It's true,
It's all true...I'm an addict,
The only thing running through my mind,
"Just one more rail"
"Just one more rail"

You think you can  stop it,
Only facts and this is fact,
We can only keep it at bay,
We all wanna say nay,
Only things you love take the pain away,

I have become a prisoner,
Maybe even a monster,
"Just one more rail"
"Just one more rail"

I thought I needed people,
Now all I need is solitary,
shhh...Did you hear that?
Someone sniffing,
Oh how I wish I was them..

They said it would be fun , I don't understand how

words just want to spill out of my mouth
im using everything i have to hold back
these words hold a lot of weight and i cannot take them back
my heart strings are interlaced with yours
if we pull apart now
          my heart will be  hurt like i hurt yours a few weeks ago
jumping when things get too close is woven into my being
never existed without it but hadnt quite seen it for what it is till recently
i took some time to weave through the jumble that was my heart and thoughts and came to the decision to try and mend our broken pieces  
my winds dont think of others they just simply blow at a moments notice
im sorry i hurt you
but i think i love you

im a mistake
amc 1h

The world is a terrible place
Judging someone because of race
Seeing a face
And looking at it with disgrace
Having choices
We can't choose, but must face
The world is a terrible place

I loved you
You smiled because you knew
Our love grew
Until you broke my heart halfway through
You shattered my expectations i created and drew
My perfect sky blue
Lost its beautiful light hue
Without further adieu
Thank you
For changing my perspective on life anew
The world is a terrible place

it burns like hell
and damnation feels familiar,
there's intimacy in the mistakes we made
and love in our failures
and i wish it was easy to stop caring
damn, it used to be,
it sure as fuck used to be
but here we are

so you can call him all the pretty names
that used to belong to me
and you can shower her with affection
the way you used to do with me

it takes two to tango, or
so the saying goes
so perhaps it's time to start
moving, revising my steps
and i can improvise into my solo

it burns like hell
but that's something i'm used to,
and there's intimacy in all the ways
you've lied and lied and hurt me;
love in our failures
that lingers like a determined scar
so, yes, you can replace me
i can replace you, too
turn that scar into another tattoo so
maybe i can come to love
the pain you left behind

ash 2h

We're coming to our end
It was inevitable
A simple sunset

It's not as painful this time
Perhaps I'm numb to the feeling
To the lies and secrets
Although you aren't the bad guy

And neither am I

The truth used to lie in songs:

Breakeven, I'm falling to pieces..

You're no longer the best part of me

Someone Like You

Is no longer something I wish to find

Say You Love Me

Don't say it, because I don't know if I can believe it

Say Something

Even if you beg me to stay, I'm leaving for myself

These songs used to carry
The truth in every word sung
But now they don't apply
I do but don't know why

Some songs-
They still mean what they always did:


To my Poison, from your Wine.
Nicole 2h

just the other day my mother asked me why i don’t write Happy Things.
i couldn’t produced the words from my tongue to explain that happiness is a firefly hovering just out of reach,
how it sometimes dips
just low enough for my fingertips
to brush its wings
before it soars above my head once again.
i couldn’t figure out how to make her understand that most of my time is spent with my head surrounded by darkness, so that the “happy” moments only appear to be a grey light.
my brain functions at a baseline of a light drizzle and a slight chill spent alone,
where happy can't live because of the possibility of catching the sad.
she wouldn’t believe me when i said that i can’t write Happy Things because i need to drain them of their nectar while their light is still in front of me.
i cannot afford to write Happy Things because then i would never have the chance to experience them as close to fullness as I can.

happy doesn’t linger the way depression can.

tomorrow's thanksgiving,
i've been trying to avoid
thinking about this day
for weeks.

i've lodged the thought of
it out of my head,
i've buried it away
but i can no longer
avoid it.

i don't want to
stare at an empty
place at the table.

four plates,
four forks,
four spoons,
four knives,
four glasses,
instead of five.

having to fill the silence
with questions about
school and post-grad life,
to steer the topic away
from how empty and sad
we feel without you.

at some points,
seven months
feels the same
as one.

time physically passes by,
and the next thing i know,
it's been seven months
rather than three.

it feels subjective to me,
i've been waiting for time
to mend me and my
hurting heart
but the day hasn't

living with the loss
of you will always
even if it's just a bit.

i will stare at
the empty place
tomorrow and wonder
why you had to be taken
from me.

i give thanks for the 21
years i had with you
but they'll never feel like

do they celebrate
thanksgiving in heaven?


                                      So h a  r  d

his heart valve went and

                                                                                                     B u r s t

Zafreen 3h

Take a walk in the rain
Sounds relaxing right?

But it's not

Not when you've been stuck in the rain for seventy-two hours
The sound is soothing at first but slowly drives you crazy
You can't hear the music
You can barely hear anything

It's just you, the water, and that irritating sound

Then the real thunderstorm starts,
The skies darken,
There are bright flashes of lightning just out of your reach
That almost look... happy

The rain pours down in buckets
Your rain coat no longer works
It stopped working a long time ago

Finding your way back to the cabin is the worst
You want to leave and head back but something keeps telling you to stay
Then you go a little crazier

You stay a little longer

When you do get back the cabin is cozy
Hide in some blankets and wait out the storm

Thunderstorms are terrible

But you can't have flowers without the rain

Hope you enjoy!
Luke 4h

Let's retreat where secrets are protected by trust

Let's retreat where dystopia and utopia are no longer envying enemies

Let's retreat where there is no venom found in the fangs of the serpent

Let's retreat where the foundation of our souls don't look like the surface of the moon.  

Let's retreat where fiery ashes turn themselves into a blissful oblivion

Let's retreat where the crystal starry waters quench the thirst of the forsaken

Let's retreat where demons get a bachelors degree in becoming an elegant angle

Let's retreat where dreams our reality and reality is our dreams.

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