The lakeside cabin was as old as history. The lake itself was ancient. The cabin was in our family for years. None of us knows who built it, all we know is we always have fun there. Playing in the lake all day, staying up late telling ghost stories around a campfire. Many years ago I went back. I couldn't find it. Recently I went with my family and it was back. Maybe it wasn't where I thought it was at first. Maybe it was never there. All I know is we had fun. That's all that mattered, We had fun.
I am just a boy living in an unrealistic world. Unrealistic yet the most real thing I could think of. Full of words that are pictures and pictures are words. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but all you need to paint a picture is three. This is the world I live in, full of expectations verses reality. Where the reality is the expectations and the expectations is not reality. For in this Earth wealth is more and less than status. Wealth is a gateway to education at it's finest while the rest of us learn book to book. We all live paycheck to paycheck. Weather we want to admit it we know it's true. We all live with fears, but those fears just might come true.
There once was a girl I fell in love. I thought that our love was enough. But low and behold she left me dry and fled into the sky. Hair of silver and wings of gold, at least that is how I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. We could have been together even now four years later. still no later did I truly fall, did she start to leave my hall. Into the blinding light of day that how she flew away. Hair of silver wings of gold, at least that is how I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. Her beauty is still untold, diamond eyes and nothing sold. Into the dark of night the moon interrupted her flight with hair of silver and wings of gold, at least that is what I'm told. She flew into the sky so bold, even seven fold. Onward and upward she did go even the clouds did so. In a trail like a bridge, the clouds formed into a ridge. And blocked her path up above they tried. And blocked her path they did. Back down to earth she fell, right into my arms. Oh how I wish to have a girl like that again. Like an fallen angel lost on her way to heaven.
For my whole life I have never truly lived. Many risks not taken and many things mistaken. Every art piece and music score. Every item I have in store. I am left to face myself in death knowing I have done nothing. As the sun of life sets I know that there is night again and with the sun down there is room. Room for a new sun to rise and take its place in the galaxy of life we all come to call home. As the sun rises, the spark of life on Earth is continued through all eternity. What is time? Is it the seconds that pass by, the minutes of our life counting down? The life you share in love with one another? Whatever it may be you choose how you spend it. Alone at home, with people you call family, at the place you call home. Home is not a place you live. Home is where you are with the people you choose to surround yourself with. Who you call your own. Home is not a house, home is family and friends together being themselves. Looking back at it I did not simply do nothing. I belonged to something, I had my home. And you have yours. Where you belong, belongs to you and you to it. I belonged somewhere and now I must leave. In leaving comes emptiness. An emptiness to be filled with new life coming in as I go. And so I say goodbye. In goodbye is reassurance and happiness. Happiness in knowing I have done something. That I can leave knowing I have changed the world. Knowing all there is to know. At the very end of that sunset, I can move on swiftly with care. On to that eternal night bright with the stars in the sky of all the other lights of life. I have done something, I have.
Times and times again I get this ugly temptation To confess my love to you But there are some conditions You have to be alone in your room You also have to be in a good mood Third you must not be armed Preferentially your arms have to be tied Finally I want you to listen to me Until I am satisfied Only then you can speak your mind I will talk about your genesis as the whisperer And mine as a poet The December night when you whispered A ***** little thing you saw, at a party At that point I truly saw you, First time not diluted in the background An orchestra of violins, pianos and trumpets Played as I gazed at you snowed under the lights Standing two stairs above me That night your name was etched on my mind then on my forearm which I will kiss before bed and then in every fibre of my existence I miss those days, when every stranger's face was yours Every voice was mistaken to be yours I shed tears pretty as the mistletoes Because you were cruel You said awful things, you did them too Didn’t understand which way the wind blew For three months I loved you Like my life was dependent on it But then we were separated Deep within me, I was relieved I thought I could escape your curse I didn’t though you came back, harder than before you wanted help which I was glad to do I wanted to latch on to anything that resembled You, you, and you And when the parting was over I came back, but you were still cruel Like you were back in December And at the end of my manifesto I will look into your eyes, and say I still feel the same way
I assume at that point there will be two possibilities You either hate me for life Or you want to end me If I am right, I’d rather have you **** me People often raise eyebrows For how candidly I talk about death They don’t know I fear it, more than they do But sometimes it is a preference Over something else in life So in the name of virtues I permit you to end mine
This is a very personal and autobiographical poem.
This OCD It's killing me I'm a bit dead already (But I won't die)
A normal day I saw a spot on the glass I cleaned it once to sanitize Don't know what touch came to my mind I voice in my head I can't comprehend I wasn't sure of myself So I cleaned it a second time 3rd time out of doubt 4th time to maintain my sanity 15th time it was insanity And I still thought that the glass wasn't cleaned In that moment I became diseased
I heard these voices constantly Dictating me,giving decrees Things I didn't think about Now so hard to live without Thinking of them
Intrusive thoughts Intruders Included Such apparitions It haunts me still And they wouldn't leave (I begged and begged and begged) Such thoughts I could die (But I wouldn't ) I felt like the worst man alive Was I bad Or was I mad It made me insufferably sad
A spot a speck A fallen drop Rendered me paralyzed And I carried out rituals Just to have some respite I cried inside Most difficult to fight To win with your own mind
Internal demons Killing me Using me as their device Too frightened what would others think An academic boy Being possessed I didn't utter a single word Until I was caught It was too much I was obsessed,compelled and disordered
I don't know why I did things I just felt disgusted By the spot the speck Real and imagined I doubted everything Even things I did seconds ago And made crazy theories Of how that speck would **** me slow Rationality thrown out of window Lady Macbeth why won't you go
I confided Couldn't bear Thankfully My parents were there They couldn't understand Why I was acting Such Over silly things But it was real to me It mattered too much
I searched the web To find the cure But thing I read Made me more And more scared Was I forever impaired
I went to the psychiatrist He fed me with some medicines I would be lying if I say they didn't help me But my real fight was with the demons inside me The thoughts Be gone I beg to you be gone I to again become the master of my life
Make your mind stronger still So what if speck landed on you It won't be the end of the world Boy gather will Said mrs psychologist
I tried it was hard To be exposed yet prevent reaction Be obsessed and prevent the compulsion I had panic attacks And emotional outburst Yet I feel Slowly but surely I am getting better
Thank God my family was so considerate I feel for those less fortunate
Mental health is all too real And first step to cure it all Is to talk(please please for God's sake talk)