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Madness whispering loudly
Floating on winds scented breath, I can hear it's seductive call
Blindly leading me down mazes within my uncharted mind
Sanity has misplaced my blue print to a glittered life
In my broken heart it no longer reside

Hatred combat ready, It's fully armed to the teeth
Speaking in oppressive tongues
It craves for me to greedily taste and admit defeat
Chiseling relentlessly at my positivity
my cool resolve alone withstanding the heat
The air around me is toxic and choking  
I'm still grasping to breathe

emotions screaming to break free
it no longer wants to suffer in silence
even it's prayer is cloaked within a plea
waiting for this clouded smoke to dissipate
so finally the world pictured i can truly see.
Madness consumes the idle minds
lets not be blind
we all have those days
when we questioning if we living right
just don't give up the fight
never back down to any strife
if the clouds is all that you see
then lets get creative
and cut this thoughts with a knife.
Nica A Oct 4
... so many times.
so many opportunities, i let pass.
i say, i learned from my past,
but falling down the same hole,
do i ever learn, or do i just fail the same test?
i try. i try but why
do i... rush and develop an attraction
for another girl that i call my crush.
One, two, three people from my past, oh boy did it last?
no. but little by little did it break me.
so now i say i'm done until you came in.
afraid to face the truth
or maybe i'm just a fool.
Steve Page Sep 25
Not horrible, but incredible, not nasty, but dynastic - some fantastic stories (I'm talking histories) - that pre-existed our weary scurries across this all-the-worlds-a-stage, so pay attention to this sometimes sage narrator and you'll be glad you did later on when you find that the story's on repeat and despite calls to the contrary lessons are rarely learnt and once burnt doesn't lead to twice shying away from the danger of descending down frequently encountered pitfalls, so pay attention and you may hear a history that lends itself to self discovery and avoidance of common snares and having to ask - "haven't we passed this way before?"
Will we ever learn.
I'm In Survival mode
Survival mode,  
Trying to thrive in a world
Where many men struggle to live
The Coldness is unforgiven,
Fridgit and Focused
I'm in survival mode

Sometimes your only option is to be strong look around if there's no calvery for you in your current perdicliment it's time to tape into survival mode, to  Muster up strength to take the blows of life Wicked hands, durability in many circumstance here I stand a man on mission, this can't beat me This can't be how I end, I have too much dignity to be broken down so easily,

Built from material of life lessons not a weaken man my mindframe beefeed up, swallow my blood before let go my pride I'm unfraid to die I'm in the grind for mine I'll be fine, beliefs embodied by courage of path pavements trails of effort I'm a hungry beast prowling for Legacy to feast

Entering into my Predator mode a state where easy success chances are slim no room to pity in defeat, no matter how disappointed, frustrated, exhausted, I may be if I'm still able to breath and hold my own I Gotta keep fighting I have to tough through it ignore the fact I'm Hurting what I want out of life is worth it, my faith in GOD even when things ain't perfect patient for a victory that's well desrevant, that if I shall fail then I parish on my own terms facing these harsh conditions

I'm In Survival mode
Survival mode,
Trying to thrive in a world
Where many men struggle to live
The Coldness is unforgiven,
Fridgit and Focused
I'm in survival mode

© Copyright Reserved 2019 by ED RJ.
Donna Bella Sep 22
Mentally I’m drained
And when I say I’m drained
I’m emotionally weak
I’m tired of trying to open myself up to people so they can close down on me
Oh yeah, I’m drained
They play me like tic tac toe
And I let them
I have a father who’s a ghost
And the men I date ghost me too
It’s a pattern I see in men
I can’t love the right one
I can’t view the right one
But I know this because I’m always alone
I sit here and contemplate why I’m not lovable
Why can’t they even see the kindness in my eyes
I wonder if I’m that bad
I want to look from the outside and see what they see
What do I do that’s so bad
Do I breathe weird?
Do I talk to much?
Do I think to much?
It’s a million questions I want to know
But will I ever know?
Do what you like.
Do what make you smile.
Do what makes your happiness. Live your own life.
Enjoyt this.
Appreciate every lesson, every moment.
The moment never come back. This moment just once here and now.
Maybe I should've stayed sober
when you came over
and the lines, walls and words
started to blur,
but in that short skirt that works so well
you had your hand under my shirt
and those evil eyes  that excite  
,unafraid of hurt, that night
someone paid the price

We befriended a bottle for a three day ******
and a sledgehammer hangover had my
brain in the blender
   waving a white straight jacket
in surrender

We'd wake up to a mirrors shameful stare
Mixing love and lust without a care.
In some sort of sinful cocktail,
each and every time our wills would fail
some small part of my broken heart
would merge with hers
as we pretended to be whole,
I let passion poison my soul.

We'd Dance in a drugged induced stupor,
imagining a false future together
so I said that I loved her,
when drugs wore down we fell to the ground
Sweet lies started our slow demise.

She'd say she was fine but I'd find her in tears.
So I held her in my arms while I couldn't feel,
but after being so numb, nothing felt real.
Then she begged me to share
just to show that I care.
So i said it was better to lock myself away
For fear of the words that I needed say

The two years together instead of forever
As you shredded my head apart
And I spitefully tore out your heart.
When we were close
we'd corrode and corrupt
and from a far
we'd suffer in silence

In your pain you fell for someone else,
forcing me to smile while I rot away in side
Tired of passing round the disease that was Blame.
I severed you from my mind and heart
and separately we slowly fell apart.

On the verge of death with a fist
clenching poison
and our body barely breathing we were
Self sabotaging star crossed lovers
with a semi fatal ending
B D Caissie Sep 6
A river of moments pulses through our veins.
Held down solely with anchors and chains.

Life keeps rolling forward, drifting by and by.
As time carries on we continue to try.

Water rises and quickens with inexorable rains.
Rapids bring wisdom our souls collect and attain.

With it faith to drop anchor open our wings and fly.
Steering with heartstrings in the firmament skies.

As I journey through the tracks of life, I lost my train of thought

Emotions avoiding to feel, it's closest touch of feeling, is distraught

Trapped in a whirlwind of unemotional cyclones
Feelings trapped, feelings caught

My essence seeping from my skin daily, I question of fight or flight
Decaying self worth
I fought

Dividing by zero, a bitter chaotic end, life has its lessons, I'm not listening
It comes to nought

I'm married to the darkness, a trial in error, the verdict still out
Im lost in court

A life settled in coin, casket to cross the river to the afterlife
Paid in full with despair
It's bought

I wish this train would return,
Take me with it on it's journey, let my self worth become my companion, I crave it
My escort
Emotions dead inside, I can't feel anymore, even my tears are dry.
It's like the grim reaper forsaken me, even he died.
I blamed you for my flops.
Instead of taking responsibility for my failures.
I know how it feels, it's unpleasant. My life was mess, stress and lessons.
Nobody is perfect, all make mistakes.
You don't have to forgive me, I just want to be honest with myself and with you.
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