Which way the wind blows
Why the night falls
Or where it goes,
When adventure calls
My attention grows
Til I drop my pretension
Of depressive prose,
With that said my apprehension
To speak of this romantic tension
Leaves my heart in locked up throes
Its wants and wishes won't be exposed,
I don't know what happens now
Or happened then to bring this out
Why the night falls
Or where it goes
It won't matter I promise, it's what we chose.

My thoughts dance with you
Before I sleep
I'd rather they trip
On tired feet
Into the sound and deep

But before I sleep

Through closed eyes
You float and sway
In a faultless waltz
With my traitorous thoughts
Across the unknit strings
Of my coming dreams

Before I sleep

And I can't gather my thoughts
To look away
Because you stole them
For a dance so beautiful
I may never get the chance
To be alone with my thoughts again
Before I sleep.

Square
Bland
Insubstantial
Brittle

with a kiss
sever the chords of my throat
play a melody while i choke
take my breath
somewhere far away
beneath your skin and your face

i feel 2018
the way we breathe
as our spines collapse
and fall beneath

and i pray
to no one
that you and i
will still be
after all

I cannot explain all the pathetic measures
my eyes will take to avoid your gaze,
all the paths my legs will journey to avoid bumping into you on my way home.
All the ways I knead my hands to the bone and all the toothpick excuses skewering my tongue.
And I cannot explain the way your presence deflates something inside my chest.
I don't know what to do with all that empty space. It echoes.
I fill it with the thimble's worth of pride that I scrape together,
every meager flake of validation I pick from the floor. I shovel slopping handfuls of sawdust
to try and soak up some of the shadows
but everything dissolves in that oily void, green and hideous.
God, it echoes, and everyone hears it.
I muffle it with my radio silence.
I look at you and I see everything I hate about myself
under a microscope.
Every blemish, every scar, every gaping hole
that you lack.
Stop, look. Here. Wrong.
Hear?
I blind myself with radio silence.
I don’t know how to live with an eternal reminder that I am incomplete.
You, and the place you hollowed without even knowing it.
Green and monstrous.
It echoes and everyone hears it.
I love you, but I cannot explain my radio silence.

I dare you.
I dare you to breathe.
I dare you to think.
Think about yourself.
Do something for yourself.
Because you have the rest of your life
to do things for everyone else.