With scrunched and bushy furrowed brow
   I ponder precise circumstances  
   when consciousness got born
Tracing back lineage of self,
   an arbitrary individual unpredictable as the Dow
   Reckoning series of events
   sustained life similar to sowing seed of corn

Ruminating fragile nascent organisms
   at mercy of fate flourished, and how
   Taxing me mind asper each score
   composed bards to toot their own horn
Aware just slightest off beat fluke

   determined from millennia ago or now
   That particular organism,
   whether one celled entity
   or beings that can mourn,
The loss of kindred members –

   food for thought since pledging marital vow
   this poet, whose presence
   a fluke of circumstances possibly torn
At any point in distant past
   rendering me absent unable to utter wow

At what crapshoot of circumstances
   wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
   Cognizant of genealogy
   wove World Wide Web
   following threads back in time

Albeit not more than a couple generations –
   whereby emigrants did flee
   From supposed eastern European swath
   in general finding reason to rhyme

For no reason, just as other creatures
   great or small occupy themselves with glee
   Or just groveling along at
   bare boned knuckle existence without a dime

Less apt to own luxury how Homo sapiens
   purportedly evolved from mon-key
   Whereby harsh ill fate tempts them
   into life of crime
When perhaps riches with kingly figures
   loomed large in family tree

Branching back in the day
   Glorious personalities
   populated genealogy to boot
Twisting tortured destiny somewhere
   in one direction along the killer highway

   Setting stage for rags,
   when august ancestry buried in loot
Yet tis quite frivolous
   bemoaning present woes or even pray

   To win lottery turning attention
   how our ancestral gingko or newt
Dwelt in rich primordial egg drop soup
   wantonly in massive bay

   Inexorably transformed
   (by dint of dice throw) per flora to take root
As well fauna to mutate into species
   and genus on land to assay

Giving rise to variety to an assortment
   of animals and plants
And this one speck of flotsam
   in particular owns a passion for contra dance

Whereby others –
   from massive beasts to self taught amazing ants
Scurry hither and yon to and fro perhaps  
   contemplating genetic grants
To be alive for mere blink of an eye
   all due (in my view) to chance.
I didn't read the news today
I just didn't care what it had to say
I rolled it up and put it away
I'm gonna keep the peace
I've got no reason to cry
I'm not gonna look for a reason why
Let the whole world pass me by
Cause I'm gonna keep the peace

There's enough to fear and dread
Without shoving more shit in your head
So, write it off and go back to bed
There'll be enough time to stress when we're dead.

The days are long and life is short
Facts are things that they all distort
Just gimme sports and the weather report
And I'm gonna keep the peace.
I hope you'll pardon my dismissive tone
As I turn off the TV and silence my phone
But all the bullshit can leave me alone
Cause I'm gonna keep the peace
No news is good news.
It’s only 5:00 o’clock and honestly I just want this day to be over with.
I’m tired of all the lies and all the pain people cause me. Nobody seems to be here today. I just don’t even know what to do or to say except I want this day to be over with.

                              With love,
melanie May 3
in my quiet retreat
I hear your distant steps,
a steady heartbeat that seeks
mine out in the dark.

you can find me
where the fields kiss the sky
and trees are evergreen,
I won't go anywhere
Forever I swing
like a boxer in a ring
but more deftly perhaps
like a pendulum swing

A bouncing ball
I rise and I fall
only moving laterally
to put my head through the wall

This life is a game
where only the insane
could laugh and enjoy
the constant agony and pain

I'm left bloody and raw
From well’s bottom I claw
A presented board game
that is more liking to Saw

My tormentors laugh
while I suffer their wrath
Forget about two choices
I’m in a forest with no paths

No beginning, no end
Nothing received, can not send
Only the thoughts within my head
where I smile and pretend
Written: April 29, 2018

All rights reserved.
Jim Musics Apr 27
I found a place
On higher ground
A big, flat boulder of Canadian granite on a gentle slope
A thick carpet of softest green moss covers it
It rained yesterday, but it will be nice and dry and warm by tomorrow
There are Pileated Woodpeckers building a nest nearby
I shall stretch out, on my back, looking all though the blue
If you're not busy
Come there too
27/30 0.9
Annie Apr 26
In the early morning
The larimar sky
Stretches out
Over the ashes of the night
While the clouds
    Retted stalks of calcite
Do their toucan crosswalk
Over her duckcloth.
And the sun
A golden mattenklopper
Sprays a burst
Of painted flames
On the trees and grass beneath
And life is
Clean and fresh
And ready
For this new day.
For so long
I have been looking away
Looking forward
While my eyes
Might have been
Filled up
With the beauty
Of all
That is
In the here and now.
Furey Apr 26
I can't believe you're beside me
Lying here under the stars
But just for this moment
I'll forget you'll be gone tomorrow
That I have to go to class
That you'll be half a world away
But as long as we're here
I can pretend
That we'll be here forever
That nothing has changed
Closing my eyes
I can dream in your arms one last time
Breath on my neck
Arms around my waist
A smile and a laugh
But just for this moment
You are mine
Loser, scumbag, junkie
These names they all fit
It's the person you are
When you're on that shit
This is not an excuse but
perhaps to explain
the lights might be on
but no one's home in my brain
The shell of myself
the one whom you see
that person, that demon
that creature's not me
It may be living inside of me
and taking up residence
change the person I am
The results are self evident
Like a kid on timeout
I'm pushed to the side
While he takes control
I turn away; Run and hide

