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God's Oracle Apr 1
Eradication within a hollow abyss of such instinct... callibrating an insourmantable animallistic realization of a deeper defiled reconciled underlined evil lurking within...dominance of my debilitating disease...temptation to succumb to this numbing feeling...As if it all dissapears while I indulge into feeding my own agonizing addiction....something I keep feeding...tired of always fleeing not facing Life secluded within a snared trap of a battle am exausted from alliviating my feelings. I want to recuperate my sobreity, yet keep getting intoxicated to deal with inner dealings. Envelopped in tranquilizing my own self with destructive substances to hide this pain am living...slowly killing myself just to think am living.

As I contemplate at deconstructing my past...where did I go wrong Lord...is my Life even worth living?
The experiences I attain am NOT finding enjoyment at completing...
How the **** do I recover from this deep sadness am feeling?
Despair await me as my thoughts form this sentences am speaking
I ask myself the harshes questions...Is my Life to someone out there hold meaning?
Lord free me from this inprisonement am feeling...
Undersiedged and captivated am losing focus on how I ought to be living...
withstanding the problems I face with ******* toxins I keep utilizing when I desire to be quitting.
Rehab many say is the answer they keep pleading...yet cannot fully shut the door where old habits keep creeping...
Alone, conflicted and restless...am left when am dope feeding...
Is me, myself and I...who I ought to be healing...
In time...this will also dissapear
I just ask of thee Lord, let me make it out alive
Out crawl from this ticking time death-bomb I keep re-living.
Addiction Vs. Self
Strangers on the subway
Who I never met and never will
Say, "hey, martha", like they're hailing a taxi
And I say, "hey" back, because, I am martha.
The lights go out in the tunnels, because, the conductor thinks it's funny and,
Three murders happened in that time but, no one cared
And the conductor still does it.
That train after 1 am
The grey and green one that smokes and used to have a future,
That was, good at writing or something in high school, but, never made it to college, you know the one.
That train rolls up and its five minutes late, but it's always five minutes late so no one complains,
And I stub my toe on the way in, I forgot to, mind the gap, and
A strange stranger bumps into me,
They say, "watch where you're going sean"
And I say
"Sorry"
Because, I'm sean,
And we all get on and no one says a word, and most of the passengers are rodents
But maybe some are marsupials
I dont know the difference.
And we sit in there for ten minutes maybe, avoiding eye contact like it's the plague,
Excepting, of course, those few that make eye contact the whole ride, like you're interesting or, appetising, or, they're blind and those are actually glass eyes that just happen to be looking your way.
And, when the train starts it lurches, it belches down the cars, because it, doesnt think anyone can hear it because its five meters underground and, no one could hear anything from down there.
And as we sit and we ride the silence turns to music, like the lack of even rustling, or bustling, or conversation to a friend, becomes the sound of collective recognition, often purposefully ignored, that no one on that train is going.
The train moves, but they dont, and, even though their stop is right around the corner, no one on that bench will ever find their corner piece, or land that gig, or get the girl, or save the day
Because in the looming washed out morning,
They're all just, simply, nothing more than, strangers, on the subway.
Mark Wanless Feb 8
full oblivion
and absence of consciousness
i am i am
julius Jan 28
i cant
        get myself to breathe.
god what id do to see her
you
              i see twin pansies
       10. is just a number
but it means everything
at least letters are improving
            slowly climbing
                   up an endless hill
;;;;;;;;;;
      my role model is suicidal
so maybe
            he isn't one at all
his writing speaks mouth to ear
     to lungs to heart
             i read it all
over the course of a little while
about the time
      we were fused
at the wrist
                       ;;;;;;;;;;
sighing we fold
      i don't care anymore
      mysteries because
i haven't seen her eyes
       truly felt her skin her hand
              ankles bend and
break with the weight of this
digital desire and
      hopelessness
              they are not entirely
related no matter what
my parents say
      i know how my father feels
            the violence of him.
windswept beaches
      of bodies
                 i lay among the dead
when your false lover lives a thousand miles away and your father smacks your wrist every time you speak of her, every time you make a mistake
-
lack of sleep, food, i can feel myself slowly decay
alas i press on
David Bojay Jan 26
perhaps you're my karma
seeing you glow from a far
regretting the obvious
options that could've been controlled
logically thought about
fate of man
fate of all
"destiny" betrays
busy as of late
hope it stays that away
from this feeling i must stray
"call it fate, call it karma"
writing to this song
trying to live with no doubts
up into the sky i shout
downing some loud
a love i can't allow to
devour
me
hazy
lazy in the morning after my night shift
alone
always
idk why i think about it so much
previous love, emotional lust
i wasn't so tough
i'm not so tough
i wish it was a bluff
love love love
flying doves
up and above
stuff stuff stufffff... haha
i'm sleepy
i just needed to write
eager for your delight
perhaps you are the light
i
want to
be right
Jennifer DeLong Nov 2020
I am a mystery yet to be
discovered
I am a contradiction
a model of possibilities
I am driven to succeed
Stopped mid speed
I am a lover
deeply passionate
With no one to call my own
I am habit forming
full of wonder & lust
I am all of me and more
I am deeply devoted
Yet wildly ambitious
I am so many things
I am so many emotions
I am waiting for the divine
Hoping for a rather 🔥'y
explosion
throwing me every where
to become pixie dust

© Jennifer L DeLong 11/10/2020
Laiba Nov 2020
Silenced
Ashamed
Why do i have to be this why
why do she hate me, i dont understand
I did all i could as your man
she ask me to love her so i ask for her hand
my attempt seem to go without justification,
when she became mad i became a sentive man
it was never a thought i was bring her love to an end

her request was never by past without grateful planning so many acts right on my *** but i never gave in, stayed gratefully just that chance to express this enter love of this man
ended with lack of understand placed so bluntly
why do she hate me ?

I tryed my  best but her hate continue to manifest without just each passing day
I cooked cleaned, i love above means so, why does she hate me then as if there was never any love to begin why do she hate me so much why so much...
just something on my heart. hurting..
your eclipse Aug 2020
maybe it is easier to
cherish someone
we barely even know

the more they unravel;
the deeper we see them
the harder it is to say
that we do know them

may you never know me,
for i wish to have
never known you
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