here i am wanting
poetry waiting for light
please gently touch me

Stick you stickers on a sticky surface
Make sure it cannot come off
Be honest about why you do this
Does it make you feel better when your leg shakes?
Or is it why your leg shakes?

I want to touch the back of your throat
to feel you at your weakest
when I am needing you most.
I want to be in your brain and in your body
like I am the parasite
and you are my host.
Invite me in
the door is shut and
my patience has gone thin.
Everything has it's purpose
down to original sin
you don't have to look so nervous
I only want to be friends.

Be mine, be with me forever
this obsession that grows
you will not successfully sever
until I am done with you
the feast and the pleasure
and I've taken all that I need.
So hungry, I'm all alone
I just want to feed
you are the forbidden fruit
sometimes,
loving feels just like greed.

I want, you want, they want,
in want,
sludging through want,
wading shin-thigh-waist deep,
as we sink-or-swim
this ******* swamp,
with a raised chin
just above this slow loss
of living want.

I want, you want, they want
in a new normal
right state of want.

my mind is greater
than me i just say things now
you do what you want

one of my biggest fears,
the thing that i dare not touch—
hope

and yet, somehow
my fists are bloodied,
my grip bruising

i did deign to hope
held it between my hands:
the fragility of wanting

do not let them see me
here, vulnerable, soft
on my knees

praying or begging,
i may not know
all i know is this:

i have found hope
and it is cruel to me
but i am not letting go