It had started to rain
as I got to Hannah's flat door.
on the black
answered the door
and stood there unsmiling
whar dae ye want?
to come over
to play chess
Tae play chess is it
as if not moving
her thin lips.
Yes she said
Best come in 'en
moving to let me in
then closing the door
Sit in th' sittin' room.
I went and sat
in the sitting room.
Hanna's in th' lavvy
and she walked off
to the kitchen.
I looked around
I'd been there before
a few times.
I always felt
like a fly waiting
for the big spider
The toilet chain flushed
and the door opened.
I heard voices
then Hannah came
into the sitting room.
O you are here
I was in the toilet.
Yes your mother said.
Did she bite
your head off?
No just said
to come in
and sit here
Come to my room
and we can play at chess
So I followed her
to her room
and she shut the door.
I sat on her bed
while she reached
under her bed
for the chess set
in a well worn box.
She set it on the bed
and put the pieces
where they should be.
I watched her
moving the pieces
on the board.
Her brown hair long
but tied back
in a ponytail.
Once she'd done
she sat the other side
of the chess set.
Shall we begin?
You go first
I moved a pawn
two movements forward.
I could hear
in the kitchen
banging tins about
Bet she's burnt herself
she always forgets
the oven glove.
She said it coolly
no sign of emotion
no sense of love.
She loves glitter
And if you try and take away ZuZu, her blue tiger
She will scream and cry
She loves to color, and not just on paper
Sometimes random objects find their way into her hands
She's sneaky and quick
She might not walk yet but she can crawl super fast
She loves wearing skirts and bows in her hair
She's really goofy
Her favorite food is ice cream
She loves to make me laugh
She's a pro at hiding her shoes so she doesn't have to wear them
She's my little princess
And I couldn't imagine a life without her
What do you love young girl?
Rabbits, Flowers, Toys?
Anything to keep the mind pleased during our time?
Perhaps, my cell phone?
No? do you want prefer to be alone?
Fine, remember you will always be my Young Girl Love.
I wanted him to hold me as I cried an ocean and wept a sea.
I wanted so desperately to feel something other than this loneliness clutching and clawing at my chest but,
I lost it.
I lost the voice within me that made sense and the one that didn't and now I am all alone in this godforsaken darkness that continues to stab at me with all the memories I can't seem to shake off.
Am I as much of a burden to you, as I am to myself?
I wanted him to tell me everything was Okay. I wanted that so badly,
but he's not mine.
You're not mine, either.
The words are all I have and I can't seem to translate them into anything other than heartbreak.
I'm unsure as to how I could possibly trust, when all the pieces I handed you were left on the ground, neglected.
I wanted him to hold me, because he seemed like the type of safety that I looked for.
He looked like safety and everything that could possibly pull me out of my own sadness.
I hope he's nothing like you.
He's a breath of fresh air in this polluted, corrupt world.
He's so much more than all I am.
I think if he ever let me near him, I'd graze his skin with whatever poison resides in me.
I lost it all, even myself, I hope I don't lose him.
She was so hung up on the moon
that she forgot it disappeared sometimes
and every time they would remind her
to which she would reply
"he's still there
quiet but aware
and i'm still here
but young one
do you not see the light?
the ever glow of the morn
that causes you to stir
and awaken from your slumber
that shines on you
that you may live one more day
the moon may define the day with its orbit
but it can never be called the day
without the sun
I soar through the lonely, night sky in search of myself
I seem so out of place,
As if my eyes are not mine
Do not resemble what I've learned to become accustomed to
The reflection in the mirror is of someone who I do not recognize and I am unsure as to how I introduce myself.
Do I say my name in hopes of her liking it?
Do I hug her and let her know that all her baggage is just as welcomed as she is?
Or do I cast her out,
As an intruder and beg her not to come back?
She calls out to me in my dreams & it's so hard to make sense of everything that slips out of her tongue and graces her lips.
I make out a couple of words and I think she's asking me to save her.
Luckily for her, I'm the first person that's aiming to do so.
Toy with me like a fucking puppet keep pulling the strings until I'm under the mindset that I'm yours completely.
Read me like the novel that just sits gathering dust on your shelf because you don't read enough. As you tear out pages and pages for your cigarette butts, that coincidentally you got me back into.
My life's a pattern of endless cycles.
I'm happy one day and the next I'm lost because maybe I don't exactly know what to do.
I was just getting used to you.
And it honestly feels like burning for me, how you and others keep burning me on these streets in which we used to skate all night on.
We would stay up late at night waiting for the stars so we could sing our favorite rap songs in my car. Blasting music faster and faster we'd go singing and all.
Driving around because no destination for us was too far. You pushed me away and left me with a scar.
