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silas 20h
and over the months,
i have learned
that loving you is like chasing the sun
i hold the thorn bed of your heart
into my own chest
as if it would make me any stronger

loving you is like getting ice cream after it's all melted
like wearing brand new shoes just for the rain to come
like dancing just as the song ends

i will never understand your empty-headed anger
or why i will always be the target of your words
but please understand,
that all i want for you is the best
but the best for you might not be with me

when you're happy
you don't smile, you glow
serenity and innocence radiate from you like light from the sun
sometimes i find it difficult to imagine
that someone so blissfully ignorant turns into a monster
with a few ill-advised words.

and when i breathe in the sweet afternoon smell of spring,
i think about warm hugs and lullabies
flowers filling my lungs
and the revival of life after a long winter
i think about picnics
and all of the things i never brought because you didn't like them

no amount of joy comes without the sadness
do not say you love me if you fear commitment
i imagine, that this way, it would hurt less for the both of us.
for christoPHER, when i used to give a shit
written 1 march, 2018
published 18 september, 2018

the true joy
in being found
is the realization
someone was searching


rob kistner © 2018
Brief contemplation.
Eleni 1d
What can I do?
When I am so smitten for thee-
That the icicles of my past, melt in just
a stare of thine starry eyes.

There is a chasm between Me
and Thouest, which lies a fire so warm,
And bright, it does at once light
the darkest of nights and desires.

What I would give-
to feel thine enamoured heat...
Caressing the knots and scars across my body.
Your kiss is comparable to the smokiest oud and fresh tobacco-
lighting our pyres.

Alas, it is impossible to rhyme in your presence!
I stutter at the fluttering of your individual hairs
standing up to greet
the deity you love most deep.

This vessel is the human alchemy for thee:
The everlasting sycamore cooling beside the sea.
Looking back
Those 'good old days'
Are actually great

They were that great
To still bring smile on my face
And joy in my heart
I have short memory but I am able to remember those 'good old days' and I miss them... Most of them are from my high school days. Some are from college days... I'm just glad to have those memories :)
October love and a delicate signature
singing a spirits humble vow
indigo seasons of air
fuse and tempo with intimacy
veiled in endorsement of nigh
S Rose 2d
They say true happiness
Is like the sun,
Rising—a lark, masking the dark.

Perhaps, but such joy is fleeting…

What’s lasting emotion?
Star in black sky,
Content with flight, through spectral night.
faeri 4d
You're a cup of tea
with extracts of joy and kindness
sweetened with a little
Dance in the rain
Shatter the silence
Embrace all your pain
Conquer your tyrants

Let your fears go
Set your heart free
Run to a new world
Be who you were meant to be
Why should the sun ever set,
Our youthful numbers count each day;
Tell us things we fain forget –
On the path we’ve run throw a ray,
Revealing tasks we have done
Which measure not to our lost time
Wasted in fools’ blissful fun
When wit and strength are in their prime?
Your shadow is behind you
When the sun’s before:
So darkness was behind you
Once a smile you wore!
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