I thought that you would be the one
You put images I wanted down
You had the power to make me smile
You had the skill to make me frown
I loved the flowers you gave
Even if they were brown
Too bad our legs untangled
Our hands no longer hold
The future I once thought I saw
Are but memories that now thaw
Like ice under the sun
Dripping in puddles of flaws
This is what a Lover means
What could have been
What could be
No longer what is and what will be
I move forward with you
Now faintly a recess in my memory
This is what a Lover means
Awkward, silent, cruel
Like trying to eat gruel
With a fork and knife
Grey and slippery, sloshing in a bowl
It being there is a trial to all
You once could have been my present and my future
My boyfriend, husband, my Lover
But now you are no longer
I will not wait for you anymore
Not now, not ever.
This is what a Lover is,
You are but a Lover,
Not made to be my forever.
I hear the plunking of the rain
as I sit alone
looking through the
big window in English
as it is
pouring the rain.
What even is rain?
Some say God's tears,
others say it's simply science.
Maybe it's the tears of the angels
looking down at the pitiful world.
Maybe it is my feelings poured out
in a way I don't control
helpless and inconsistent
Drip drop, the rain is done,
and I'm still sitting alone,
over and over again.
easter cool is fun when the holy day is done
because the holiday began with jesus rising from the grave
the way we celebrate's by eating candies that we crave
that strangely enough were planted in our backyards by a giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall and one day decided that he would take it upon himself to commemorate the return of jesus christ our lord and savior by laying eggs full of jelly beans on the private property of innocent Americans i mean who gave this thing permission to do so how does he even lay the eggs and for that matter how does he get the candy in there did he create the candy or buy it from a supermarket if the latter is the case then how did nobody notice the giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall in the snack aisle did none of the employees at this establishment find that a little bit strange or are they used to it at this point do they just wait for the abomination against god and man to walk in once a year and buy the entire store's stock of candy and while we're on the topic how about we confront the question that we all have which is what gender is it like i know i've been saying "he" which i guess is the general assumption but still none of us know for sure maybe it doesn't even have a gender because of its mythical and magical and legendary status which makes me wonder what gender god is because it's kind of a similar thing in a way like everybody knows the easter bunny is a thing but nobody really gives it a gender we just say "he" because why not and we do the same thing with god in the bible they say "he" and "father" so we still do today but times were different then and we live in a very progressive day and age so people are starting to question the idea of assigning a gender to a deity that we can't even see or fully comprehend so how are we supposed to figure out if it's a boy or a girl or what race it is even that's a good question too what race is god and for that matter what race is jesus many would say white but once again that's because white people during times of accepted inequality couldn't imagine their saviour being any other color but if you think about it he was born near the middle east or somewhere around that region so it seems odd that he would be white at all but who knows really maybe white people lived in the middle east back then or maybe jesus's parents were the black sheep of the place they lived in or white sheep i guess it depends on whether or not you're trying to stay accurate to the analogy or make a clever point on race by flipping it to white sheep instead of black jesus was probably seen as a black sheep okay definitely that's why they killed him and then three days later he proved them all wrong by coming back from the dead which then birthed the holiday of easter which oddly enough we celebrate by eating candy that was given to us by a giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall
Happy Birthday, Daddy Dear
Happy birthday once again,
Daddy dear. April fifteen,
And you’re not here to share it
For you died so many years ago.
(the year before we reached two thousand).
But the fifteenth rolls around
And somehow sounds a chord inside me.
This year happens to be
Easy to remind myself.
You would have been one hundred nine –
As age today.
But still you went celestially.
I hope you’re happy
As I wish you happy birthday anyway.
So with a happy memory,
I’ll say happy goodbye
A hopeful, happy day.
Happy Birthday, Daddy Dear 4.15.2017
Birthday Book; Love Relationships II;
All of my 1500 poems,
If I could rewrite each one,
They would still be for her.
All of my daily breaths,
If I'd inhale each one again,
They would still carry her name.
All of my silver coins,
If I could earn much more,
They would still be for her.
I talked to my mom about you,
She told me a simple thing, "Let her be herself, you can't rule anybody. If both of you truly love each other, none of you would ever break away from each other. If she thinks there's someone better established than you who will also let her be herself, let her go."
I said, "You are right mother. But if you hope that we would breakup or that she will opt for someone else voluntarily, you are only being wrong because I know her true love is myself just like my true love is herself. I made a million mistakes in my previous life before my practical rebirth after surviving the accident, and I have seen yours and Papa's marriage of compromises and have matured seeing both of you quarrel. I do not want my children to suffer due to a similar reason. Just like you & myself mummy, Kripi has got her own standings in life."
Mummy interrupted, "Yes, I am also saying the same thing, you can not make her love only you and it is her choice to move on beyond you. You are not her world, accept it. The day she sees better established men after she grows up, she is going to move on beyond you. Be ready for it, Atul. Let Kripi live her life her own way, you can not do injustice to her. There would be better men for her according to her parents. Kripi has to grow up still and you are not letting her see the better part of world."
I argued, "But that someone else who might be rich and might even be more open can not write so many poems for Kripi."
Mother interrupted, "But anybody can write poems, anybody can love her better than you, provide her a better standard of living than you can ever provide. Atul, you need to concentrate on yourself. Make your career shine because that's what even you expect from her."
I retorted, "She says that she does not believe that money is everything. Kripi loves me truly and I have written over 700 poems which I dedicate to her."
Mother maintained, "Such madness, craziness is needless and you need to be ready that she will conveniently ignore even a million of poems if you write them for her if a rich man ever comes to her life. You only have rich emotions."
I said, "I love her and I will close this discussion with a promise that I will become successful only for attaining her afterwards. I will keep telling her to improve herself and only compare her to herself. And mummy, I will never marry anyone if Kripi chooses to ditch me sometime for such an ideal man who her parents search for her groom. I want her to be happy and for that, I will do everything in my power to make her happy. If she chooses to leave me for marrying someone else, I will never marry all my life long."
Kripiji, you had performed so well in 10th class, so I will not guide you anymore and you just need to look for the guiding light within yourself. Set your targets realistic. You have to become successful for yourself firstly, not for the world or for Facebook or online society. I am saying all of this with a positive attitude for instilling more confidence in you. Please do not get angry.
The end is near
I feel it
It slaps me in the face with its
I hear whispers gusting into my ears
telling me how near the end is
"The end is near!"
The whisper in the wind tell me
as if it is screaming
but oh so silent
nobody else can even hear
The sun and clouds drape over me
wrapping themselves around me
Holding my body closely
"The end is near!"
I walk and walk and walk
Questioning myself the whole time
When Oh When
Will the end be here?
I am tiered
Tiered of not knowing
Tired of all the signs
Tired of everything screaming out to me
"The end is near!"
Those who leave they never come back,
But their memories never leave me alone.
My heart is a temple, my heart is a temple,
Where love is worshipped, that home of a lover is my heart.
Each one of my heartbeats is a hymn to her,
I just need to shut my eyelids and she's here,
Death can erase my existence in her life, not my memories.
I submit the wreath of her memories in my heart,
And light the lamps of my tears,
Every breath calls out her name from the abode of love.