and maybe i could swim in your blood like your drugs do,
if you want me to.
i still take lyrics from old folk songs,
and braid them into your hair
sometimes you sing along,
but on most occasions your mind drifts elsewhere.
i really don't mind,
i just wish you'd take me with you,
but you shake your head so violently saying you're just not capable.
it’s fine though
i really don’t care
i just want to be closer than your clothes are
closer than your skin is
closer than your veins are,
if that’s okay.
because i think i love you so much it aches,
so much it pains,
so much that it slowly becomes not okay.
but maybe i could just swim in your blood like your drugs do,
i really really want to.
and love me if that's what you wanna do
Haleigh May 10
In the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.
A lot of you cared, just not enough, I guess. I just can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know? There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors. I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter. And sometimes you stop and realize-some people are just not meant to be in this world. It's just too much for them. Once upon a time you had no clue why one self would want to even think about killing themselves, and now you know way to close and personally for comfort. Literally. People always fucking ask. Always ask "Why did she do it?"  Twenty aspirin, a little slit alongside the veins of the arm, maybe even a bad half hour standing on a roof: We've all had those. And somewhat more dangerous things, like putting a gun in your mouth. But you put it there, you taste it, it's cold and greasy, your finger is on the trigger, and you find that a whole world lies between this moment and the moment you've been planning, when you'll pull the trigger. That world defeats you. You put the gun back in the drawer. You'll have to find another way.
What was that moment like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already tried roofs and guns and aspirins? Or was it just an inspiration? I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin. It was my task: my job for the day. I lined them up on my desk and took them one by one, counting. But it's not the same as what she did. I could have stopped, at ten, or at thirty. And I could have done what I did do, which was go onto the street and faint. Fifty aspirin is a lot of aspirin, but going onto the street and fainting is like putting the gun back in the drawer. Ours was different because she just lit the match. Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that she wanted to kill herself for, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy. But in all reality..What's the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright. But it was truly ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops. And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work, and I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time like I did. I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal; that you're normal. I just really need that from you. You should want that from yourself.
If you read this and like it, give it a like for me?
If you understand, i'm sorry. Stay strong friend.
Ren May 9
I know
that you've been in the darkness
you're feeling beat
you're feeling hopeless
but I need you to keep on going
for me, love.
I know
that the world is bringing you to your knees
that you feel like
you can't take it anymore
but I need you to live,
for me, baby.
I know
that people hate you
they jeer at you
spit at you
call you worthless
But I need you to say
"Fuck them"
for me, darling.
Because you're beautiful
brighter than a star
you mean the world to me
and I need you to stay
for me
for your family
for your friends
we love you,
you bright, shining star.
Kaeli Hearn May 2
You sang me a melody of kindness, of light

You told me it was going to be okay and that loneliness was just a concept

You showed me corners of the world I did not know existed

You built me a fort of comfort, love and joy

You sipped black coffee with me

You twirled me and held me as we danced under the light of the sun

You made me laugh

You would call at 2 a.m. just to say hello

You inspired me to write more

You inspired me to love more

To feel more deeply

You said my soul reminded you of the color yellow -- bright

You always took pictures of the life we had with the Polaroid and said, 'this needs to be captured'

If only you had stayed.
Rutendo May 2
We owe life
To live
In your prime
The world is at your feet
On the downfall
It's you on your feet
Or none at all

So , be there for yourself
Be it prime or downfall
Just something I strongly feel , and so shared here !
She Writes Apr 29
I don’t want to want you
But I need you

I don’t want to stay
But I don’t want to leave you

I can’t live with you
But I don’t want to live without you
eli Apr 29
i need you
my heart beats for you
every second i fall for you again
and again
and again
and again
i never stop falling for you

you mean so much to me
you mean the world to me
be mine
please
just be mine

i get butterflies when i see you
or hear your voice
or even your name
i get shivers down my spine from the thought of you
the good kind of shivers

i want to see you everyday
i want to be with you all the time
and after spending hours with you
the second you go
i miss you

youre the reason im up all night
and the reason i get up in the morning
i need you in my life

so please
whatever you do
just don't go

please.
22 Apr 28
be careful child
don't touch that hot eye
red
and smoltering

shades of shadows seeping,
like hot tar.
jerk away,
before the brightness of mirth is replaced.

sweet child, hide.
hide, beneath the morning light.
let it guide your feet
to a dance... to a dance.

unlike me.

LW ©
julianna Apr 27
Some say I'm too young to be sad
Some say I'm too young to be nervous,
But at 6 years old I developed signs, but never did I show them
I have anxiety disorder, so my perception is awry
I hear noises when I'm home alone and think I'm gonna die.
My brain is on a high alert, a constant back-round noise
But sometimes light shines through the grey, so I will
keep on going.
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