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Jon-Luc 2h
Do you wish to feel my last breath?
Take it and be its vagabond.
Sigh to know it's accomplished, will you let me leave?
Allow me to walk with the cold in cloak.
All of you, I smile to.
taking of needs, wants, and wishes,
simply to forget they were pieces of life,
never returned or acknowledged.
May I rest in an empty urn,
These aches are old and I want them as memory.
To an unnamed do I speak now to,
may I look to you, may I die in love?
What I want
In you
Is someone who'd never say
When I grow older, the thing I look forward to most is a best friend who'd never say goodbye. Who'd never leave my life.
Because I'm tired of having to let go of every friend I ever have. Because I leave. I've always left. Moving away. Goodbyes are easier now. But that doesn't make me yearn any less.
tc 19h
i wake up,
drenched in lucid dreaming
trying to hallucinate you in my room
holding buttercups under my chin
to resemble the gold in your eyes
and i’m reminiscent
of a time when peach meant
holding hands in your living room
and the specks of dust would
encircle us as though everything
was trying to show us happiness
and its various forms and so i
held your hand and we danced and
the peach curtains lit up the room.
it was your favourite in the whole
house and i remember how happy
you would get when the sunlight
poured in like flash floods.
i am drenched in lucid dreaming
reminiscent of a time when you took
my hand to hold it;
not to say goodbye.
He said he was drawn to the ocean attracted attached.
Standing in the water, the tide rolling out pulling at his ankles as the sand covered his feet.

Every time they would ask why. The simple answer was this scortched world put the  raging fire in his chest out.

One night as the sea tugged at his ankles he slipped away, like sand through your fingers.
The only thing left behind was his barren foot prints and a note .

Claiming he had found a new world, a space nestled at the bottom under the cold and stormy seas. A new world calm, mute and free.
He wrote goodbye, I love you. Wanting the water be his bed to rest.

You must have found this new world, having fun? Enjoying yourself? Because I haven’t seen you since.
staying up late , missing your voice.
wishing you hadnt made that choice.

the choice to leave , the choice to quit.
the choice that broke my mind a bit.

you gave me heaven then you took it back.
the only thing left was my heart that cracked.

had you tried , we couldve worked.
but you left , and it still hurts.

i know im no good and that im worthless.
theres nothing to do that could make it hurt less.

i sit here , head in my hands.
my mind rummaging through all our old plans.

you sit there, not caring my heart is in flames.
wondering whos the next player in your games.
originally written : 4.17.18
it may not have been about anyone in particular then but it sure as hell is now.
we met at sky high
trapped in different cages
associate with unfamiliar faces
while the others were taking their will
you stood still
the sweetness of cotton candy reminds me of you
I met someone new
the one I hoped you'll never knew
now all of our memories are gone
and your eyes still never met mine
Someone please come collect this soul,
It is ready to take flight.
No longer is its desire to perish
Just a simple plight.

The night will come,
And this soul will be ready,
No more overthinking  
A blade held confident and steady.

Carry it with tender care,
To the depths of hell or heights of heaven.
The blood loss should cover the fare,
And if not, just drop it anywhere.
**Just wishful thinking**
To the teachers who never really cared and ignored my problems;

To my fellow “sluts”, “misfits”, etc. Who will no doubt receive more abuse upon my passing, as my tormentors will no longer have me to push around;

To those who never cared, never spoke, probably never knew my name;

To the one true friend, whose caring was the only thing that prevented this event from happening sooner;

To the God, if he does exist, who chose to play a cruel, cruel joke on me when he placed me where he did and surrounded me with so many uncaring faces;

What about my teachers? Will they be sorry to see another student become a statistic? Certainly the administration and Principal will mourn, as my death will not reflect well on them as an institution. Well, I apologize for making the statistics for your administration worse. But I don’t expect an apology for the false sympathies of people.

As for my fellow students, those who made a more significant impact on my life, I know better than to expect my tormentors to mourn.

There’s another group I have not yet addressed: those not like me who left me alone. Or should I say ignored me. I appreciate you sparing me any further harassment, but your inaction, your withheld hellos and how are you’s  did more hurt than any name calling. Your inaction effectively excluded me from student life, from the human race. You left me isolated and alone, and no words I could say can convey to you the suffering you caused. I could name names, but in doing so, I would do more now for you than you ever did for me in life.

I do not know what awaits me when I get down off this rope. Will there be a void? Or will I come face to face with God? I just don’t care anymore. If you’re anything like your people, I wouldn’t want to know you. You preached to love one another, yet I’ve felt everything except love from Christians. Even if I knew you were different, well, I'd still reject you. You have left your “followers” to treat people like me poorly. You have allowed so many of the people you “love”, including me, to suffer. So you want me to trust you with my life? I don’t want to spend eternity with a careless deity like you, or with the company you keep.

I’m trying to watch TV but I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. I’m so tired of hurting and being alone.

I hope that with my death, there'll be a wider awareness for child abuse and the effects it could have on a person. That's the only wish I have right now. A lot of people will be hurt with my passing, disappointed even, or maybe it won't matter. But I'd like to believe, no matter how much of a fucked up person I am, I died for a cause greater and bigger than myself. That's the only consolation that I have right now.

So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.

Goodbye - T
The embers are dying out
Not a wind whispers
Here, at the end
Wounded and ridden with scars
All I could think of is the shifting
Shadows of your face
I hear the echo of your laughter
I remember the ghost of your smile

Here, at the end
Weak and waiting for the dark
All I see is your eyes
Your kind, gentle eyes

Will you be there, I wonder
When they finally
Let me through
Will you be there
Waiting, and
Waiting for me
All this time?
Daisy Marrow Jul 2013
With sand sinking quickly,
It’s dragging me down and there’s no way of saving me.
You stand and watch me drown in my own river, for now I’m just a skeleton in your closet.

Words of regret you feed me,
But I throw them into the stream because the adventure was so much sweeter.
I told you to just leave me in a pit and wait for the earth to cover me up.
If you so greedily wish to see me again just dig me up.
When I ask to throw me into the sea you were scared of the waves I was to create.
I told you not to worry because if you want to see me again just dive down below.

This life is all I want to remember.
I don’t want to live a future.
You told me if I died you’ll never grow me flowers or cry for my pain.
So I stopped and lived another day for you.

And you told me you have been on the run for decades but never knew why.
So since you know you must keep moving you kissed me in every language you knew,
As our hands parted like passing ships.
Doctor Who
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