Jobira 3d

A tiny lie, pierced
My ears, and my arteries
With a sharp edged knife
And cut the wires connected
Between my head and my heart

Birds flying under sunlit blue skies
Crowded metro stations at night
A walk in the avenue
Chasing the butterflies

Sharing a kiss that tastes like vanilla
The smoke of your cigarette smells sweet
Fake fur coat over a mini skirt
We're Lolita replicas dressed up as Priscilla

The tears we cry in hotel rooms
Shine like diamonds in a faked card deck
The knife on my skin writes a bloody trademark
On my arm,  your name and 'I love You'

I love You

The sky crackles and I feel the most alone.

Just like that day in the woods.

My special place was off the trail, but he couldn't have known me,

I was so young and such an idiot,

Not everyone is genuine but I was so trusting,

I can still smell the sickening mixture of unfallen rain,his unwashed body, the mud around the creek and salt from my tears.

With every sonic wave from the sky my stomach churns tasting the blood in my mouth from his fist against my tear stained cheeks.

With atmospheric collision I can still feel his callous hands bruising my unwilling body, and scraping against the most tender and private parts of me.

Then the lightning flashes that showed me the rock that somehow ended up in my desperate palms and crashing against his temple

The wind howls and the rain finally starts to fall then, near my belly button burns just like it did when the blade he swung wildly cut me before I could run.

Asthmatic lungs begging to stop running,but I can hear him behind me

Heart beat filling my ears, mind begging me to keep going, his threats pushing me further

Rain falling,body burning, running, I burst through my front door

And then I start to cry.

Rain storms are actually very hard for me to get through, thunder really triggers especially when I'm alone I used to cry in school when it thundered in the weeks after this incident but then I started to internalize it and I'd just be really quiet on those days. Trigger Warning, rape, molestation, violent attaked on a minor.

I was happy once
So happy to be alive
So happy to be me
Now my heart's broken
I'm on the floor
Too scared to push the knife deeper into my skin
When did it all go wrong?
When the people you trusted
The ones supposed to be the most important ones in your life
Are the reason for your devastation
Is it your fault?

The worst time. Not in retrospective, but at that moment, yes
Robert May 20

Sometimes in life,
we're starved of time,
a bloody knife,
without a crime.

When quietly we sit and stare,
with nothing in the world to do,
sometimes we just forget to care,
and cut our lives right into two.

Now time has passed too fast for me,
if only more I could obtain,
but there's no place I'd rather be,
than at the start, again.

Life is short, what if you could start again?

Silver and white,

free me from this chaos
that dims my light.


Silver and white,

punish this girl
who can't seem to do any right.


Silver and white,

take me away
to the dead of night.

Winter Raven Apr 21

It hurts...
Every little reminder
How other people can just forget
But not me
Not anymore
It's all clear now
Clear and sparkly like a knife
Cutting right through to my soul
Exposing my every weakness
Make it stop
Take it out
Now it's bleeding
My weaknesses scattered on the floor
I pick them up
Attempt to put them back
But it hurts
I tried
I still am
But I failed
People are picking them up now
Throwing them at me
They're like their own set of knives
I have to make it stop

Short, crass, to the point
and cutting, so very deep

I've done this way to many times, and each time, the regrets are far more painful, than any wound inflicted. :\
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