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Ana Roe 2h
This is not who I am

I am meant to be beautiful -
like Helen, I should launch ships
and level cities with a simple gaze

I should be charismatic -
people should be taken by me
and follow me to the ends of the earth

I am supposed to be lively -
a cheerful atmosphere surrounding me
and leaving bliss in my wake

But I am not

Instead I am cold -
I am detached because of my doubt
and confine myself to a dungeon of remorse

I am insignificant -
I fade into the shadows without a sound
and find that it is all too easy to be overlooked

I am graceless -
I find that my body is unfamiliar
like I am a ghost inhabiting a strange form

This mind is not my own,
and I am the worse for it
Words stop
Throat shouts
Head whirls
Reality curls

Tears could be shed
In front of their heads
And then they'd know
How deep the hole goes

So I hold it in
Only letting them reach brim
And I pause my head
Check reality instead
I wrote this a while ago
What are we
but simple beings, wannabes
Every one a small piece
of the game, Reality™
We all live in conformity
social norms followed religiously
Until one dreamer dares to dream
steps away, breaks routine
gazes upward and flies free
Imagination is all we have
when this world is our lab
where we can be extraordinary
philosophers, never ordinary
Without these dreams
what are we
but simple beings, wannabes
His last memory was my cold shoulder, as I with ease severed our bonds
Tears embraced the pain filled face, and nightmarish shrieks took ahold of me
Each step was strenuous, a colossal amount of weight
And it was not as though my body could not move, but that my heart was unwilling to leave
Why does it always rain on those who deserve the sun? Such is a question that has no answer
Perhaps if I filled myself with suppositions a bit longer, it would soon become natural
Regret swarmed my mind and thoughts, I could do nothing but ponder what could have been different
Under the blazing sun, on the smooth warm green grass that hugs us both
The calm delicate face of his hand asks mine for a kiss, and grasp one another tenderly, bashfully sharing warmth
Hazel orbs directed at my own, seemingly pouring inside sweet endearment
Of course, we were not the only stars in the sky, another match made in heaven were joyful right along with us
The blazing sun had duet with he moons, and in the finale the role of spotlight was handed to the moon
As it twirled onto the center the sun cast a spell of light making the moon a star to be seen by all
He lied their imperfect revealing every foible, the thick, viscous blackness oozing out his heart
And surely, I am no better on the inside, sorrow rolling on my cheeks, immortal wickedness enslaving me
Yet a lovely pair sprouted their feathery wings and flew towards us only to perch on us
One drew a smile and unease lifted itself from my shoulders
T’was an exquisite blissful night, and dreamy desires filled my mind
‘Could our love be as beautiful as the moon and the sun’s?’ one whispered
No, it cannot my imperfection will make sure of that
How I adore you who investigates my heart and still intends to come closer, but the closer you are the more we hurt, simply the act of smiling at another can trouble you for days
Being friendly with an old friend summons insecurity and jealousy, and suddenly endearment is no longer sweet
For I’ve cut the both of us too deeply with my selfish love, tis so cruel I always want what I cannot have
My last memory was his hand reaching out to me and his pleading face, as I in tears severed our bonds
Love doesn't exist. Afterall, no matter how much the moon may love the sun the earth harbors the moon to itself selfishly and if the sun were to get too close it would watch in horror as its love burns to ashes.
the titanium sun
never ceases to rise

in the realm were
everything is
but your eyes

and when you
seem to fail and falter

in a static realm
reality can alter
and in here
you're never
the wiser
Lifeless weightless and silent I drift through this never ending void
Trying to figure out how I fit into this impossible puzzle
All hope I had has disappeared with my youth
This great sadness consumes me as I have realised that this is it
this is life
And it will never get any better
These are the good days we are told
before we grow up before we get old
But if my life is worthless during this period then do I deserve to go on
Do I deserve to live a happy life with a happy wife
who cares about me and loves me during the night
Or do I deserve eternal sadness all alone
with no one there expect the love from my phone
I have nothing left I’m consumed with fear
I just want happiness but I know my end is near
Welcome to the Off-show where reality never happens,
An interim getaway from life's twists and thorns.
A world of unfulfilled wishes and fable champions
Here we are spoilt in opulence and  celebrations.

Mind wandering away to magical pleasures,
Our form metamorphosed to toothsome figures.
Heartbreakers resenting the day they broke up
Relatives are now loudspeakers of our miraculous outcome.

Soon reality returns and once again we are offstage
To default conditions of dissatisfied offsprings.
The squandered time and effort catches us off guard
As false celebrations and goals are ruled out as offside.

Our Off-show is but a self tragedy casting who we are not.
An unattainable future if we don't embrace who are.
Till we heal and dress the scars we might never shine as stars.
When you embrace and empower yourself only then can you show off.
Dreamed so much of late
not sure If I'm asleep or
awake, must be the
medication for my
depressive state that I
now take, that sends me to
Sleep for hours on
end
To where I fly from dream
to dream but even In my
deepest sleep I must
awaken from my dream
like state and return once
more to face the reality of
the real world to where
I must live
My dream like from which I must awake to face again the realities of life
s 4d
my violent ideations
quell at the presence of
you only

as you lean in for a kiss
i find myself again
in some analeptic bliss

my mind is subdued by
only you

but you stepped out from
my dreams and now
you haunt reality

and this love is just an addiction
that i can't help but feed.
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