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I let myself be in love once
Giddy and gleeful
Not butterflies in my stomach
But warm milk in my belly

I was devoted
I was obedient
I was his.

Until I decided not to be.
Because when you give all yourself over
You lose yourself
And now I have been gone for awhile
I have forgotten how to live

And at times I don’t want to live
It sits on my chest
Weighs down my heart
Until I no longer want to be present
Or have this present from the melancholy king

But I am growing again
And I feel my soul stretch
Like a cat after a cozy afternoon nap
And I am ready
And excited
Oh so excited for what will happen

But for now (and maybe for ever
-fingers crossed)
I do not want to be in love
I do not want to have a lover

For if being in love is a debt
I do not want to be in the business of it
It has nothing to do with me
The Tinkerer Oct 7
To fall in love.
To be kicked and tugged.
To picking up, and moving on.

To stepping forward.
To find courage, within this coward.
To letting go, of what's already gone.
To what's been said, and what's been done.

I take my hopes, and pack 'em.
Close the door, leave through the back an'
Don't turn round. We could see it crackin'.
To leave before it breaks,
Breaks my heart, but it feels like fate.
Tried to have faith, I made mistakes.

I guess that in the end, we took
What we could get, though there's
Still so many loose ends.
Looked for the closure,
I swear, felt it was getting closer.
Thought, we could make amends, make it better, make it to a better end.
I guess by now I've lost my friend.

Seems that now has turned to never.
So whatever. I tried my best.
I failed this test.

Shattered heart, I pick up the pieces.
Few more shards, and I'm back to being jus'
Who I am, who I'm at peace with.

I'd never be the same,
It won't be so seamless.
I look up, maybe one day I'll see
The one I need, my miracle seamstress.

For now, here I leave this.
From a broken heart, to broken trust. To building this friendship up, to realising, it washes a way, just like mud.

I take on the next day. Move on, move along. Take my heavy heart, my heavy mind. I'm alright. I'll be alright. This sadness will leave in time, if anything I've learned, it's that sadness is just like a tide.

- O. Glad you were once a part of my life. Thank you for what you've taught me.
Diary of Jane Sep 25
Win;
At least I don't have to see you with her everyday now.

Loss;
I don't get to see you either, anymore.
Meher Sep 23
Slowly and silently
you slipped out of my conversations
Nights which were once
soaked by tears you gave me
in return of my love
Are peaceful now

I don’t remember you
when I stroll down the memory lanes
the places where
we promised each other forever
You made the moments
that were so precious
Open to every other souls right there
Blamed me of breaking your heart
Chaos around me
But I learned how to make peace with them

Turns out that
My heart doesn’t hurt anymore
When your name is mentioned
I don’t feel the butterflies in my stomach
When I see your smile

I only remember you
When I’m hating myself
Your words like gasoline to my thoughts
You’re only here in my mind
Burning my sanity
When I’m drowning in liquor.
May contain grammatical errors as English is not my first Language
patricia tiu Sep 19
You're the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I felt my self falling for you, and now my heart hurts. You are the sole person in my mind and the only one I want to go to, but I know you need your space to: 1. figure out you, and 2. get over me. I understand. However, this feeling doesn't feel like its going to dissipate. I know time heals all wounds, but as of right now... this wound feels like one time can't fix. It will in due time, but thats the scary thing about the future: I don't know when, and it is killing me. I have no idea what to do. Despite this, I will persevere. This is only temporary! I will move on without losing you. I will be my best self! I can **** it out there and so can you. I got this.
He broke me, however, I still want him.
Rachel Rode Sep 18
warm wood floors
worn smooth from years of work boots and light-up sneakers
the sun shines through the kitchen window
if I squint I can almost see my younger self sitting at the counter
trying on her high school graduation cap for the first time
In this moment I feel both older and younger than I ever have before
I close the door to my childhood bedroom for the last time,
and the ache in my chest pulses
but I know it will fade
the pictures are gone from the walls
but the memories remain
the love remains
most of it will follow to our new home
but some will remain here a while longer,
warming the space and recalling the lives it once held
Will I be stuck in the past forever?
I miss
when it was
just you and
I.
With birthdays passing by I remember the good times when we were each other's go to person. What happened?
leo arden Sep 16
are you doing,

or are you overthinking?

are you progressing,

or are you moving?

are you living,

or are you worrying?

do some.

progress more.

live.
"never confuse movement with progress"
          -- Denzel Washington
inthewater Sep 10
who's so different now?
is it you or i?
who actually lost the person they knew?
was it i or you?

not quite a stranger yet
just someone i no longer know
best friends not two weeks back
it's funny how these things go

thought i'd never lose your love
at least, you told me so
but you needed to make your decision
and now i need to grow
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