KAE 2h
“oh baby girl, as in the beginning, as everything has started. turn off your emotions, your feelings, everything. all over again. so you are not going to feel pain, love, sadness like a fool again. do it and we are going to be just the three of us together like the old times. do it and everything is going to be all right, again.”

K said to me.
lilhadi 2h
Me, you, at an aquarium, holding hands & looking at sea turtles
lilhadi 2h
"I want to love you, really I do.
The connection we have is extraordinary, and we both prefer tea over coffee.
But I’ve felt the heartbreak. I’ve been witness to the shattering of friendships, loss of friends, loneliness of the aftermath. And I can’t go through it again.
So call me self-destructive. But I’m not the type to risk it all when I just taped my soul back together."

j. e. b --  ((About Being Afraid to Love))
Handheld, free fall from the devil in the sky.
Whispering appendages,
speaking in tongues as mine knot--
and untie.
The best love of my life
lives in the clouds now.
Free fall from the devil in the sky,
lose all meaning of purpose,
and time.

Nobody can lead you to free.
Not a soul can rescue me
from selfishly induced purgatory.

I'm fine, I'll tell you from time to time,
but I am not believed.
So have faith in me, don't trust me to be true.
You are not the one I love, merely the in lieu.
Summer is always a hard season for me, and being pressured to mourn at a faster rate than is natural for me is causing great harm.

Nobody is your master, least of all your conscience. Be guilt free in your decisions, at least for this summer.
Jack 23h
“It won’t be long now, my child”
A voice boomed from above,
“I will soon welcome you into the next life,
Just take up your sharpened knife”,
“You’ve caused too much pain,” he whispered,
Cradling my head,
“All through life you’ve whimpered”
“It’s about time that you were dead”.

“Why do your eyes pour?”
“All the pain you saw,”
“Trapped in a head at brutal war”
“You have nothing left to live for”.

As tears rolled down my greyed cheek,
So much so i could barely speak,
“No,” I cried out loud, “what about her?”
“I still need to make her my lover”.
Dead man walking
i guess i should’ve
been more careful
what i asked for.

picturing us together
is like picturing the
sun and moon together.

two kindred spirits;
to similar, but so incapable of coming together
i wanna be the couple
that underclassman see
and assume that high school romance
can work out.
i wanna be the couple
taking pictures together
                                           at disney as seniors,
                                           after SAT’s as juniors,
                                           during summer as sophomores,
and i wish we could’ve been the couple
                                           taking first-day pictures as freshman.
i want to help you learn
to love yourself when i’m not there
to love you in person.
i want to laugh uncontrollably
and write poetry;
watch any movie you like.
and l(o/i)ve our best lives
together.
and then when we're famous we can shock everyone from high school when they see we're still together
don't let me be the stand in
to continue conversation lost
my mind has run amuck
and it happens every time we talk
i signed the armistice
with my resentment towards you
and now we're recovering
but my heart is turning blue
and slowly my eyes belong
more and more to you
so my words and my mind
keep in touch
oh how the times have changed
oh how now i feel the pain
of living opposite the window pane
you take my eyes and i'll keep my brain
I had a dream last night it was peaceful
Eternal and redeeming, I hope I am able to revisit it night after night after night

It was a simple one, it was just me and you, being togeather, Its hard to get you out of my head but why would I want to

Your right where you belong
With me and I wouldn't have it any other way
kissing you felt like breathing for the first time
that’s why i didn’t understand why loving you felt like dying
or why holding you left me crying.
if a girl loves a boy
do you think she sees when he's playing her like all his other toys
what about when a girl loves a girl
is it obvious when she's made her her world?
i don't know what love is like for 16 years old's
or why it hurts so much
(why loving you hurts so much)
i'd like to be
no
i'd love to be
the girl you can never let go of
the girl of your dreams
but for some unforeseen reason
you won't let me.
can you imagine me playing you like a love song
every time it comes on?
because i can.
you say there's still so much you can't shake
too many mistakes
is that what we were?
touching you was equivalent to basking in the sun of heaven
that's why i didn't understand why loving you felt like hell
why loving you put me in hell.
and maybe i could let you go
if i found another lover less like you and more like fall leaves dancing from their fall trees
but i'm quite sure that's not at all possible.
i'd like to forget how well your bones fit inside my own
but all these tattoos do nothing but remind me of the path to my home
the path to our home.
one day maybe i'll figure out the correct way to mourn such a loss
but it's hard when you're still living
are you sure you're still living?
i'd like to be
no
i'd love to be
the girl that can finally say she's happy and carefree
but for some unforeseen reason
my mind won't let me.
only fools fall for you
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