you used to call me
at 11 p.m and tell me,
about how your day was.
then you'll fall asleep
funny how it feels like
you were here, sleeping on my shoulders
and goddamn! i like it very much.
you are gone
and i miss it so much.
i miss you,
-about a girl who doesn't have a home but someone makes her feels that she was a home.
She sits on her bed wondering if she will ever get better.
Ever BE better.
She wonders if her choices and emotions are her fault
Or a product of something deeper.
She stares at herself in the mirror
If her tired eyes were caused by the torrent of tears, or instead, if they were caused by life's tolls.
What she doesn't know,
Is that the only person who sees her in this way
Is only the underdog
Have you ever?
Ever imagined yourself six feet under,
With no light coming from the outside,
With nothing but soil around your last ride,
You saw it coming,
You knew it will be the same ending,
For you, for I, them, him and her,
There's no escape even if you tried harder,
You wasted a day, a month, a year,
Not doing the thing you wanted forever,
Now you regret not doing what might have made you happier,
What might have made you live greater, healthier, longer,
You once have your time in your hands,
But you toyed it uselessly in your palms,
And realizing all of this makes you want to go back,
In that particular time when you still have all the lux,
Luxury to live, laugh and love,
To be happy, lonely and wise,
You made a fool out of yourself,
Spending all you have into a hell disguised as heaven,
Maybe it's true, maybe, maybe what they say is true,
Everything comes flashing back before everything ended for you,
The only happy memories you made, people you loved and hurt,
The people you did not forgave, the people you should have mended.
This is the life before death,
The life I don't want you to meet,
The life, the life you shouldn't kiss.
If only you knew that you are absolutely extraordinary,
My Dear, you are capable of so much
You are better than those broken pieces
Unaware of the power that you contain,
You are able to take control.
So please, forgive me if I stumble and fall
You've started a fire in my soul
Passionate, Raw, and Raging
In a world full of shattered potential
and short-lived moments.
In a world that praises overlooked connections
Take A leap, A step, A chance into the uncertain.
In a sea full of people, people that just pass by in your life; never to be seen again.
Take hold of the ones you cherish and the ones who value you most, because within a blink of an eye,
Your chance could be gone, so will they, and regret will return in an instant.
I try not be dumb
Stubborn and irritating but I'm the youngest
Looking through my black screen of my phone I can't push it back anymore so here's my story
My dad is a liar, a coward and a fuck I never wanted to believe in such things but once he stroked me with words like a bear tearing through flesh I realized
My mom is hopeless , kind, and love sick, she hurts and cries for a love she'll never by a man who will never love her
My sister is a jester and she looks down with disdain on the world like a mad man would in awe
My friends are sings and minstrels I don't fit in and they travel going from place to place I can't keep up
My crush is my longing my hurt and my mirror I will never have not will I cherish him in such love for I am weak
So I'm looking through the black screen on my phone and see myself puffy eyes from crying, dulled copper skin and in my opinion not a waste of oxygen. I know I'm selfish for being in a perfect school. I'm hurt but say nothing. I don't hate my life I just wish it would be better..
when soon really is
if I could still see tomorrow
if I could measure 'forever'
I wonder and wonder and wonder
how this all began
just how would it end
who you were before
I still wonder and wonder and wonder
if it was a blessing
perhaps it's a curse
to where I would go
When I remember you, I wonder...
How long has it been since you've last gone outside?
Routines are the sedatives of all souls
The wild ones whose dreams bedazzle beyond a pillow
But all infallible ones turn the lights down low,
Lean against the window and count the blows.
The world appears to be wide awake -
It's deathly void of color
The lights from the stereo beacon for party goers in the making;
There's something to be said about life from the second floor.
I can't put my finger on it
'Cause you and your vision never make it to the other side of the window
But I don't want to keep stride through clouds of smoke.
listening to the monotone buzz of music
as my mind is trying to comprehend why life is so damn
e v e r y t h i n g
the dips and dives my eyes make as shadows close in
I'm wondering how I even got here
this isn't me
I'm not myself
and even if you kissed me here and now id never fully love you
because you're apart of this illusionist life
you're never going to be who I want you to be
so let's just call it an upside-down kind of love