The person in the mirror isn't me
Why is my right on her left
and her left on my right
She smiles at me
I wouldn't smile at me like that
If i were her
She looks me in the eye
though i never look at others like that
Like i know them
If she knew what i knew about me
She won't want to be me
She wouldn't stay either
But then she's still there
She is the only one here for me
There is no one else
But her, me.
I'm here for me.

I knew I was playing with fire
so why was I so surprised when
I got burned?
He told me to make sure I don't fall
in love with him.
He told me he wasn't comfortable talking.
He told me he wanted to make me happy.
I had cigarette burns up and down my body
and I should've known it would hurt
because you had ones to match.
There's something about tracing over your own skin after someone's touched you.
Almost as if the traces will never disappear,
like the scars from cigarette burns.

This took me so long to write because I couldn't find the words. I still don't know if I have.

Exhausted.
His head slunk into the headrest
in the window seat. A stark contrast
to the eager little engine he could see
clinging to the plane wing; rumbling
with childish excitement.

The trolley back and forth through the isle
a few times. He could wait no longer.
In his backpack a letter sat, with words
from the one he loved.
Hunching back down in his seat he slowly
and nervously unfolded it.
His inhales heavy at his gut,
where after scanning a few lines with his tired eyes,
his heart rocked against his rib cage.
He hadn't finished. He couldn't.
Folding it back up he hunched further forwards
with his head in his hands.

All the burdens of Atlas paled to the strain he felt,
everything dark and everything  a lead weight right now,
he wanted to read the letter to it's end.
Was he strong enough to keep it together.
He wasn't sure.

...He had too!

Opening the letter he continued.
Those last lines.
Tears ran to the exit, the damn walls had fallen.
Like a toddler with a stubbed toe he succumbed to a
hopeless chorus of wailing and sobs.

He was a King in his new life, a ruler of all he surveyed,
something he could never be at home.
Why did things have to fall apart?
How!?

Those last words ringing like a bell
as he lay there like a defeated adversary.
"I love you forever and always"

I've always wondered from afar,
"What if it was me?"
The one beside you on the front seat of your car.

The way you look at her,
Never wanting her to leave you.
And the way you talk about her,
With excitement and delight.

I might have wanted to get in between.
However, I won't so don't be afraid.
This selfish part of me is not to be seen.
For that's the promise I have made.

This is just another unrequited love,
I'm used to it so don't worry.
Just think about her, your one true love.
And if I have to say anything else,


I'm Sorry.

1. Unrequited Love
2. I'm Sorry
Aishah 2d

This summer
You’ll
Graduate and her feet will be here.

This morning
I
Sit and count the hours wasted on tears

in just the last 24 hours.

Last weekend
Mum
Asked her to come home, but nowhere feels like home now.
How does one tell a harsh truth like that to her Mum?

She
Knows.
And unfortunately, she knows it all too well.

It’s awful that she does
But it’s comforting, let’s
her
Know
She will always understand.
She still has her.

Where are you?
Do
You
feel better having obtained that piece of paper?
It is the pursuit of that piece of paper you have made all that more arduous for
her.

It’s in your grip,
though.
Just
like I was.

Congratulations.
It’s all said and
Done.

The price has been paid.
The right party has done very well!
Shame
I can’t say the same for
her.

Edit free brain blasts are seriously therapeutic and I'm getting a slight  comfort sharing my unrefined words like this.

She loves me.
She loves me not.
Does she really love me?
She loves me not.
Is this meant to be?
She loves me not.
Is this what we could be?
She loves me not.
Time isn't for free,
Wasted all my time just to be
Nothing to me.

Falling out of distracting thoughts
he reacquainted with his glare in the mirror;
he'd been somewhere else, undoubtedly lost
in a moment of her.
She too was standing in front of a mirror,
putting her face on, yet the occasion was stained
with an uncharacteristic frown, as if sadness
had found her somehow.

After many anxious intakes of breath,
he reached for the door-keys lain by the trinket box
next to their photograph. He cradled
the apartment keys in his palms for a brief moment,
then went on his way.
She stared at their joyful pictures on her wall,
a shrine with each an expression of love.
She clutched his name on the key fob and left also.

That evening in the restaurant,
her eyes glued to his as intensely as her hands
pursing through the gaps in his fingers;
two sizes too big.
He reciprocated warm heartfelt smiles,
trying to keep it together for both of them.
Circling his thumb gently on pressed fingers.
Her accented cadence a perfume for the ears
and her broken English endearing;
this would all haunt him,
these details tearing at the pit of his stomach
as he languished in the reality
that he has no choice. He must return home.

Over the balcony
wrapped in her anaconda-like arms,
he witnessed her cheeks
tear-staining in the moonlight,
her whimpers battling the lulling tides and cricket chorus.
She crumpled as a strewn napkin against his frame,
before exchanging a kiss;
soft and lovingly endured. The very kiss that wishes
not to end but to stay this way forever.

How melancholy it was in the sea breeze,
to walk among their favourite spot on the beach;
where many an anecdote was told,
many a sweet little nothing shared
and many a glance embraced.
Right now with the hush of salt water
lapping the shore;
their 'Last chance to see' had been studied.
In that instant, both knew
that it couldn't be possible to have
one another again.

They stood for a long while by the waters edge.
Both just as broken,
before becoming ghosts of the scene
and ghosts to each other.

Fallen victim to her words
She brought me into her world
Just let me get lost
Her lies began to seem like the truth
And I ended up blind to her actions
Because I had fallen in love with her
She always gets what she wants
Because of her beauty
So beautiful, that words cannot even begin describe it
She wanted my heart
And so foolishly I gave it to her
A delicate object
which ended up broken
I was warned
But I thought she could change
A lie that I told myself
I guess I made myself her victim

© Katli Mathobela 2017

I took your heart and made it mine
We intertwined our souls so we could connect on a soul level
You are my pride n joy
Lover of my heart
Art in form of a woman
Picasso wishes he had painted
Your presence fills me with joy
And my eyes light up every time I see you
As long as you loves me
Life will be worth living

© Katli Mathobela 2017

He Is On With His As Usual.. LIFE
But He's struggling Even Today..
Sometimes Feels Strong, Sometimes Weak..
This Is He's Least Favorite.. LIFE
He Lost Everything For Some'..
But Why He Did Not Stop He's Tears For You
Love..
He Lost Her In Light..
The Light Of Tears Of Ocean​
As These Memories Stays So Vivid..
Just Like He Can't Remember Stuff From
Last Week..
Those Moments..
They Started To Stare Back At Him...
Moments He Doesn't Remember Them..
But They Remember Him..
As He Just Turn Around.. And There They Are..
STARING..
As This Is He's Least Favorite Life..
   -Pacific_P

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