I'm confident, trust me I am,
just when in a new place nothing goes to plan.
I try to approach but still it evokes, a feeling of fear as if I'm going to fall away and never return the same again.
It's hard to trust when I know that I must- I hate being forced into inexplicable sorts- and as sociable as I am, I don't want to make the same mistakes I used to.
I don't want to trust those who'll make me hurt too.
Social anxiety builds when in a situation that you feel you won't make a friend or even an end to the day- a play, the audience sways and you know they want to laugh anyways but God knows you don't want to stay.
Please tell me they won't leave me to lay in my self-dug grave.
Despite my own shock, and mental block, I managed to overcome this shit-stock and socialised- well in my eyes- and am doing just sublime; a lime light I can't fight.
It's as if I've just taken flight for the first time.
But then I think of those who don't have the confifence I have that only grows- I hope they can sore too; within the blue Skys of tranquility.
Knowing that being would others is sometching they can be.
Just be free.
I havent updated in ages and am currently tipsy so I thought I'd let some more feelings spill in writing.