I aways say that I don't want you to fix me.
I don't need you to make me happy.

There's no need to pick my bones back together and
Sweep what's left of the my self esteem

I don't need you to lift the weight of gravity

To a bearable level
To a breathable level
To a level of density that allows me to stand on my two feet.

Alas

I always did.
I always do.

Come over unannounced and do nothing but help me do the dishes.
Tell me about the time you couldn't stop staring at the astronomy of my freckles,
freckles that are only showing in the sunshine
You are sunshine
Like a daffodil
I need you to grow
Please
Fix me

Kesha 21h

I hope you wake up
at five o'clock
in the morning
with me on your mind.

I hope your eyes wake up
missing my printed words
at seven o'clock
in the morning.

Honey, sometimes
at eight o'clock
in the morning
on my drive home
I find myself,

Begging you to wake up,
Begging you to speak to me.

& even though I know
I won't hear from you
for a few more hours,
I can't help
but sit there

and wait

A raw and short piece
Emil 7d

If you were
the sky
then
i'd be the sea
and when
you shined bright
it would reflect in me.
when you're at rest
then
i am steady.

Paul Jones Jun 18

The space between ethereal measure,
the nothingness connecting our divide.
  This lack of substance is surreal, obscure
are old memories of sharing your side.
Ours is the spirit, by which we are bound,
a realm we share where timelessness persists.
  Where shapeless planes carry a formless sound,
the self becoming selfless, unresisting.
  The place you’ve gone does not belong to me
and in the space between us, seeds are sown.
  The tree of life sways softly with the breeze
while you continue, beyond what I know.
  Like wings that carry over to another shore,
you are my leaf on the wind. I see you soar.

Sonnet - 18 -
Original version: 27/09/15
This version: 23/03/17

I can share this now.

Dedicated to my Father.
I wrote this sonnet for him and read it at his funeral.

It explore's the experience of still feeling deeply connected to something that is no longer. Even after their death, people still affect you and change you. Pieces to a puzzle are still being put in their place as we mirror ourselves and our actions to what they might have done. We learn about ourselves and the world from these reflections.

On an even deeper level, this sonnet explore's the ethereal connections we have to our ancestors and the past. Observing that, what is lost to us will be reborn, through it's decay, feeding new growth. The cycle of life.

          "I am a leaf on the wind.
               Watch how I soar".
                                               - Wash, Firefly

I am never lonely in my life.

Ample memories of her I have,
Memories sweet and sour.

So many memories that I live,
Few I can despise but rest I love.

My HP Poem #1590
©Atul Kaushal

You tell me that you love me,
"Oh thank you!" I say.
But you aren't happy with the answer.

And you keep on telling me so,
"I don't know what else to say."
I can only ever manage this.

My heart has been broken badly,
I can't tell you anything gladly.
Please understand and let me be.

I am sorry Kalpana Arora.
My HP Poem #1589
©Atul Kaushal
R Miller Jun 11

I’m not everyone’s
cup of tea
My special blend of
crazy a bit too
bitter to the tongue
for some
But if you can
get beyond
the dark thoughts
and
scarred parts
I could be the
sweetest thing
you
ever tasted

I don't feel
my own strength
I don't see
how beautiful I am
I don't know
how clever I am
I don't have
my worth
I don't love
myself
I don't hate myself either
I just am
what I am
Whatever that is

Emil Jun 8

When
i ask you
to imagine
i can’t imagine
you’re
imagining
the same
thing i am.


Can you imagine how these things can end up hectic?

Saint Titus Jun 4

Parishioners gather around me
God has taken my mind
My god is splayed before me
Forming dust from thought in time

The ones like us

The ones, they've never come up
And all the ones, they don't deserve
And I

I don't deserve love

Silently burrow
Burning bright
Guiding light
To find me
The organs groan, than make me high
Each new motion besets me

My god is burrowed into the sand
Mocking me
As I am mocking you

My motives burrowed into mind
And you won't survive me god

Every six months, my thoughts change
Any time is too long
Every hour is droning on
Before I wake up, incomplete

We've cast aside distant memories
God is dead
What was once old is still old
Carry on

Robotic

Antibiotic

Symbiotic

Still we remain...


My newly bothered brothers
And sisters, so lovely
So come with me
Into this night

We are the new vicars
The world will bow
And we are the new gods
The sum of which is god

Self determination. What it is, what it do?
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