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You feel like
A ghastly mist, crawling up my toes
Touching frozen ground as you wrap
The soles of my feet in pasty white.

You feel like
Wet hair seeping through every thread
Of a pillowcase where you rest your head
Cold, warm, cold, warm—uncomfortable.

You feel like
Sore eyes from screens too bright
As you type in bold, black thoughts
A manifesto of the conflicts within.

You feel like
A room with no light, air, and sounds
Stagnancy echoing—the streaks, the blowing, the ringing
Were all dampened, washed out, unheard of.

You feel like
The sudden flash of blindness in the sky
Overlapping the deepest violets with such crisp tear
And they, too, tear as well.

You feel like
An intrusive intrusion of an intruder
An interlude to all the things you've done
An intermission to the tango that has just begun.

You feel like
A stale yet warm yet ugly yet comforting embrace
I wrap around you just to seep in every inch
Of what only you could offer.

You feel like
The last beginning of the endgame
The enshrouding entrance of what is to come
The naked piece of the puzzle
I have yet to grasp fully

You feel like
Bitter goodbyes
Unfiltered eyes
And crimson skies.
what a depressive episode feels like.
I envy the birds
How they spread their wings
And soar through the sky

Not a thought on their mind
Free to fly far away
Let the wind carry them

But here I am locked
In this small gilded cage
And my wings are clipped
maria 1d
I gave you all of me
and you,
you can't even pick up the phone
you make me feel so small
written on September 17, 2021
The time is so different when you are in love
They might be silent and you never told them what happened
You had met strangers before and got a relationship with them
They are in love with you, and yeah, you are also in love with them
You were going on a date
Kissing them
Hugging them
Spending your time as long as you could do to yourself
Loving them as far as you could give to them a love itself
You had so many beautiful days all the time when you were in love
You were happy, and you deserved to be happy
One week you did
One month you did
One year you did
And after, and after
But in one moment both of you felt bad and it was going to be mad
You broke your heart by trying to forget what you loved before
You tried, then you would say to yourself
“I hate growing up”
“I just want to be a kid all the time”
“I won’t be falling in love again, it hurts”
That’s statement might be unspoken
But yeah, maybe everyone thinks about it at once
Indonesia, 17th September 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
your image flickers in the dark,
you are so distant, yet so close.
i raise my hand to stroke your hair,
i try to hold this lifeless ghost,
but the illusion fades away
and leaves my loneliness exposed.
your image flickers in the dark,
you are so distant, yet so close.
FS-30 1d
I sat in a pool of tears
And felt an emptiness inside,
They said it would come in waves
And I was crashing against the tides.
For losing those you love
There is no greater suffering,
But what is grief
If not love, persevering.
Alicia 2d
once I was a child
but I was never innocent
because when my father told me he loved me
he did it with a leather belt
and a buckle that gleamed
each time it struck my already knowing body
pounding out years of masculine entitlement
I knew there were words he had heard his whole life
and in my blistered skin lied the understanding
women are less
best when subservient and quiet
so quiet I was
while I buried my head in freshly washed soft sheets
and tried to forget that this person
who hated me so well
also soothed me to sleep
told me I was beautiful
and that I could do anything
so quiet I was
he couldn't hear me scream
scream for the pain
scream for the mother who wasn't opening the door
to come rescue me
once I was a child
but I was never innocent
why would you break my heart into a million of pieces? Wasn't you the one who promised me that you would never leave my side? Now I'm left alone and the sharp pieces of my broken heart are starting to damage my innocent soul. My soul is bleeding. Can't handle it no longer. Will I die from loss of blood? Am I my own savior now?
you love i....
I miss the solace of your blue and citrine eyes
the anxious twist of the zephyrs in my core
Stilled near you,
Standing in cool shadows beneath an oak—
The heart tree your parents
Planted when you were born
still mewling as white coats pricked your tiny feet
The hunger they induced that never quite left you.
Still, under your branches
I was safe.

I remember the night
Lachesis plucked a few more inches
From her spool
And you wrapped them around your finger
Driven by ****** of dread
Drew me into your arms, clinging to the spaces between my hips and ribs
Whispering into the curve of my neck  
that if you released me into starlight  
Erebus would ****** me away from you.  
And I had not doubted that you loved me
But feeling your caged panic
I learned the wings of your heart were strong enough to bend mine.

In the dark I am more skittish now
Untangling our threads
I unraveled the Moirai’s veil.
I am under the crimson eye of too many men
Now that I am not
The apple of yours.
The Graeae glance down from their mountain
Holding their eye above an abyss
Words I always wanted said are
poisoned by unwanted lips.
The restless zephyr in my stomach stirs
Searching the nearest escape route.
And the softer tint of the world
has turned hard again.

But you are still the nearest sanctuary
And maybe it is selfish
To think of you so
But I hope I am still the same
For you.
Dorian, See yourself in the glassy white eyes of mine
Know yourself in the painting of little lies of mine

You say that you wish to just disappear someday
If only you could weigh yourself in the silent cries of mine

Fall like cascade from my head to my feet and you will,
trace your name in the skin of arms and thighs of mine

My gentle benign blue ivy flower
Never see through the delighted disguise of mine

Now I sing in the heaven that I got because of you
Ever since you became the utter demise of mine
This was my first attempt at writing a ghazal
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