Making little stops on the way to the lonely field where you cut me deep to my gills.
Sometimes good people deal with too much that it becomes draining, was hoping to see the rainbow with us after it stopped raining.
For once I had thought I had someone to get along with, but you ended up becoming mischievous.
You called me a goon and for me that nickname just stuck and unfortunately you became bad luck.
We'd get to your place where we'd stay.
Smoking out of your little bong, then we would lay talking as night quickly turned to day.
By morning we'd rush to work knowing we couldn't sleep away our days. I was hoping for a Summer romance And we'd go out and dance, but you just never gave me the chance.
For me that was enough. Getting to know you and slowly falling harder and harder, but I couldn't take it much longer. As I started to get to know your family and friends, I just thought that would never end. Maybe just maybe if you could just see that I was happy for once and how I wished we could be.
You had me captivated with not just your looks, but your personality so rich and ever so engaging.
I cared for you and trusted you too which I normally don't often do.
It was nice going on dates and sometimes to the bars, I couldn't wait to stay up all night to see the stars.
You'd have me stay the night because we'd drink too much, you even turned out to be my crush.
It mattered that you cared even the gentlest touch it was nice knowing someone made me feel like I mattered that much.
But then things crumpled and I felt fucked but it turned out I didn't have the luck.
After a nice movie out with my friend I saw you had hit me up I wished I wouldn't have opened up.
Do you even care or give a single fuck? Maybe or maybe not.
We went from talking to nothing in a quick blink you ripped me to shreds and I had to clear my head and think. To me it seems like we did rush into this but you turned out to be mischievous.
It hurts because I care sometimes a little too much. And all I wanted to do was feel your touch. My friends say well you did it to yourself, but this is the embarrassment that I've felt.
But didn't we say we had such good luck?
Where's that all go? Why am I here so awfully stuck?
You were a star that I gazed upon but it looks like those days are gone.
The beautiful northern light.
I was in great awe just by your charm, beauty, touch and sight.
You made my life feel easy and my fears vanished like the starry nights we used to share, but now I have to beware.
The timing wasn't good, but you still told me you liked me which kept my hopes high like the ground we stood.
I finally felt like I was living my life, but something just ended up not being right.
Dreams fade they say and slowly like the cigarettes we smoke we all die, but this turned out to be a rotten night time sky.
I never thought that we would come to this but here we are, you've left me with a nasty scar.
I hate what I have become
Someone incapable of love
Never long lasting
I've been emotionally fasting
You've changed who I was
I will never be the same because
Of you....I'm no longer that hopeless romantic
I'm now that girl who wish she never had it
Being in love was a myth
All those months proved it
With all your lies
Now my heart is lower in size
It's hard to trust new people I meet
Because there is nothing I can do but keep
Remembering everything you put me through
Now I can't move onto something new
As I stare into space, standing quietly and still
I don't think anyone can save me or ever will
-I've got bored of words.
-You tergiversate... Small world.What this bouquet of flowers is doing in the intermediate?It's a date?
-Ah... such prolixity... More champagne?
-What's the point?
-My aim? Mmm... to try to oscullate you.
-... What?... You desire a profane elixir?
-It'll be more than tasty.It's alleged...
-But, don't you distinguish the mayhem's reflection below?
-Your solicitude.. Ah!... What a nice champagne.Hmm... Cake? By the other way or not there's nothing at the ceiling.
-You've perused my protocol... A small slice, please.
-A kiss a skirmish.Palatable as this recipe... Well... apart from an armageddon...
-Stop pushing on boy.
-I already vanquished the inception, you know...
-Catastrophe is your trophy, but I disavow your apocalypse.
-I was expecting something more digestible.How's the alcohol?
-Hm!... As everything surrounding us.
-Ahhh... No... They just don't move.. don't have gravity...
-Funny waiter... Hovering waiter.Did you emend your canon?
-Champagne and desserts will not litigate your anticipation.You know.How strange is...
-The room? No... Is normal for it to circle upside down.
-In this desert? With all those people?
-They are frozen, and... before I veto, quivering in a hurt heart.
-Blown sand... popped champagne... Oh, I didn't notice the light fixture's embroidery.
-The sun's in the bottom.Look up... Its obumbration is into the typhoon.
-Standstill, nothing's synchronized...
-Is your tranquility dissipated? gone?...
-No.If isn't yours.
-I just still want that hug.
-Hmmm... I forgot you're a cold person...
-And you a hot girl... Irony...
-I'm apt to it...
Then an aurora flash
And splashing glass
Accompanied by springing sparks
Shattered bass walls
Begetting noctilucent dark and dusk
A hurricane, breathing the sun
Just dust to dust