i am
two years later
lonely
unhappy
tired
not in love

nowhere close to achieving the dreams
and hopes
a younger naive me
had for this age

part of me didn't expect to live this long
another-- upset that i have
without a choice
i've made it this far

infatuated with this dream of love
impassioned with creativity
and a solid outlet
not stuck at home
crying about the same old burned feelings

and yes. maybe there is a crush.
maybe slight feelings for a person
who is out of reach
too far away
to be tugged
into these hopeless arms

when i was a sophomore
i was happy with who i was becoming
and now i'm a bit disappointed
at how i have let myself lose that happiness
and had it replaced with

infatuation.
* ex. "oh i'm just infatuated" or "it is just an infatuation"
written march 19 2021 at 11 pm in my notes app
i couldn't get the word out of my mind and so i looked it up and the words spilled out of me (and yes it might be loosely based on someone in my life
btw "the more you know about..." is the actual title. i just felt like there should be a TW considering the reference to ending my life early in the poem
Krizel Grace Nov 2020
Numb of the pain from the thousand cuts all over her skin down to her bones
Blinded by the blood stained cloth tied around her head, covering her eyes.

He then came, with a beating heart on his palmー
A remedy he thought she needed
He bled to revive the polluted ocean submerging her soul.

But as she scream for oxygen to breathe,
She unconsciously dragged him below until he drowned beneath her tears

Too late for her to realize,
He devoured the night just to give her daylight.

ーkg
Elin Roberts Nov 2020
it hits me in waves
funny to think that one day someone who's there
suddenly isn't
you wake up and keep living, yet they don't

and it isn't fair

i see her face in photos, in memories
we go through the motions
trying to find a mundane sense of normality
people don't realise it's the little things that'll get you

walking through the door, seeing her shoes

never to be worn again

the postman, obliviously dropping a harsh reality

through the slit in the door

i look around
seeing reminders of all i've lost etched everywhere
in everything
my fathers home is my mothers creation
heart and soul blatantly poured into all, an unknowing invasion
every nook and cranny
every angle and decoration
it SCREAMS the loss of her humanity

it's funny that songs frequently heard throughout my life
suddenly resonate with my pain
their lyrics fill me with a remembrance of you
no longer do i take their words for granted

joni mitchell, belting carey and a case of you
paul simon, my first concert at hyde park, the sky clear as crystal blue
bjork, in all her raw beauty, confirming all that i was certain i knew

do you remember us singing till our voices cracked
desperate with the need of wanting more?

you taught more lessons than you saw

i remember the sentences that lead to the end of your story
your tired lips, they tried so hard to mumble nonsensical spatters of loving farewells

as you slept
me sat by your side
your hand in mine

unable to shake the feeling of certainty
that we would never meet again
and god, did it break my heart
when my doubt proved me right

i took your hand and i cried
****, lord knows part of me died
i tried so hard to clutch on to the memories we'd never have
the possibility of all that wold never be
as i heard you mutter your last goodbyes

your last words were 'you're such a good girl, i love you so'
and at least i know that you know
my love for you has no bounds

and i hope at least in some universe, and in some way
you'll finally be reunited with faye
your soul and the energy it provides
or whatever it is that we are made of

will finally lay itself to rest
cos **** life
**** its unwarranted test
all we can do is try our best

and that's what you've shown me to do

so, mum, i guess this is how i'm trying to say

my lord how i'll miss you
i miss my mum more than words can describe
basil Oct 2020

my coat buttons rolled down the drain on 4th street
i watched them as they were carried away by wind and rain
the ring on my left hand got caught in between the couch cushions
i left it tangled up in the coffee-stained threads
records go on playing until silence fills the room
i don't even take the needle off

but i wish i were the buttons, the ring
i wish i could put the record away

i just want to want something

i feel like an apple core
Angela Rose Oct 2020
Of course you found out you love me now
Of course you want me when someone else has me

Of course you realize you want to be with me now
Of course you promise you will prove you're true and real

Of course the timing is off
Of course fate threw us another out of reach curve ball

Because, what do we have together anyway besides bad timing?
Average Dreamer Sep 2020
i am stuck
to many people
too big too much too loud
a stray elbow, a well intended touch
too much
too MUCH
don't see me break down
don't touch me
don't hear me
don't feel me
don't feel
don't touch me don't touch me
don't touch dont touch DONT TOUCH ME
ITS TOO MUCH
we've all been here. been crammed in a car for too long or at a party that you're tired of. thought it needed a poem. i'm plenty social but when i've had enough i've had enough y'know
Tabbitha Erceg Sep 2020
At twenty years old
I feel like I have lived more lives
Then anyone should ever be permitted too.
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