The time is so different when you are in love They might be silent and you never told them what happened You had met strangers before and got a relationship with them They are in love with you, and yeah, you are also in love with them You were going on a date Kissing them Hugging them Spending your time as long as you could do to yourself Loving them as far as you could give to them a love itself You had so many beautiful days all the time when you were in love You were happy, and you deserved to be happy One week you did One month you did One year you did And after, and after But in one moment both of you felt bad and it was going to be mad You broke your heart by trying to forget what you loved before You tried, then you would say to yourself “I hate growing up” “I just want to be a kid all the time” “I won’t be falling in love again, it hurts” That’s statement might be unspoken But yeah, maybe everyone thinks about it at once
Indonesia, 17th September 2021 Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
your image flickers in the dark, you are so distant, yet so close. i raise my hand to stroke your hair, i try to hold this lifeless ghost, but the illusion fades away and leaves my loneliness exposed. your image flickers in the dark, you are so distant, yet so close.
I sat in a pool of tears And felt an emptiness inside, They said it would come in waves And I was crashing against the tides. For losing those you love There is no greater suffering, But what is grief If not love, persevering.
once I was a child but I was never innocent because when my father told me he loved me he did it with a leather belt and a buckle that gleamed each time it struck my already knowing body pounding out years of masculine entitlement I knew there were words he had heard his whole life and in my blistered skin lied the understanding women are less best when subservient and quiet so quiet I was while I buried my head in freshly washed soft sheets and tried to forget that this person who hated me so well also soothed me to sleep told me I was beautiful and that I could do anything so quiet I was he couldn't hear me scream scream for the pain scream for the mother who wasn't opening the door to come rescue me once I was a child but I was never innocent
why would you break my heart into a million of pieces? Wasn't you the one who promised me that you would never leave my side? Now I'm left alone and the sharp pieces of my broken heart are starting to damage my innocent soul. My soul is bleeding. Can't handle it no longer. Will I die from loss of blood? Am I my own savior now?
I miss the solace of your blue and citrine eyes the anxious twist of the zephyrs in my core Stilled near you, Standing in cool shadows beneath an oak— The heart tree your parents Planted when you were born still mewling as white coats pricked your tiny feet The hunger they induced that never quite left you. Still, under your branches I was safe.
I remember the night Lachesis plucked a few more inches From her spool And you wrapped them around your finger Driven by ****** of dread Drew me into your arms, clinging to the spaces between my hips and ribs Whispering into the curve of my neck that if you released me into starlight Erebus would ****** me away from you. And I had not doubted that you loved me But feeling your caged panic I learned the wings of your heart were strong enough to bend mine.
In the dark I am more skittish now Untangling our threads I unraveled the Moirai’s veil. Alone, I am under the crimson eye of too many men Now that I am not The apple of yours. The Graeae glance down from their mountain Holding their eye above an abyss Words I always wanted said are poisoned by unwanted lips. The restless zephyr in my stomach stirs Searching the nearest escape route. And the softer tint of the world has turned hard again.
But you are still the nearest sanctuary And maybe it is selfish To think of you so But I hope I am still the same For you.