I read in a poem that there is no sound more sexual than the clink of a belt being undone but you only wear worn out t-shirts and a frown on your face. I think of the sound of tires driving slowly over the asphalt and how I could get turned on easier by a look than a touch.  Your bed and you both taste like sweat but I am not going to complain because I'd rather be overheating than alone. I consider switching on your swamp cooler but it's loud and I want to be able to hear your moans in order to remind myself that you want me too. Do you?

2. I was doing my poetry homework when I had to stop in order to write poetry.

3. I dont know if I can handle the fact that you have made playlists for other people and that is so 2018 of me. Did you make that playlist for her?

4. I'm not sure why the city feels different when you're not in it but it probably has something to do with the rope I've tied to your ankle that is tugging at my heart so hard I'm about to fall over. Its like I'm cutting the rope with a very dull knife. Piece by piece it's disappearing, string by string it's breaking off, I'm watching as it shreds, I promise it is, it's just taking time and effort. I'm sorry I did that to you, I didn't mean to. I'm sawing as hard as I can.

5. If panic attacks actually helped anything I wouldn't mind the hyperventilating but instead I still feel like a sink has sunk inside my chest even after I've calmed down. Wouldn't it be nice if you could cry it, release it, scream to the skies and then be okay afterwards? I'm not sure who made me believe the symptoms of my mental illness should be like a shower; I don't feel cleansed. I don't feel new. I only feel raw, exhausted. It feels more like that same dull knife is tearing me open each skin layer at a time until I figure out how to grab the hand that holds it or I'm left open on the table, whichever comes first.

6. I'm writing in order to breathe. If I can't get oxygen to my brain my fingers won't be able to move. I know this isn't normal. I know that's why I need this. I know I have to stop needing you.

7. I'm so scared I'm going to lose you. I don't want you in any other way. I want to love you, hold you.

8. I hear a baby crying outside of your window and I realize I need to get up to go home and get my work clothes. I find these simple things excruciating. Writing to you is a diary. I never should have learned to open my mouth and speak.

9. I started this poem four months ago and titled it a seven day long poem but I guess now it’s more than that. The first 8 were from then and now 9 is from now. You always made me feel the things I’m currently feeling. I wish I didn’t love you like I do. I'm so scared I'm going to lose you. I don't want you in any other way. I want to love you, hold you.
Here we are again.
unnamed 2h
The lost boy would walk
sometimes float
He walked alone very alone
He sang and rapped songs along
He could count on his hand the lovers
The lovers that never loved him
As he sits on the couch he continues
To pick scabs from scars
Ancient scars that no longer bleed
His heart is feeling something
A something he needs
A something he wants
A something he will fight for
His heart still open
He continues to still be in love
In love with that something
Wishing she would stop hiding
He's been seeking his entire short life
He needs to be with and intertwine
He likes red wine
She is all he sees
Please please
She pushed him
He fell on his scared knees
He loves she
at times i must be
unfiltered, undiluted, pure me
for if i let myself
restrict, edit, reform
one time too many
this death grip will never ease
for all the fear i hold
of letting the wrong thing go
is why i must let it flow
Paulina 23h
As the sun sets beyond
The stars begin to bloom in the night sky
The final emotions of sadness begin to die
It would be a lie to say
That the memory of you fades
It will always remain
In the crevices of my heart
But I am not Moses
I cannot make the seas part
To show you the love I have for you
And in the constant struggle of staying true
To the universes tube
I dance
Not a fleeting romance
But an intoxicating trance
Waking up is painful but necessary
And the straining words of our last goodbyes
Will be the finally echoes of our past
I have cast my final tears
And in the final cheers of the new year
I will face my fear
And know that tonight with the last chime of the clock
I have loved you for the last time
Words burnt in my brain,
Times not to come again,
Of long lost childhood,
Things motherly--good?
"Go and play!"
That's all she'd say,
In a big back yard,
Veggie patch too hard,
Mud pies we played,
Fun times stayed,
Boy, was there trouble!
Fled on the double,
"Go and play!"
That's all she'd say,
Long lost childhood,
Things maternal--good?
Bit of nostalgia, the old childhood days.
Phi 1d
Beneath a wave
as it rolls overhead
there's a moment of fright
in missing the crest

but it comes again
and goes off
no end

Though crashing now
in the tumult of water
eventually resurfacing
beginning to grow
and rolling over
the peaks
of once before
I hope you get to take the first step back here
Realize it's all you ever want

You were the two kinds of love
The kind with which I felt like I could do anything and everything for
Against all odds
And the kind which was safe and comfortable
The love which was home

Forever was the time between almosts and finally
Putting them all here to let go.
Isnt it funny
You always hear about couples who have screwed up
"Their only chance at love"
For the dumbest reasons
And here we are. We both know our issues
We both have them.
We both try to help each other
But if it's wrong then we snap
And now you're three feet away
But I miss you like you've been gone an eternity
And we fight fear with anger
Instead of love
Losing who we are in the process
You can leave if you really want to
I'm not going to try to stop you
And I won't tell you I love you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really need to
I won't beg you to stay
And I won't tell you I miss you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really have to
I'm not going to cry
Because you aren't in my life anymore
You could've kept me
But you, you never wanted me
Never saw me

So you can leave if you really
need to;
want to;
have to
eli 4d
I know you can't promise to stay forever
but promise
you'll stay for a really long time?
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