Asphyxiated by fear
and humiliation, I drown
But then the day comes
Decide to put my foot down
No more will I take it,
Right now it all stops
Had your time and your fun
but now it's cut off
Like a barroom brawl
it's a destructive sight
But I'm not backing down
I'm making things right

A cancerous plague
You invaded my body
Took control of my mind
Left deteriorated and shoddy
The exterior, a shell
No longer who they knew
The funny guy who was social
Slowly dying, he's through
Such a sorrowful sight
for loved ones and friends
They all tried in their own ways
Thinking his life could end
But you can't help someone
who isn't willing to help himself
Without some will on his part
Could invest all your wealth
But a fool's investment you'd buy
The sole fund that you own
From day one looses value
Bleeds you right to the bone
Like an anchor for life
It's an unbearable weight
Had the best of intentions
Blindly signed a different fate
Wanted to lift up a friend
Watch him fly; Make him soar
Instead you were pushed down
Collapsing straight through the floor

In these situations
I know that it's tough
but self-preservation
is really a must
You love and you care
so it's hard to turn away
It's hard to not help out
when you see him this way
His life always in crisis
Constant agony and pain
But when you think you are "helping"
There's nothing positive to gain
Instead your actions enable
Allowing the cycle to continue
Distance and tough love
are the best things that you can do
If he agrees to go to treatment
Will help him find a place
Similar actions will support
All other issues are his to face
You often have to let them go
Living their life on their own
To make every decision
While their actions set the tone

It's a horrible disease
And a crushing ruthless struggle
Those afflicted do not want it
Like a jester forced to juggle
In this never ending war
Each and every day a battle
Lose themselves within themselves
A can of soda shook and rattled
Taking on another form
Getting dizzy and confused
From inside eaten away
Feel they're always gonna lose

An ultimatum must be met
Proverbial 'last straw' must be placed
As they say, 'hitting rock bottom'
The worst decision must be faced
It's a very scary thought
because you know it could include
emptying his hour glass
Another 'lost soul' gone too soon

But it's only at the Gates of Hell
when he's finally face to face
And all those agonies and pains
Unable to still tolerate
With some grit he garners strength
This is where he makes his stand
Found determination needed
Set a goal; He has a plan

By no means an easy road
There are times you'll have your doubt
Every journey has it's struggles
This one's filled with 'Title Bouts'
But a lightning bolt was cast
Grabbing it with all his might
Must hold on; He can't let it go
When times are tough, stand up and fight
Find that instinct from within
Darwin wrote of its ability
Don't you worry, things get better
Fog gives way for you to see
The road is filled with constant tests
A thousand cuts will leave you scarred
The gauntlet leaves you battle tested
Not many things in life as hard
Not something ever to wish for
but through the journey you will gain
A wisdom and a clarity
An unknown strength from all the pain

All these things are there to take
To the 'normies' it makes sense
Why would you live that life of hell
and choose to be that way instead?
But the addict's brain is different
in the way it operates
Addiction topping any list
And the excuses it creates
Justifying those behaviors
Now it's able to continue
And repeat the vicious cycle
To escape, not many; A few
Leading up to a result
It's the one we all must face
The difference being that the addict
Untimely journey to that place
Their disease will make them do
things they normally would not
Many things you will not know
Sometimes exposed when they get caught
They have a certain look
A scuzzy sense that's not inviting
Instincts tell you hide your wallet
Lock your doors because your frightened
All these actions hold their merit
Justified to feel that way
It's sad you can not trust an addict
They'll do anything or say
one thing solely focused on their mind
What must be done for my next fix
I'll use anything I find
or anything can get my hands on
I will lie, cheat and I'll steal
This mindset fueled by my addiction
It's the only thing that's real
More important than hygiene
Something needed more than food
Associate a senseless value
I find myself dazed and confused
But somewhere underneath
Under all the layers hidden
familiar person known and loved
I ask you not to say good riddance
I'm sorry for not being stronger
so I could override commands
Instead I am following orders
do just like the monster planned
If I can not make it out
I'd like to say to you goodbye
because I don't know if tomorrow
I'll be dead or still alive
Written: March 23, 2018

All rights reserved.
Abigail Hobbs Apr 24
How could you?
Did you too,
ever love me?
Yes, even half past noon
How could I?
Ever love you?
Because I think I could've
Yes, even half past noon
And in the a.m.,
a quarter to two
An odd way to love, waiting in time
Maybe I shouldn't be so kind
Having you waste mine
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