I am in search of something,
I ask my lord for answers.
I believe in destiny,
some prayers go unanswered.
I get down on my knees,
for I am a beggar
and a sinner with special needs
to get me through this weather.
It seems like I am made to do special things
But my calling hasn't come
I pray to my lord for a breakthrough
But I shall wait for answer to come.
a chilling light seeps in
as my restful night
turns gnarled teeth on me.
and in my questioning state,
I dare not leave stones unturned.
I pick, I poke, I tear
under the surface of the sun,
until I not only know the answers,
but hate myself for them.
selling my soul to the devil
may be my only chance of survival.
An ocean. A body of water, a body of movement, a body of what?
A heart. A chamber of love, a chamber of hope, a chamber of what?
A mind. A place of thought, a place of reflection, a place of what?
A question? A way to look?, a way to find?, a way to what!
Lord it's when we reach rock bottom
That we fear we need you the most.
But why don't we care about you
When every thing is going plain sailing.
It feels like we are selfish
and only cling to you when it suits yourself
Forgive us Lord .
For our selfish ways
Teach us to follow you daily.
and find a moment with you.
What will happen
what will be
is something, that's quite new to me
Every given outcome
actions, as my mind, is now, paralyzed
adding ones, and twos
a simple something, that I just can't do
Standing face to face
perplexed and overwrought
caught in eyes so gray
all answers to all questions
as now all of them
Closure came like the Winter.
I expected it but at the same time I was unprepared rushing to find a jacket for this cold that all of a sudden consumed my body.
He didn't have any answers so I learned to fix the locks without him.
I kept his excuses to throw out when Spring came around.
I had to learn to accept the bad days when I was confused and scared and all alone.
I had to learn how to accept that he would never give me the answers I was actually trying to get from myself.
I had to learn how to find the warrior inside me because sometimes love makes you weak and that's okay for a while.
Closure came like the Winter.
It left everything around me dead inside so that I could bloom again in the Spring.
a collection of invisible ink tattoos
scrawled on the surface of my skin,
secrets written on my face,
these hands trace letters
the line of my s
printed on shaking knees,
shine a light on me
and you'll see.
Dreams of misty forests
Keep me walking in my sleep
Searching for the answers
I find only with my feet
Songs of old religions
Sultry scent of old perfumes
Strange fires burn within me
I dance to their ancient tune
Memories and voices
Echoing through my mind
The truth is far stranger
Than any fantasy I may find
Dreams of dancing figures
Haunting every step I take
These songs will keep on singing
Until I am awake
What if all the colors we see are wrong?
What if there is not a difference in skin color or a rainbow?
What if our brain makes up what we see so the world will seem less dull?
What if God is a scientist and our universe is simply an experiment?
What if the air we breath is like water and when people go missing it's because a greater being went fishing and the people who were abducted were just caught and sent back?
What if our lives are just an illusion and we're somewhere in a test tube?
What if extras in movies cause everything that happens in the main character's life?
What if we all die tomorrow?
What if we all live tomorrow?