Do you wanna make love?
Do you wanna make me?
Or do you wanna make both?
Do you want to love me emotionally?
Do you want to sing happy songs to my dark parts?
Do you want to kiss me long and lazy?
Do you want to take my burdens with every blanket you wrap me up in?
Do you want to play with me in front of the open window because we're shameless?
Do you want to tell me stories to soothe my soul?
Do you want to fuck me while the rain comes down all around us?
Tell me, do you?
Because weak are my eyes,
Am one of those backbenchers in classes,
Cracking jokes and breaking the ice,
Upon my lips always a,
I try to be the perfect friend,
Take the blame in the end,
Play lots of sports,
Mastered games of all sorts,
Prefer when a plan is set,
But it's all the face of a card,
That's all a façade,
In reality I'm a mess,
Always high on stress,
An emotional wreck,
Overthink every little thing,
I'm the Joker in a deck,
Unwanted and ignored,
I find joy in being lonely,
For then nobody I can trust,
And words won't hurt me,
I may look strong to see,
But inside I'm very weak,
It makes me sick,
Sadness is a pain,
But in it I feel a dark pleasurable gain,
And it kills me from inside,
It is how I am as a person,
It is my style,
My life now,
For tomorrow is another day,
Before everyone I have to dawn a smile..
Behind your facade of a shining star
I see your fears, your rage and tears
I love you
just the way you are.
I want to kiss your pieces
I want to own your pain
to love even in vain
because you are a shining star
you are my shining star.
Soft yellows swirling,
into funny orange.
into maddening red,
(like your blood)
and it is split all over my keyboard.
Purples spill from your mouth onto your fingertips,
(I can almost here you muttering it)
go fuck yourself.
I kept you chained to the floor
beating on your body like the high tide against the shore
Every blow that fell upon your skin
caused a smile to play upon my lips
and security to encase my heart
You've stopped screaming to be let out
My body aches for a sound from you to confirm my existence
I'd give anything to hear but a whimper from you
that sweet melody of doubt and fear
Your lifeless body haunts my dreams
as part of me dies with you
I beg of you not to leave me alone
You were the beauty in the room
will you stay if I say the whips were but a game
I kept you chained to the floor
your freedom was but a distant thought in the stale air
you malnourished body stood proudly
belittling the years worth of chains
spiting me for having buried you so deep
but my dear,
I'm glad that I let you out.
A daunting abyss
Where one reminds themselves of loneliness
Bliss becomes a wish
Where a dish is served cold
It becomes spoiled covered in mold
Scold one soul
Until no longer bold
Spiraling out of control
No one to console
Future foretold by a power
When I was six years old
Duplicitous with one's reality
Life symbolizes a formality
Waiting for the formaldehyde to be injected into me
You get sunshine and hot coffee.
While I'm stuck with cloudy skies and an empty stomach.
My mother never taught me anything about falling in love or how to water a dying plant, but growing up in the dark made me realize that crying into your pillow at two in the morning doesn't make you weak. And laughing so hard that your bones ache, doesn't make you whole.
But sometimes I find myself crying or laughing while hoping that you miss me.
Sometimes I even convince myself that you do.
Even if I know that you don't.