Amanda 5d
I hope someday you see the light
The happiness you're trying to find
Its inside of you, not up in the sky
Definitely not in temporary highs
Though only darkness is there you still try
Stepping closer to an endless night
Tempting fate, unaware of the signs
We were destined to part, maybe you are too blind,
Too wrapped up in your selfish ways
To exit before your body decays
You are covered in cracks and scars
Under the surface do you even know who you are?

HOOK
Flaws hold you captive, you can't get free
You will never become who I wanted you to be
Some things you can't get back, people you pushed away
But its not too late to correct mistakes, not too late to change

I know how hard addiction is, its rarely overcome
All it takes is patience, its a battle many have won
How can you act like youre the only one
Affected by this enslaving drug?
I beat it, you can too if you want
All you have to do is say no and you're done
You're too attatched to the high and the fun
Completely numb, unwilling to run
Or attempt to climb out if the hole you have dug
Now instead of fighting you freely succumb
I dont even recognize the monster youve become

HOOK

I wish I could accept you for
The junkie you are now, but I know in your
Heart there is still good, at your core
Lies something I cherish and adore
I wish you'd realize you're worth more
Than the scores you throw your world away for
You used to be warm and full of love
Despite the fact you were never given enough
It seems like you always give too much
To the ones who don't deserve your touch
You escape the only way you're capable of
By nodding out and shooting up
You say you miss me, that you want me back
We cant materialize the love we once had
You will never get your life on track
Even if you could for awhile, you will soon crack
We have no choice but to live seperate lives
I had to decide it was the right time to divide
Are you happier with heroin, not me,  at your side?
Can you honestly say you're satisfied
With who you have become inside?

HOOK
To my ex, but really goes out to everyone I know addicted tp this Hellish drug..
Patience made me a Queen
when one called me
a slave to my
faith.

I choose who I follow
I choose what I follow
I have a choice as well as will.

But thank you.
Your ignorance and lack of respect has only added to my wisdom.

Life is a marketplace where you meet all sorts of people.
In a world of diversity,
I give all respect.

When one crosses the line,
they aren't worth the time.
Right now,
I'm polishing and shining my crown.
I found myself remembering what someone used to say about me choosing to follow a faith.
And worse, they kept saying it.
So it's not something I will ever forget.
If anything, it fuels me more.
I'm friends with people from all works of life.
Some from the LGBTQ, others are atheists, agnostics, and various cultures.
We may disagree but we all respect each others opinions and not force how we feel into others' head.
But I'm grateful to have walked away from toxic people.
I can focus on me and my dream.
There are pleasant waters.
There are unpleasant waters.
The way you drink can interchange the feel of consumption.
Life is hard


Drown away the sorrow,
Looking forward to a brighter day.
Life may be quite hard now,
But you'll rise above the hurt and pain.
Never let life bring you down;
Don't get too high you'll fade away
And that's a shame for you and me
And that's a shame for you and me.


We die one day, it’s plain to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me.
We fade away, it’s clear to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me.


Fighting fate is fatal.
Some things were not meant to be changed.
Thinking causes headaches; ignore those thoughts,
Don't strain your brain.


Living life is hard sometimes,
But experiences light up the way.
Your path's already written down;
Your fate is sealed, Gods choice is made.
Did he choose right?  God can't be wrong.
Was it his choice to create this song?


We die one day, it’s plain to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me.
We fade away, it’s clear to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me.


So go make a movie, become a star;
Earn lots of cash, buy a new sports car.
Regret today the morning after;
Collect your reward, an Oscar, a Bafta.
A piece of iron, sculptured and shaped;
Become a monkey, in The Planet of the Apes.


Live for fame and hear the applause!
Don't regret your choices; the choices were all yours
And remember on your final resting day;
You chose to choose and that can't be changed.


We die one day, it’s plain to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me.
We fade away, it’s clear to see
And that’s a shame, for you and me
And that’s a shame, for you and me.


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
The Duality of WoMan


I’ve been trying to decide if I am good or bad,
But the truth is I am each in equal yet separate states of mind.


I have been trying to do good and do nothing bad,
But the fact is I am each;
Neither perfect, nor totally flawed and yet I stand here alive.


I hope to do good even if it may seem the wrong choice.
I try to do no wrong, but still I speak, for this is my voice.


I want to be totally healthy and that is ok;
But I also like and need things…
I will find my own way.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
there’s a fictitious line
drawn in the sand
that was devised by the
dreamers of derangement
and yet, the people
have been flattened
by the pressure of days
and shot-gunning beers
of perturbation
over which side to be on,

haranguing each other on whose
to be most righteous and justifiable,
screaming for the favorable result
and the embodiment of paragon
like happiness without wasps

indeterminately,
I sit just on the
sidelines of impartiality,
undisturbed and unaffiliated,
with a sandwich,
a pickle
and a soft drink
as I’m entertained
by the whole process
of circumstances that
the living are engrossed
with occupational hazards,
procuring paltry dollhouses
and terrorized by inconsequential love,
their sinuses have gone haywire
their hemorrhoids have boiled beautifully
and their completely oblivious
to their shortcomings
until they’re rotted and hollowed out
without music
much like the ones
who are under the impression
that they are entitled,
closing their eyes
and waiting for the sun
without distraught or anguish
or animosity or belly aches
and everything remains the same
because they’re hung up on the
accolades of complaint but
never do anything to make it change

