What if I told you to stay away? What if I hurt you? What would you say? Truth is I feel frozen inside Like something essential wilted and died It's funny because all the love I should be giving you Is being wasted on the person who broke me in two Only body and time is what you receive When heart's been shattered can't wear it on your sleeve Now when love tries to wiggle underneath my skin I block it before it has the chance to begin Or else I will surely pay the price like before But I am bankrupt I can't take anymore My goodness has been stolen by someone else and for that I apologize Trust issues run all the way to the bone Though you have told no lies I thought maybe meeting someone new would somehow relight the missing spark You do everything right yet for reasons unknown my soul remains hollow and dark I end most blessings bestowed on my life because I don't deserve relief Caused problems myself so why should anyone else save me from my grief Afraid to hear I am needed because I won't live up to expectations Held captive in chains by ever present limitations Work hard to accept myself with each one of my flaws But self-hatred is a toothy beast that bites my self-esteem and gnaws I used to believe I was beautiful when offered up the compliment Can't help but wonder where that easy confidence went I am incapable of self love because I am too broken Inside the strength it requires will never be awoken Much less courage it would take to love someone besides myself I don't bother even reaching because it's stored on too high of a shelf Sorry but the key to my heart is a treasure you will not find The best I can do it to let you have a peek within my mind I could tell you what you want to hear but I would rather simply be real Let you know from the start I don't have any emotion left to feel I never really got used to the sensation of being alone Independence not a familiar quality because I **** when I'm on my own I wish my favorite moments were memories made with you Instead of with a person who no longer feels the same way too It hits when I rise in the morning the hardest and realize again that he is not there It's not that you are not enough for me Nobody could ever compare Was just never able to see clearly though I can tell right from wrong If he is the devil then in hell I must belong It hurts to watch you try your best knowing I can't share it back in return Your admiration is a privilege given though I have done nothing to earn And dream for a night of a universe free from past regret There are times I would forfeit all my possessions just to temporarily forget And break you is the last thing I want to do But this can only end with one of us black and blue The aching is inevitable It's only a matter of time Force of impact directly proportionate to the distance that we climb I mean it when I say that I like you very much Enjoying every second our skin gets to touch There isn't much sensitivity left here in me I've shut down my nervous system in order to be free When all my needs have been neglected and ignored for far too long Forgot what respect looks like You treat me right and it seems wrong Since birth dysfunction is the only home I've ever had Different ******* up situations But it never seemed that bad So now that I am finally faced with something new I doubt it assuming it has to be too good to be true Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me Can't control which direction I feel Like I am not the one behind the seat with hands on the steering wheel I want more than anything to fall in love and see my eyes sparkle once more But my heart is held hostage against my will by the guy I was with before Maybe it's hard to let down my guard because I don't want it to end the same way I am wise enough to know by now that everyone eventually leaves one day Whether it is by their choice or intervention from fate Every happily ever after has an expiration date Combine that with pre-existing insecurities and a truckload full of baggage And you get an emotionally depleted wreck Unable to recover from sustained damage Been months now and wounds haven't yet began to close I worry they never will That the hole he left inside of me is a crater no one can fill Is this emptiness all I'm destined for? A ghost haunting memories? Each minute suspended in solitude passes like centuries Knowing I can't reciprocate everything you willingly provide Is subconsciously tearing me to bits inside I won't make you any promises I am unable to keep Maybe we should call it quits before we get in too deep
I have a bag full of money Filled only with paper notes it’s not really all that heavy Infact, It’s so light it often floats So I’m glad I don’t carry The weight of the rich on my back because life would be so scary weighed down by a sack I’d rather be up airy strung along by a balloon Flying up like a fairy Scattering money from the moon
she gives her hands but shes still left with her head she gives that too but shes still left with her heart she gives her heart but it still hurts like hell so she gives herself and now there's nothing left to give.
i actually wrote a poem called “toss” a while back and its basically this poem but instead of the word “give”, it has the word “toss”. the poem always sounded a bit off to me so i decided to change that one word, toss, and now it feels like a whole new poem sheesh. the power of words amirite ?
first: Memories of my funny friend linger like a faded folded photograph browned, bent, and battered by time and time zones abounding but even that origami polaroid doesn't exist cause my friend says it's probably haram to take pics
then: I re-live it as if you moved away just yesterday but I gotta admit your heart moved away yesteryear or 2 or 3. deserted me here with not even a single stinkin' crumpled picture of our rumpled relationship capsized and cannibalized by re-repeatedly over-granting over here, and you over there re-repeatedly over-taking taking me for granted
next: How much of me have you forgotten...? ever since you moved across the nation, with no notion nor appreciation for the fact that unlike the Nile communication ought to flow both ways
now: But I still miss our tangential exchanges I'm nostalgic for former years, dancing wild your ad hoc turbans and button nose So I open up the app and I ransack google photos: seasons and ages of pictures, snaps, But there are no pictures of you in here Just like in my life, I can't find you nowhere.
We were best friends for 24 years. People don't talk about the heartbreak of the friendships that grow toxic over time.
...give back ...give a hand ...give it all ...give more than you could afford ...give your heart then change your mind ...give it time ...give even when it hurts ...do not give up ...give; for wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
hoping they’d see through my trying-hard-barely-there rhyme
stuck in an abyss, staring down into nothingness as if it will shine a light, when you least expect it lost myself in a manner it was hard to recover, with the missing pieces still at large but can't give it up, not yet I have a long way to go before I eventually blow looking for some sunshine after this punishing snow, clear as a crystal while my husky's fur bristle getting a cup of coffee to go, its high time for me to grow more than I ever know, I feel it is harder to pull yourself out of the funk when you have been down and out, there is that element of doubt hindering your next move, to get out of the abyss and find yourself in a place surrounded by love and hope sometimes even your heart can't cope simply because it ain't used to it, but this time I shall submit to a higher belief that everything is gonna be alright give my future self a chance, a chance at redemption to take responsibility for myself and those around me, a chance to start over fail and rise again.