Why? Why do you have to make me feel like I’m tied down? Tied down to your rules, your wants, and your needs. I have choices too. Opinions unheard, ignored, mocked. I’m one of three daughters, yet you choose me. The only time I’m chosen is so you can make your attempts at manipulating me, taking any sense of freedom I should have over my future, my life, my needs. Denying the chance to let me prove you wrong. You may be right, I have called Wolf too many times but in this case, it’s different. Give me the chance to prove you wrong, to prove that I can do it. That I can be free from this rope that holds me back from what I want. Let me just be independent for once without the need for your so-called supervision and advice. The advice that’s more like scolding and yelling. Darkening my mood, deepening the depression. Your words linger in my head for days upon days. Have you ever taken a chance to stop and think that you may be the reason? The reason I am so desperate to escape, the reason I am dreaming of the day I can be independent.
I know it wasn't what we both wanted. But it felt like there was no other option. I didn't want it to end us, but it felt like we were falling in slow motion. A pit of emotions neither of us could comprehend. Neither of us knew or could work out what we wanted.
But even if we're not as one, there's still a lot of love left. I still see you in my mind when I close my eyes even for just a second. It's sad that we couldn't figure out what we both kept doing wrong. And I miss the way you looked and smiled at me, the way you touched and kissed me, when I laid next to you.
There's still a lot of love left, and I thought it'd be easy to leave it behind. But I guess I was wrong, because I still want you til the end of time.
I wish we could make it work. The way we promised we would do. Because there's still a lot of love left and will forever be for you.
Sooner or later it was bound to happen. I fell for you, Again. In a way I’m quite tired of this dance, Waltzing around, Spinning, dipping, A two step. a salsa. Rhythmic sadness- Tiptoeing love. In a way I wish this love had never happened, I know the impossibility for what I hope for. Yet everyday I just wait for another song In our ballroom of text messages and google docs, The band plays a taunting song- In the key of heartbreak, And timed out to the tempo of our thoughts. Even within our gala the other dancers snicker, For I have no partner, And your love is dancing with another.
I have to start learning about the eastern orthodox church
Subtle changes. But changes none the less. From the way you look at me. To the way you react to me.
Subtle changes. But changes none the less. From the way you stopped kissing me. To the way me kissing you is burden.
Subtle changes. But changes none the less. From the way you don’t seem to need me. To the way you don’t seem to want me.
Yeah I know the changes are subtle. But they are changes none the less. I guess I’m half to blame. Because of how I imagined things would be. I imagined a world where your soul was addicted to mine. I imagined a world where your love for me outweighed your everyday stressors. I imagined a world where my value was at the forefront of your mind. But most importantly I imagined a world where we were equal. Equal in what we give. Equal in what we take. Equal in how hard we love. Equal in how hard we feel. But I’m running 390 meters. While that last 10 seems to be such a burden for your soul. ..but like I said, I’m half to blame. Because I don’t demand my value. I tell you everything is fine while my happiness with you is shattering. I ask for you for consistency, but I allow you to flake every time. I need you to nourish me in how I speak love.. but allow your needs to proceed my own.
Leaving me slowly withering away & becoming the most subtle change of all. But it will be a change none the less.