My mind screams louder than my voice An explosion of anger Ruining this sublime grace and beauty Painful currents Flowing in my blood stream On a frequency of endless pace The pain of frustration joins in Faith and logic in battle After countless mantles bought Struggle to struggle to struggle I cannot see your face
This debate Dancing around my brain Dragging me down Into an abyss of endless agony And my faith just almost fails me After nights of endless intercession And daily prayers in tongues I cannot feel your presence
I stretch my ears I raise my face I hear and see Wonders and wonders you have done And I know you’re there Your words surround me The warmth in this biting cold I blink and salty waters you’ve made Like waterfall Cascades down in heavenly designed drops Drenching the bed I once laid I cannot hear you
I am drowning in longing Listen to the yearnings of my heart Speak to me Stop this biting pain in my chest Can you see me? I lift myself in supplication It’s all you For I am small and vulnerable And you are larger than life Show me your face!
You ask me questions, as if your curiosity itself entitled you to the answers. Secrets, which in the simple act of their existence engender in us a fierce protectiveness; We want to shelter them. answers, which before you no one even knew to ask for. “Do I think you’ll judge me for them?” you ask. And of course of course I do. But, how could that be it? Your curiosity doesn’t earn you the right of entry.
Now I have thought about this for a long time but recently I asked and figured it out because I was confused on how it worked You see in the end of Romans eight it tells us That nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus But in Galatians five in the end of verse 21 It says after listing the works of the flesh and that if do such things We will not inherit the kingdom of God I wondered how that could be because it just said in Romans Nothing will or can separate us from the love of God And Galatians that doing the works of the flesh even though we are saved Cannot inherit the kingdom of God But let us go back to Romans but back a chapter to seven It says “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin who dwells within me… Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” So it’s not us? Yes but no because it’s our flesh But if we commit sin and know we are committing it then it sin Because we know the right thing to do but fail to do it But going back to my main thought We can go to first John and it tells us that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” We are confessing our sins to God We are admitting that what we did was wrong We are asking for forgiveness We ask for forgiveness and can still inherit the kingdom of God Why? Because we are his and he calls us each by name in Isaiah It says “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” We are His We are no longer conforming Or we shouldn’t be conforming any longer to this world We became aliens once we let Jesus in He is alive In us We are a new creation the old has gone the new has come So what are you waiting for? Get out there and be different Don’t just say you’re a Christian or a Christ follower Live it out You are a child of God So nothing in all of creation can ****** you away from the hand of God.
When I look upon my life and ask what It's all about I look upon my childhood of abuse and ask the question why I look and see only a life of struggle just to survive each every day I look upon photos of my wife no longer with me She who gave me hope and and a purpose In life I was so unsure of but, It was fate that bought us together And was fate that took her away a fate that gave with one hand an then took away with the other And left me to face this world alone still asking the question why to were I believe there Is no answer
Questions still I find myself asking but knowing there are no answers
It seems the walls that block my vision were once my wishes, my decisions.
Lives seem built upon themselves and where we are, who knows—which floor? How high above, how far below how many more?
And every ceiling thwarts ascent— each one a floor auparavant.
. Auparavant: a French word meaning "previously". . Not all poems survive. I've lost a few and let others go. My current collection of poems is available on Kindle and in paperback. It is called "3201 e's" (that is approximately how many e's are in the manuscript which is a very unpoetic title but a reflection on the creation of poetry by common means.) .
Guess, I'm sorry I cannot forget you All these things that we've been through How can I forget you? When my mind, heart and soul is still you Day and night I cannot deny The thoughts running through my mind And I can't control what's inside Questions keeps knocking in my head Every time when I'm in bed These questions cannot be answer without you Since, it belongs to you
You're becoming unhinged. Searching for answers in the words That were so scrambled they almost came with toast. It's okay. I'll protect this home of ours While you try to rebuild it. I'll take the double edged jade sword That has become your nature, And bury it far away Next to the skeletons, Under the dark corners, And just behind your eyes.