the preludes of life are continual
and the possible course of action
are played on the mandolins
of selection,
that could mean becoming
a bank robber,
a suicidal maniac,
a resident at the looney bin,
a Vietnam vet,
a mailman,
a window washer,
a biology teacher,
a well-known plagiarist
even Shakespeare himself,
whom I find to be quite boring,
was known to dabble with plagiarism
and there’s got to be
something better
out there
than becoming
a famous writer
who is vapid and trite
but if it makes you happy
then I strongly encourage
you go ahead and do it
the power of choice
the power of change
is far too often
misrepresented

there’s nothing new under this
intergalactic cloth of ruptured filaments
the species have all reproduced
the mistakes have been made
the crimes have been committed
the accidents have already happened
the songs have already been sung
the stories have already been told
the poems have already been written
and the flies have already rubbed their
dirty grubby legs in the sugar bowl

so let’s rejoice!
rejoice! rejoice!

because the beers never get drunk
in a sober and blasphemous world,
so please excuse me from this poem...
while there’s a surfeit of beer
in the fridge
sitting idle
in their bottles
and not in my belly

you see

the power of choice
the power of change
Aa Harvey May 13
Vacant


Mental exhaustion, burn out, constant confusion.
Fix me; leave me to find a way to a solution.
Juggle many balls in the air and watch them fall.
I crash to the floor, unseen by you all.


Lift me up by letting go.
This balloon needs a break from all the noise.
I used to have the coolness of snow,
Now I am at melting point and I am without choice.


Follow the line with pressure feet;
Crawl through the crowd of demands I must meet.
I accept all charity, but no help seems to be forthcoming.
So alone I fight with the demons inside;
I don’t think I will ever be winning.
I lose my way,
I lose the fight,
As I lose the will to try…


Hollow eyes tell my story;
Vacant space between the ears;
Ever closer to seeing the glory;
Always one step too far, so close, so near,
But so far away from ever succeeding;
I just do not have the understanding.


I just do not have the time
And I certainly do not have the energy.
A state of mind, no place to hide,
My head used to be my sanctuary,
In which I could confide,
But now I cannot…simplify.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 12
Man flu


So exhausted; wide awake.
Every bone in my body aches.
Do not wake up late,
Or stay up late.
You have to work,
So do not be late.
No time for a date,
That hill needs climbing.
Do not forget the silver lining that needs finding.


What good is good if you are selfish?
You don’t have the option to give it a miss.
You cannot risk this golden chance.
Get up and stop sitting on your hands.
Build the plan.
Give thanks.
Be a man.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Haleigh May 10
I didn't ask to be born.
Did I give you permission to have me?
I'm just not cut out for this, really...
I think about suicide constantly
Everyday I question my sanity
Am I okay? Stop starring at me!
You're only worsening my anxiety
They saw me crying.
I don't want them to think that I'm attention-seeking
Because I'm not:
I just have a lot of fucked up thoughts.
One day I'm calm and the next I feel forgot-
Ten: they told me when I grew up I'd be that number
Not someone who's chubby and refuses to go to slumber, part-ies
They were just never for me
But don't get me wrong I tried to participate
Just no one ever really included me unless it was a one-on-one standing
I get it, I'm a fill in.
That's always been my role
Someone who's just there
For when others couldn't be.
That's me.
The girl I'll hit up tomorrow because my other friend is busy
On a new note I'm about to be 15
My parents could kick me
out or disown me
Send me on my way
As if they never had known me
I'll eventually be on my own
That's the point of this right?
To witness someone's life and
Then toss them aside but say
That you'll be there until the end of time?
Right?
Wrong
I always feel that way when
I'm singing this song
Titled: strife
It makes me not want to go on
But it remains
Always in my veins
It tells me to stay
On the worst of days
It triggers me hard
I just want to go away
Just let me already
Why must I stay steady
Can't you tell I'm not sturdy
And just want to yell
At everybody
I'm in tears already
As I pull the cord on this bag
Helium fills my lungs
I no longer feel sad
I laugh continuously
As I'm  being poisoned
I'm mad; crazy
I forgot to write a note
Don't hate me
You all knew me in the past
For a time being
You had your chances with me
There was no right or wrong
I was just always singing a different song
So don't feel bad for my no longer going on
I was never meant to be here
Please. Stay strong.
Happiness is a choice,
Your choice,
Your desire,
Your focus,
If so,what about
Victims of war torn countries,
Seeing your men, women and children die before you.
A country under dictatorship,
Not knowing if you will see the next sunrise for a minor offence.
Abused, abused and abused all your life.
Terminally sick,fighting for the last breadth,
Injustices, corruptions and poverty,
Never a chance to come out of it,
Cause it is willed in your destiny not your choice.
If happiness is a choice who would not take it,
If happiness is a choice
There would be no physicatrists,
no depressions and no suicide,
no shootings, no revenge.
If happiness is a choice bad would not prevail.
Whomever I have loved have left me,
I try to be happy, am I,
This heart of mine just doesn't want to listen.
I tried to find exciting and fun happiness,
I tried to find calm and peaceful happiness,
But there is still a void.
If happiness was a choice no one would pray or remember God.
I just cannot digest that happiness is a choice
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