Now that you are asleep dear I can think clearly about us.
The two people that we were, we are, and that we are becoming;
And while sometimes it terrifies me right now it merely brings a small smile to my face.
Because we are still here. Together. After nearly a two years and a half. The longest I have stayed by someone's side like this.
Bridging the gap between friends and lovers, and I think I could stay like this for years to come if only the stars will smile upon us.
But just like the stars I will wander, and because of that I worry when you call me your world. I have never wanted to be someone's world - especially not after seeing what can happen to someone who builds their universe around another whom they might eventually come to lose.
I do not want to be your galaxy, or your world, or your everything because…
Darling, my darling, my dear..
Your world is not a single people or even three.. Your world is everything you make it to be. It is everything you have ever done. Everything you will do. It is every song you sing. Every game you play. Every word you speak. And every life you touch and change.
I am just a small - though I'd like to believe important - piece to that vast and still growing space.
And, dear one. Though I know you would stand against this, I know that in the end I am just as replaceable as everyone on this Earth within your life. And though you may not understand that makes what we have all the sweeter for me. Because I don't long for forever anymore. Just for now and however long now can last.. If it's the rest of our lives then I'll rejoice, but if not I'm glad to have l retaught you what it means like to fall fast. To fall fast into love.
I hope I never have to teach you what it means to fall out of love like a thunderstorm beating it's refrain against our hearts.. but if I ever do just remember that just as I filled parts of a void left in your life by another special someone, another sweet human will come along to remind you what it means to smile again.
But they will not pick up your shards because my darling you are not glass. You are a will and soul of iron. You may be dented and bent sometimes, but you will never be broken. That next person will warm your soul.. They will fill up a place which you thought was lost to someone of the past. Perhaps me. Perhaps another. Regardless they will fill it just as you will fill something in them, and the warmth will let you change again. In the end they will welcome you into the forge of their hearts and you will either come out dented again yet stronger for it or stronger still than that with a bit more of your old shape not sharpened into a steel of comfort. Either way you will grow..
Just keep growing. With me by your side. Lets grown together for now because we still have so much farther to go. Do not think of yourself as old. You are merely aging. No time has been wasted because we are all aging; and sometimes a 10 year old can be older than a 50 year old. Age is a number it is the experiences we have lived which give us our growth, and right now we are still in a stage where we can be so very naive like babes yet in the swaddling cloth. How else would we have though about forever in regards to two souls.
Despite this though. I wish to stand by you till the end of whatever we are. Until we can no longer shield, and guide, and care for one another. You have helped teach me to go from a place where I thought my body was all I could give as a token of care for another person to a place where I know my worth is more than what is written in my flesh.
So, my wolf... My Irish Lycanthrope.. Do not call me or make me your moon or your world.. Just allow me to be another treasured piece of the life you are building knowing that though you can live on without me.. You don't want to for now.
Just let me stand by your side, and that will be enough for however long the fates have appointed to us.
She sits in the corner all alone,
she's lost all her friends and everything she owns.
She always asks herself why people hate her,
maybe because "True friends" isn't what they really were?
She sits in that corner and starts to cry,
she's lost all her friends but doesn't know why.
Maybe they didn't deserve to know how she felt inside,
but now, alone in her corner it'll be easier to hide.
She lives in that corner like a bird in a cage,
and slowly but surely starts to age.
Her face is lined with wrinkles where tears used to fall,
and though she grew older she still felt quite small.
She dies in that corner for she never tried again,
and there she lies, her body drawn of pain.
There she lies 'til this day,
though the memory of her has faded away.
There in that corner you'll find a silver hair,
a little sign of hope that someone has been there.
She hopes that you, unlike her, will get out of your corner and get a fresh start,
for your life is a canvas,
and you are the art.
I don't want to see you
And for reasons other
than what one expects
It's not that I don't want to be in your presence
It's not that I don't want to hear your voice
Or look into your eyes
It scares me, you see
I'm scared you'll see
those imperfections I try to hide
Those illogical moments
The lines around my eyes
And my smile
Making me less
I'm scared to be less in your mind
Have the lustre worn down by
I feel a weight of world that I can't explain to you
I feel worn out
Stretched dry and brittle
I'm scared you'll see
And be scared in turn
That one you placed so softly
On such a broken pedestal
Would fall so far from your memory
My fear etches more lines
My heart breaks at my reflection
For reasons I hope you understand
I'll love you forever
I don't want to see you
I feel my innocence
through fingers clasped as tight as
sand slipping to the ocean floor
Thick waves engulfing it and tying it down
around my neck i feel the weight
of the opportunities i’ve missed out
and i’m not sure how much longer i can keep afloat
without letting the doubts sink me down by hidden treasure chests of siren calls.