I travel through your brain waves
The static distorts your words
Emotions blow like pollen
Creating opposite reactions

Years of being a recipient
Finally I’m immune
‘‘Tis all fleeting you see
Shallow and brief engagements

What I seek was never outside
Never inside another either
‘‘Twas always beyond you and I
Somewhere deep and far

You could look inside yourself again
And again, and again, and again
But you will still see you,
despite what you will do.

You could cry and scream for hours on end
and you could put on a mask and play pretend
but by the end, when you check your path
all you see is a circular track.

If you try to change who you are
it will not make any permanent scar
all it will do is make a shallow cut
that can be mended, without any "but"

You could harm yourself
and never cry for help
you could cut yourself off
but you'd still be of the same stuff.

The issue is not who you are.
It is also not an inescapable pit of tar.

The issue is who you think you are,
and what you think you're worth.

Because you don't look past the person you hate.
To the perfect being beneath.

the suffering now,
will soon be mere feelings,
you will not matter anymore,
and
that is what terrifies me,
a me, who does not love you,
it has been so long,
since I met that me.

One day at a time I fight the urge that is anger and frustration.
I dream of the day I am free from the demands of those around me.
One day at a time I try saving myself from the down fall that emotions bring and the emotions of others who try to **** the life force out of you, thinking they have a right to your energy.
I dream of the day of freedom from those who 'call themselves my friends'.
One day at a time I cry a little less because my soul is slowly healing from the damage of those who 'claim to love me'.
I dream of the day when someone loves me for me.
One day at a time I grow strong and smarter everyday.
One day at a time I grow tired of the tears and liars of those around me.
One day at a time I find myself again.

Give yourself
The same love
You give others

One day
I was asked by someone
How I was so unique
And perfect
And "me".
Well I thought
You curse yourself in your sleep
For every little mistake you make
And trace the imperfections on your skin
To make soothe the perfectness of my flaws
Then you copy my moves
From the way I swing my hands when I walk
To the little noises I make
And the way I laugh falsely
After that
Mirror my hair
My dark clothes
The mask that hides my face
From people who can slither their way in
To the cracks and splits in my disguise
So they can find out my insecurities
Mimic my abilities
My hobbies
The people I trust
But you never know
Being a copycat doesn't get you anything
So one day
I was asked
How I was so unique
And perfect
And "me".
Well I said
You can't, you don't, and you won't
Because you were born to be an original
You were born to love what you love
You were born to do what you do
You were born to look how you look
Even if you don't like it
Just like I still can't like my flaws and perfections
You should love yourself
You must love yourself
You can love yourself
No matter where
Who
What
When
You are
Because that is the story
Of how to be you.

This despair and hopelessness
Is making a cozy place in my body

I think about you
Or I water them, they grow slowly
So I can't help but write

I promise too arrange the ink, in a mysterious pattern
That it will become a prayer
For me, for my demons inside.

A prayer isn't a yell, a scream
Loudly;
shivering one's spine
This is my cry for help
And I am my hero

Maybe one day I'll stop watering them
Or it will stop eventually
For I will be
Empty