You have no clue what I went through.

Crying on the bathroom floor,
explaining to my mom
everything I had hidden from her
for the past few months.

Weeping for hours and deciding to compose
the hardest letter I ever had to write.

Sobbing because I thought I'd never
speak to him again.

But then crying tears of joy
when he finally came back.

A few days after, dying on the inside
because he left again,
but seeing his name pop up
on my screen after another month,
wondering what I should do
and deciding to reply and

finally

tears slowly falling from my eye
as I faced the fact that I had to say
goodbye.

Words are like flowers
Ephemeral and beautiful
But cut short is their life
Once they leave the lips
It becomes the duty of action
To animate them into fruition
With persistence and grace
To keep them alive long after they’re spoken
And seasons change

From the falling of leaves
To the settling of snow
Trapped in winters grip
‘Til spring came to thaw
We’ve spoken many words
Fleeting and playful
With passion to match

Much like the flower
Flames can be evanescent
If left unattended
Yet in your absence
The light abounds

Summers soft warmth
Will hold us tight
As we hold each other
And brace for the chilled breeze of fall
To blow us back to October
To our first hellos
Without goodbye in sight

I do eat people
sometimes, they escape
they knock at the door
impatiently tapping my
the oak wood, their feet
humming a tune
that is completely,
utterly empty

I am locked up in the mad house
and for good reason too
When I let people in,
I close the door
When you step through
the doorway
I
Can't
Wait
any longer.

noww it  begins

'how are you doing?' you ask
beautifully getting over you.

Today I'm in awe
Like great miracles
Perfomed a decade ago
That left prophet Habakkuk in awe

Today I tremble down to my knees
Like the Israelites at the red sea
When seeing the impossibilities
Of the sea being divided

As I say goodbye to the roof
That became my umbrella
In the rainy days feeling cold
And gave me warmth

I say goodbye to the house
That became my refuge
And a hiding place
Still I called it Egypt

Goodbye to the place
That denied me peace
But left me in pieces
I couldn't even pace

Today blood
Become thin like water
New relations awaits us
Finally I call it home

and now
becauseofyoubecauseofyou
all i can write
i can't even write
just
wavescrashingwavescrashing
waves of
c h a o t i c p o e t r y