Could you give me a kiss, a caress, or look.
I'm dying to have you close
Because with or without you I can't go on,
You are like a hole
inside of you I feel warm
But inside you I feel so alone.
there is no reason for me to leave you,
there is no excuse for me to go,
there should be no reason after so long.
But I suffer every day whether I lose you or you stay.
I remember those moments with you and I
I remember those nights under the sky.
I remember your smile,
And i feel you,
Everybody is telling me
To just go with my heart
That is too dangerous a place
Because of I go with my heart
It will take a great leap of faith.
Am I ready to be with you?
Is that something I can do?
Trusting is just not easy for me
I want you here till the end
But for now all I can offer
Is being a friend
You are a most wonderful man
One that I treasure so
However tearing down my walls
Will be too hard for me to stand
So for now I have to let you go
Praying one day you'll come back around again
Today, I caught myself thinking
"I hope you're doing well."
And I was shocked at my own thought
I am forgiving in nature,
But I never thought the day would come
where I would wish something else
besides a stubbed toe every morning,
always running out of coffee,
sleepless nights, and daymares
the person who
stomped my heart,
made me feel like nothing
but here i was, thinking
"I hope you're doing well"
and I can't figure out if this is
my own mind playing tricks on me
or just me letting go
or just me letting growth.
The wound festers
Why should I let it heal
When picking at it is so satisfying
The blood clots and begins to dry
granulation tissue covering the open sore
Cells restructure and bond,
But before the wound is no more
I pick and I pick and I pick until blood begins to seep anew
You see, for it is my favorite wound
One that cuts deeper than flesh
One that holds so many memories
A wound that has impacted me the most
Setting off a catastrophic chain of events
Why do I refuse to let it heal?
It is clearly detrimental to my health
A question most ask themselves, but never have an answer for
I refuse to let the scar tissue form
I refuse to write it off as another careless mistake
This was not a mistake
It was intentional
I want to be reminded
The aches, the pains
It’s all I have left
Rain drops dropping on your dry soul
Wet hands now clap of laughter
Low in self-steem now flying higher
Weak in imagination
scared to see a future without her
She is deeper than the ocean floor
You shallow as a river filled with rocks
Emotions fueld by your insecurities
Now you are scared to be
who you are supposed to be
Stagnate in progression so you regress
Take a million steps backwards
Scared to move forward
Fearing the future
lacking the idea of growth
That one knee will never see the floor
Because you can't see a future with her
But you hold on to her like ransome
While her next one is dying to find her
Leave her be so she can be
free to find her one true love
Her next one