Drowned in pills
Her morbid gaze and soulless eyes would send me chills
A relationship empty but a foundation of thrills

Her beauty piercing as to be posey
I just delighted she chose me
Her slightest whim I would mosey
Or she'd batter, bruise, and expose me

Why me I wondered at times
As her white powders were sniffed in reverent lines
Too petrified to ask
Her actions ignominiously grasped

So I left
My feelings undealt, as I wept
And all of my friends were gleaming
But I didn't know what to believe in

C'mon out to the rattled caves
the deep-sea malaise
rested in the grey metamorphs
of an ancient coastal chain

Where Sisyphean slips of tectonic rifts
pull the molding clay
like play-dough
and old rock that turns anew
churned into
great catacomb stele
Babylonian towers far away
from the great
Mesopotamic
interstate

Surrounded by the militant trees
the military sharpness of their pine
quills writing their mark in the dirt
for a hundred turns or so
only to be rearranged
into the great intercontinental soil
Truly
multisolipsistual

And on the aggregate
held open the mists
of the vast expanse of ocean
beyond L.A
and stole the fruits of the tiny parceled condominium rainwater
from distance far away
angry men shouting--
"Give us back our life blood, GOD DAMN YOU!"

Filling the tanks of their fleshomobiles
running around and sweating it out
trading it for cloth and wiping their brow on
brown shirts
perturbed and disobeyed

But that great man with the chin muscatche
brought the rough riders out of their dome
into the frontier, riding trains
Off they go!
Seeking paradise in the sands
and the trees
and the coastal breeze
dreaming
of a world owned and seen
by the world
by man
and by all these things

It would be grand

But that rock has been seen before
in Luarentian islands long ago
or perhaps a great FUJI-SAN of the west coast
worshiped by critters and dinosaurs
You are late to the game, sweet dreamers, you!
These monuments give to honor due
not you,
no sir did you build these things?
did you mold these things
with the patience of a father
with the consequentiality
of the womb
and a motherly affection
for all things true?
the gift is for you,
remember your father's gifts
sweet princes of the earth
because they will outlive you.





And I walk along the stream
stepping upon these little bits of Yosemite
Pulverized mountain rocks
Renal Stones of the diseased
to which the water flushed out deeply
and cured the grey things from all that left them
displeased
hoping for more than just selfies
and sticking it to god's face
laughing at half-dome
climbing it and getting the better of ourselves
Believing we have achieved bliss

When in reality,
there is nothing to this which we can reach.

I mouthed the words while we were lying on your bed
Your fingers tracing my arm
Our faces so close
Our legs so tangled
Your eyes were closed
You tell me I am the only person you feel comfortable talking about 'feelings' with

My arm on your neck
I mouthed the words I don't yet know if I could ever say to your face
I don't know if I will ever understand them enough to
"It's different with you"
"It's never been like this before"
We work so well
You make me so happy
"I'm usually a depressed piece of shit in the summer, but this summer is so different. Not all because of you 'cause that wouldn't be healthy. But you changed something in me."

And I know you're not perfect
And you know I'm not perfect
But together

We're pretty damn close.

On days like this

We could we would should

Wake up super early

Write sweet letters too our creator

Deep breathing stretching

Just for a few till we get lazy

We would get high as mount zion

Cook a buffet of food just for the am

Pages of books would turn
Weeds too burn

Stillness will pervade in us

Bliss love fill every corner of the house

The kids still dead asleep

One wakes up smelling ethnic herbs

Tunes of bob marley find its way

Its way too all rooms

Little spirits awaken

He's the happiest on these days

Especially with you (them)

it always seemed like you could never be mine
always too good for me
always someone better than me for you to love.
until you were mine...
the chase filled my eyes my heart my soul with adoration for you.
but when you finally wanted me to be yours, you wanted the whole world to know
which led me to wonder why you weren't content with just me.
always going to show off to the world what you have
show her off as your latest capture
your greatest possession.
temporarily, as nothing is ever here to stay.
and i present the first damper you put on our relationship.
a month is all we lasted.
i couldn't do it anymore
i lost my best friend pretending he could be my first lover.
or did i lose someone who loved me while i convinced myself he was just a friend.
closure will never be given as i dont know the answers to your questions.
but you dont even know how to ask the questions anymore.
but you still have the ability to snap me in two with a single decision.
and when you move on i can guarantee my heart will ache.
and theres nothing left for me to do
because i was the one to let you go.
and now ill never know what we could have been
because youre right, i gave up too easily.

feeling the breath co-mingle
when our chests are pressed
dancing to the in-and-out-
smitten with rhythm
indignant of dignity

invigorated significance
in figure eights and sycophants

given and taken
hidden to shaken
win it by faking