when I was angry, I was unstoppable
with fire in my veins I felt like I could move mountains if I just believed it hard enough
I was so capable
and so delicate
I was so scared
and so strong
when I was mad, I was motivated
with pain came beautiful triumphs
I was so ashamed
and so proud
I was so embarrassed
and so confident
when I am not angry anymore, I am incapable
without fire in my soul, I don’t believe I can get up out of bed
I am so happy
and so sad
I am so comfortable
and so confused

Encontrar sempre  teu terno sorriso,
É  tudo o que eu preciso.
Parece que Deus criador te fez vida e só amor.
Canto em Hino de louvor!
Possa eu viver sempre contigo ,
No Céu,  na terra , no paraíso...


Deus com teu corpo e alma me abençoou ,
Da roseira a mais bela rosa brotou.
Me aconchego no teu carinho desmedido,
E com teu calor viva adormecido,
Amando tudo com teu porto de abrigo.


Mãe és tu minha Mãe suave com frio, calor, com a doce brisa...
Saudade das saudades a mais querida.!
Posso eu viver sempre no teu regaço,
Sendo doce beijo, apertado abraço.


Quantos filhos,  filhas não têm amor de ninguém,
Vivem a vida com desdém!
Ousai amar sempre alguém,..
Deixai bater o vento que vêm por bem,
Pois bate devagarinho no rosto de minha Mãe.


Parece que dentro do teu ventre eu vou sempre viver,
Deitado nos teus braços quero adormecer.
De manhã acordar com a madrugada,
E morrer contigo de mão dada.


Mãe,  amor

anxiously pacing
smoking cigarettes
to just get away
alone in a crowd
crowded by memories
when alone
i beg for mercy
but like prayers
i'll never have answers
drink to sleep
pills to not dream

I don’t mean to
and I will probably never completely stop feeling this way,
but so much of me is.. angry
It comes out in all forms for me
my 28 year almost 29 year old self still feels like that defensive little girl I was when I was 8
the one who wished to be someone else, anywhere else where being happy lived
so much time has passed and I find myself making the same mistakes I was falling into when I first thought about dying
now I’m angry for the version of myself I never got to be because now it’s too late and I’ll never really know
if I would have been trustworthy and smart
if I would have thought of myself as beautiful and strong
if I would have felt like I was capable
Instead I’m stuck being an angry 8 year old who doesn't know how to control herself

those rainy day, gloomy doom moods still hit me,
the adrenaline of chasing a high even if it’s no good still gets me,
I still crave those moments of breaking the barrier and pushing limits,
self sabotage for the fun of it, to be reckless just because we’re here on this planet once,
as far as we know

the Wild in me still has legs that want to run
to feel and taste freedom like I can have whatever I want,
these days she’s just in bed by 8:30 having wild dreams instead

AM I DESTINED TO BE LIKE YOU?
TO BECOME YOU?
IS THIS WHAT YOU’RE PREPARING ME FOR?
THE EVER DUTIFUL WORKAHOLIC,
OH GOD FORBID YOU EVER HAVE SOME PERSONAL FUN!
I AM NOT YOU.
I DON’T WANT THIS LIFE
IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE “PROTECTING” ME FROM?
A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS MISERY?
You will carve every bit of me out,
Piece by piece
Until I am a shell of myself,
Ready to be filled with your idea of a life
I don’t want your life.
Please,
Set me free.

It’s amazing how another human
Can change the way you see.
When you really know somebody else
You’ll find that they’re a “me.”

You find out that the thoughts they have
Are also never ceasing.
And the list of things you learn from them
Will always be increasing.

You learn their inner monologue
As if it were your own,
You hear the fine print of their brain
In their voices pitch and tone.

This person is as detailed
As you know yourself to be.
Their story is as known to them
As the wind is to a tree.

A being who can ponder
Who can think beyond the concrete.
The vast expanse of ideas in one mind
Makes the body seem obsolete.

The depth of all reality,
Something immeasurable,
Is captured in the inner workings
Of this thing that is a soul.

A person who was just someone
Can become much more than “he,” or “she.”
You’ve truly grasped some wisdom
When you see that person as a “me.”

And even more enlightening
Are the thoughts that might occur
When you contemplate that there are
8 billion “Me,”s on this earth.