Sharp pain is my life
It spirals and turns
Twisting into knots so complex that only the darkness can be held.
We learn and we love and we live
In a broken world where sorry doesn’t mean I care, and I love you doesn’t mean I’ll stay.
We’re sitting ducks,
Bound to fall from the sky in a shower of faith
And drop faster than air
And smaller than life.
The pain is a full throb,
An ache from a far away life
Past the barriers I’ve built around my stone raging heart.
These walls seem to live and to flow and to breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.

Let your mind and soul collide in a moment of silence where only the crickets will chirp.

For why would you sing in a long broken world.
Why would you swim in a soft little desert?
Why would you fly in a cage made of concrete.

How can we soar without any wings
How can we dream without any snores

What has this world come to, to feel so alone, in a world overpacked, with rooms overfilling.
Yet each one has a heart with a cage made from steel, and the barriers too high to ever break free from.

Farewell me to a place where dreams die, and lay me down, and forever I’ll cry.

But why would you cry in a heaven made perfect?

I'm high in the sky,
looking down on the past,
remembering all the pain.
Seeing how it changed me.

Then, I look all around me,
and see all of us together,
a flock of friends.
We all look at peace.

I look down again,
but this time I see their pain,
not mine.

I fly down,
giving them,
the love they always needed.
When I finally see them smile,
or even just relieved of it all,
I fly away.

When I look down for the last time,
I see them all happy and free,
me along with them,
as we all fly along.

one fair Sunday, air will flow beneath me
I'll fly above palm trees and the blue sea
so when sunrise dethrones the fireflies
I'll be the eagle surfing sapphire skies

but send an angel to teach me blasphemy
as I'm mortal without the chemistry
to soar up and touch heaven’s canopy
God decrees 'humans aren't feathery'

so, rise defiant and grow my wings through
to glide as a jet, one man crew and say ‘I flew’
but when God gets a clue to what we do
he will fire you and strike me through

but not before that fair wind lifts my wings
to see beyond the things fit just for kings

My shoulders relax,
my muscles lighten
as I let go of a load
and say goodbye to the guilt
that had been crumbling inside;
I breath out
and feel the relief
burn down my throat.

In a year I’ll be so light I’ll reach the stars.

I can say I've touched the sun.
The radiation was nothing compared to my salvation.
The sensations welcomed me home.
A place beyond time, beyond one's mind.
I lived what past versions of me never dared
and lost it all in a instant.
So to now stand in the silence of what once burned bright.
I become a fleeting spark, what was once our light.
I chase the whispers of the sun.
Hoping to undo what's already done.
Yearning for the sky to cradle my heart once more
but I am grounded to dirt and grass.
Like a bird, I used to be one with the sky.
I've hit the window too many times.
You clipped my wings.
Why do you still expect me to fly?
Do I keep reaching for what can’t be found,
Or surrender to the weight of the earth beneath the ground?
Am I meant to rise again, to heal, to soar,
Or remain rooted, in the place I implore?