I've lost a piece of me. No one took it . No one stole it. I just lost it.
A part of me is missing but I don't know which part.
I'm still me I think but something is just off and I can feel it.
I can feel the beating of my heart and I know it's not beating the same.
I'm lacking something and because of that I'm not enough.
I don't know for what but I'm just not enough.
I smile the same. I laugh the same. I cry the same.
Yet, something has changed and I don't know what.
Am I just overthinking this? Am I just not thinking enough?
Is the answer right in front of me? Or is it something I have to dig for?
I surround myself with people I love and call my friends.
Yet, I feel so outed but not for the reasons you think.
I'm there talking to them and joking with them but I'm also not.
It's like I'm watching myself from the outside.
That person they're talking to looks like me and sounds like me but I know its not. The person they're talking to is incomplete. She's someone who doesn't know who she is. She's someone who is awkward just standing there. She doesn't know how to connect and stay connected. That's not the old me. They don't know that. I don't think they even noticed. My family probably does but I think they'll think it's because I'm stressed.
I want to be back to my normal self. I want to feel like my normal self. I want to find what I lost. I want to know what it is so I can keep it in a safe place; so I'll never be incomplete again.
I haven't been feeling like myself lately...