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SANA 5d
How long should my sadness last?
When will it come to an end?
Will it ever stop? For a split second, I might feel happiness touching my heart, but then waves of grief washes over me.
Still, for what length of time should I cover the bridges of my eyes to hide the tears that are starting to well up?
Still, how long should I continue to act as I'm alive  though I'm dead?
when will the world realize that i was dead inside a long time ago...
Jeremy Betts Mar 31
I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear

©2024
Jeremy Betts Mar 18
I scoff in embarrassment
At myself
And shrug a cold shoulder
As emotions threaten to boil over
Jealous of a fictional character
When one hears from the other
That they'll be friends forever
Forever
Has never
Been a player
In my endeavor

©2024
SANA Mar 3
"i can finally be happy " i thought
after letting you go
but now u haunt me in my dreams ,my thoughts
and most importantly in my memories
Mark Wanless Feb 25
i know i never
saw many things see few things
small knowledge enough
Monica Mourad Feb 20
Tall dark and handsome
Kind brown eyes that held mine
Eyes that shined with false promises
A smile laced with uncertainty
Kisses filled with venom that fogged my mind

I was your muse  
My laughter a song that warmed your heart.
My endless well of comfort was  your sweet escape
My aura a confusing craving you couldn’t  understand

You kept me tethered to you
To lose me meant losing your smile
Keeping me would not leave you satisfied

A charming prince turned into a Puppeteer
A princess turned puppet
Strings laced in confusion and uncertainty
Replaced the warm caresses and sweet kisses

Refusing to be tethered by fickle charm
She pulled back despite the hurt
She’s a princess after all
You were never a prince -
Just a puppeteer looking for a puppet
hindsignt is 20/20
I never dream
I am grateful for that

You used to experience night terrors

No idea why
They occured every single night when you were young

I have nothingness until morning wakes me up with a brutal slap to the face

You occupy daydreams though
It is odd that in that realm you still retain that indifferent demeanor
As if I have conjured up your essence for a few minutes

Peculiar how you talk to me in the familiar condescending tone I have grown used to the past two years

Unusual because I would rather picture you the way I always yearned for you to be

My mind consistently has worked in a literal process though

Someone who left skull strives to remember exactly as they were

So in matter of seconds
Brain's wandering fantasies quickly transform into nightmares

Every occasion

So I attempt not letting my head wander these days

No amount of discipline enough to stop it

The harder I try containing it the more it roams
I rarely remember my dreams these days
Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
If flesh and bone battle scares alone make you uncomfortable
You could not handle a sneak peek into my soul
How do I manage the impossible?
Your guess is as good as mine, that's all I know
Never as easy as saying no though

I also know what I don't know but sometimes too afraid of the weakness I know it will show
So I can't let you or anyone else know
I don't know how I let myself stoop so low
I hate it here, basking in the dumpster fires glow
I had time, it's a flash fire but the build up is slow
Never as easy as letting go through

©2023
SANA Dec 2023
all the words to express the feelings
all the feelings i am expressing
pointed you
propel me in the
direction of your fantasies
letting  me to exist in your speculations
The day I met you
was the day I understood
how frightening being apart can be.
SANA Apr 2021
I saw you at you worst
I know all your worst sides
But I still think you are the best
So please stay with me forever
At my worst till I become
YOUR BEST
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