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i just know that the water is bad.
i just know.
i will never turn that tap on.
cos i just know.
the water.
is.
bad.

~
you gotta have the courage to be terrible at things

^ proof i'm mad brave
Jo Swan 2h
Mum plays a game of hide and seek!
A dangerous game of survival
Where she can not show she is weak,
Even though there’s blood on saliva.
She carries me to a safe house
to flee from an abusive spouse.

In her arms, I sense her despair
For we live in uncertainty.
Must this be the burden we bare?
Always running in urgency
to avoid mum being a battered wife.
Must this be the game of our life
When we play hide and seek!

(c) Jo Swan
I still remember the day you took my hand,
Kissed my forehead,
And told me you didn't love me.
November 13, 2018
#66
they don’t know.
they don’t know.
I tell myself over and over and over.
it’s impossible,
purely impossible,
for one to know my thoughts.
they cannot see me,
they cannot know,
so why is it I hesitate.
this feeling of paranoia,
so strong it drives me to insanity,
bedevils me even now.
I will myself to persuade my mind
that truly they do not know,
cannot know, will not know.
I tremble in the moment,
the ones that debilitate me,
leave me questioning my own reality.
it feels that they’re inside my head,
beckoning me...taunting me.
but I tell myself no, no,
no way in **** can they know.
for surely it is not possible,
for them to see me.
so why do these anxieties plague me,
over things I know they cannot know.
my struggle with mental illness
i've been turned inside out
by this tender emotion i picked up from the ground
it was wet and was wounded  
by senseless gunfire
  
i've been bursting at the seams on my marinated bed
i've been swarmed by the hush of the quiet storm
the warmth of of a soft hand, lost in daylight

my bed
soaked by the pain of an early release  
as hefty stallion hearts spew out their endless past lives    
that couldn't hold for a moment more
for the melody of a thousand moons
crept up on them all on that sunken midnight
that was too close to the places that stay awake

i'm being spun into wool
for blankets that will eventually hold memories
that i will surely turn into
no-man's land
this poem is about being betrayed by the day and by the people that come with that sun rise. I have a lot of moments late at night where i am in a place of utter peace and vulnerability, a place where all of my hearts can speak freely and don't have to be on guard, but when day comes, all the armour has to go back on, just so my body doesn't just crumble to the ground, nor my brain. I've been turned inside out by the beautiful things i find at night and by the experiences and the emotions that come with the night time. It is all about the beauty of the night before the day comes, and how it is rendered useless, until it comes back again.
EP Robles 19h
Petrichor is blue on sad days
sometimes comes back as fire
but on happy wamble it's pink
as a flower

Aglet! Aglet! i tore your
armour now i walk with loose
shoelace!

Only on myleftFoot do i fear
life
AND vagitus speaks clearly
suing me within my heart
cut a star at glabella space
watching the cosmos drink
the memories of all my love
and pain
And she wore natiform on her
chest with a big heart bursting
seeds of flowers one that fell
between her legs and grew a
wild rose that ate me whole
i should be comforted
i should be comforted
i should be arrested

I'm my favorite patient
writing prescription
for mental constipation
burnt like cornicione
but i'm relaxing
and took ferrule stabbing
the tip of my eyes
which hides my burnt brain

:: 07-04-2016 ::
Kyra 20h
There’s a darkness within me

A mass of black and hate

It burdens my mind

It weighs down my arms.



I feel it in my throat

I feel it coat my tongue

It’s grip on my lungs tighten

And my lips twist to harm.



~k.hem
I ask if I’m hurting you
And you don’t know

But I do
I am hurting myself
Stabbing pains in my chest
And a tingle in my hands.
But as it stands,
The thought of the glass shards
Left in my heart
Ripping open your soft soul
And leaving it exposed to the cold
All but freezes me though.
I am terrified of hurting you
And I can tell that I am
Or at least I feel like I am.

I am my own worst enemy
And my own best friend
I’m sorry if that’s exactly who I have or will become for you, too.
K Wolff 1d
I heard it once, spoken, in a hushed tone-
Was I awake to hear these words?
Was i in company or was i alone,
To listen to these words in that hushed tone?

"Do not go silently into the night"

Those words ate into an innocuous soul -
From the time I was young, to the time i was old
Those words lingered with a tenacious hold

I misspent time and felt so much pain
Life felt less the blessing and more a bane
I trudged endless lonely roads
And witnessed relations form and corrode

I existed to exist - obligated to survive
No star of any story, no one to thrive
I was the one who was seen yet unseen
Just another cog functioning in a machine

My words were heard but never heard
My future as futile as my spoken word
Silence fell upon healthy ears
Silence - the one thing we all fear
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