I want to kiss the constellations in between us; the ones that hide amidst the places where you and I lay. This bed feels lonelier than it used to, but my heart doesn't beat as slow as it used to. I'd choose your smile over any sunset, (though they are so much prettier when I imagine I am sitting next to you.) Distance doesn't have to be all bad. And love only exists if we let it. So let your petals unfold; I'll be on the next flight out.
I was pretending to be a poet,
to find you
for I felt a warm breeze of rumour
that you lived your pain in a labyrinth of words
floating like an ephemeral phantom
between fiery verses of your own
and dark corners of strange rhymes
as if under a sorcerer's hushed spell
my fate hurtled toward your tempest
now that I've found you
I can stop pretending
neither poet nor storyteller
all I am is a man
writing with ink possessed
in hope you lay eyes one day
on words pregnant with your name.
a veneer of blur
on a sea of strange faces
in a dream
of a dream
I dared to dream
searching for a face
amongst faces I can't see
I sense its coming
the absence of knowing
black void swallowing time
fall through the cracks
a dark comes
to claim its time
as these words fill a page
I wonder if regret
will be for time lost
or what was done
how many hours
will I lose this time
if only I could
find that face
maybe it's too late...
I have always been beckoning
In the streets and classrooms,
In the schools and coachings,
In the soccer goals and chess games.
I have always been searching,
In the lonely evenings and nights,
In the sunny days and afternoons,
In the packed markets and parties.
I have always been so very patient,
In the empty Sundays and holidays,
In the private moments and hours,
In the public places and datings.
But true love was nowhere,
I searched the whole world,
Then I finally had it accepted,
That true love was only twice.
First was when I was born,
To my mother and father,
Second was the rebirth,
In an ICU's rebreather.
It is hard to watch her touch you,
The way you used to touch me,
Her fingertips graze her thigh,
and you smile quietly.
I try to shift my eyes away,
I search the floor for reasons,
If only I could shake the ghost,
Thats been haunting me for seasons.
But you're everywhere i go,
When will this loneliness end?
I hope that you're happy now,
Not having me as your girlfriend.
It's difficult to look at you,
Knowing you'll never look at me,
But this happened for a reason,
We were never meant to be.
I'm scared to know that I'm wasting my time
I'm so scared to realize I'm losing control of my life
I'm scared of commitment, of calling anything mine
I'd be lying if I told you "I'm fine"
Wiping these tables to put some food in my stomach
I'm tired of hearing my folks say "Don't worry, it's coming"
My heart is racing, I'm running to anything other than nothing
Drowning in depression and I'm trying to pull myself above it
I need someone to tell me everything will be okay
Tell me why did everyone I love, went up and faded away?
Am I crossing your mind? Because you've been all up in mine
But I bet if I saw you, I wouldn't know what I would say
Instead of being together with her, I need to get it together
Instead of writing these letters, I want to live to remember
Am I better from my past?
I wonder what I would know
Haunted by a nightmare when I really need let it go
I guess things happen for a reason
Should I have left these things to chance?
My grandma is getting sicker
And I'm never there when I should be
Feeling lost, I guess it runs in the family
Family told me, dreams and passions should always be plan B
How could you judge me if you don't understand me?
Right now everything feels like a do-or-die situation
"Who am I?" Every day I ask myself the same question
You call it nine to five, but I call it suicide
I rather be heartbroken and broke than be labeled as happy
They don't want to understand me cause no one can stand me
It's always the outsiders and not the real friends who end up standing beside me