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What if I told you to stay away?
What if I hurt you?
What would you say?
Truth is I feel frozen inside
Like something essential wilted and died
It's funny because all the love I should be giving you
Is being wasted on the person who broke me in two
Only body and time is what you receive
When heart's been shattered can't wear it on your sleeve
Now when love tries to wiggle underneath my skin
I block it before it has the chance to begin
Or else I will surely pay the price like before
But I am bankrupt
I can't take anymore
My goodness has been stolen by someone else and for that I apologize
Trust issues run all the way to the bone
Though you have told no lies
I thought maybe meeting someone new would somehow relight the missing spark
You do everything right yet for reasons unknown my soul remains hollow and dark
I end most blessings bestowed on my life because I don't deserve relief
Caused problems myself so why should anyone else save me from my grief
Afraid to hear I am needed because I won't live up to expectations
Held captive in chains by ever present limitations
Work hard to accept myself with each one of my flaws
But self-hatred is a toothy beast that bites my self-esteem and gnaws
I used to believe I was beautiful when offered up the compliment
Can't help but wonder where that easy confidence went
I am incapable of self love because I am too broken
Inside the strength it requires will never be awoken
Much less courage it would take to love someone besides myself
I don't bother even reaching because it's stored on too high of a shelf
Sorry but the key to my heart is a treasure you will not find
The best I can do it to let you have a peek within my mind
I could tell you what you want to hear but I would rather simply be real
Let you know from the start I don't have any emotion left to feel
I never really got used to the sensation of being alone
Independence not a familiar quality because I **** when I'm on my own
I wish my favorite moments were memories made with you
Instead of with a person who no longer feels the same way too
It hits when I rise in the morning the hardest and realize again that he is not there
It's not that you are not enough for me
Nobody could ever compare
Was just never able to see clearly though I can tell right from wrong
If he is the devil then in hell I must belong
It hurts to watch you try your best knowing I can't share it back in return
Your admiration is a privilege given though I have done nothing to earn
And dream for a night of a universe free from past regret
There are times I would forfeit all my possessions just to temporarily forget
And break you is the last thing I want to do
But this can only end with one of us black and blue
The aching is inevitable
It's only a matter of time
Force of impact directly proportionate to the distance that we climb
I mean it when I say that I like you very much
Enjoying every second our skin gets to touch
There isn't much sensitivity left here in me
I've shut down my nervous system in order to be free
When all my needs have been neglected and ignored for far too long
Forgot what respect looks like
You treat me right and it seems wrong
Since birth dysfunction is the only home I've ever had
Different ******* up situations
But it never seemed that bad
So now that I am finally faced with something new
I doubt it assuming it has to be too good to be true
Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me
Can't control which direction I feel
Like I am not the one behind the seat with hands on the steering wheel
I want more than anything to fall in love and see my eyes sparkle once more
But my heart is held hostage against my will by the guy I was with before
Maybe it's hard to let down my guard because I don't want it to end the same way
I am wise enough to know by now that  everyone eventually leaves one day
Whether it is by their choice or intervention from fate
Every happily ever after has an expiration date
Combine that with pre-existing insecurities and a truckload full of baggage
And you get an emotionally depleted wreck
Unable to recover from sustained damage
Been months now and wounds haven't yet began to close
I worry they never will
That the hole he left inside of me is a crater no one can fill
Is this emptiness all I'm destined for?
A ghost haunting memories?
Each minute suspended in solitude passes like centuries
Knowing I can't reciprocate everything you willingly provide
Is subconsciously tearing me to bits inside
I won't make you any promises I am unable to keep
Maybe we should call it quits before we get in too deep
Because feelings are overrated
My Dear Poet Mar 19
I have a bag full of money
Filled only with paper notes
it’s not really all that heavy
Infact, It’s so light it often floats
So I’m glad I don’t carry
The weight of the rich
on my back
because life would be so scary
weighed down by a sack
I’d rather be up airy
strung along by a balloon
Flying up like a fairy
Scattering money from the moon
Corey Boiko Feb 25
Do not set one up to fail,
   then let them go (if they do).

Giving love is
    letting one go.
Receiving love is
    one coming home.

Fantasy is having both or
    mistaking half for whole.
ItxNotTrixh Feb 6
she gives her hands
     but shes still left with her head
she gives that too
     but shes still left with her heart
she gives her heart
     but it still hurts like hell
so she gives herself
     and now there's nothing left
     to give.
i actually wrote a poem called “toss” a while back and its basically this poem but instead of the word “give”, it has the word “toss”. the poem always sounded a bit off to me so i decided to change that one word, toss, and now it feels like a whole new poem sheesh. the power of words amirite ?
Memories of my funny friend linger like a faded folded photograph
browned, bent, and battered by time and time zones abounding
but even that origami polaroid doesn't exist
cause my friend says it's probably haram to take pics

I re-live it
as if you moved away just yesterday
but I gotta admit
your heart moved away yesteryear
or 2 or 3.
deserted me here
with not even a single stinkin' crumpled picture of our rumpled relationship
capsized and cannibalized by re-repeatedly over-granting over here,
and you over there re-repeatedly over-taking
taking me for granted

How much of me have you forgotten...?
ever since you moved across the nation,
with no notion nor appreciation
for the fact that unlike the Nile
communication ought to flow both ways

But I still miss our tangential exchanges
I'm nostalgic for former years, dancing wild
your ad hoc turbans and button nose
So I open up the app
and I ransack
google photos:
seasons and ages of pictures, snaps,
But there are no pictures of you in here
Just like in my life, I can't find you nowhere.
We were best friends for 24 years.
People don't talk about the heartbreak of the friendships that grow toxic over time.
ce-walalang Jan 17
...give back
...give a hand
...give it all
...give more than you could afford
...give your heart then change your mind
...give it time
...give even when it hurts not give up
...give; for wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
hoping they’d see through my trying-hard-barely-there rhyme
stuck in an abyss,
staring down into nothingness
as if it will shine a light,
when you least expect it
lost myself in a manner
it was hard to recover,
with the missing pieces
still at large
but can't give it up,
not yet
I have a long way to go
before I eventually blow
looking for some sunshine
after this punishing snow,
clear as a crystal
while my husky's fur bristle
getting a cup of coffee to go,
its high time for me to grow
more than I ever know,
I feel it is harder
to pull yourself
out of the funk
when you have been down and out,
there is that element of doubt
hindering your next move,
to get out of the abyss
and find yourself in a place
surrounded by love and hope
sometimes even your heart can't cope
simply because it ain't used to it,
but this time I shall submit
to a higher belief
that everything is gonna be alright
give my future self a chance,
a chance at redemption
to take responsibility
for myself
and those around me,
a chance to start over
and rise again.
One from the archives.
𝐀𝖓𝖓𝖆 Dec 2020
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
I'm cold and terrified
But shining as diamond first carved,
Hell is heaven,
With all of our sins exposed.

So jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you.
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