20 years and a Bottle,
not much has changed
between the mother
rubbing whiskey on her
infant's gums
and the girl that stands tall now
drinking it from a cup.

i want to tell you that you’re mine
this cozy new year’s eve
your kisses are heaven
your smile is divine
and i’d hate for you to leave

i want to tell you that i love you
this dreary valentines day
you brighten my sky
you quiet my mind
and i’d really like you to stay

i want to tell you that i’m leaving
this warm Sunday afternoon
my trust you have lost
pinky swear, fingers crossed
two hearts broke that day, in June

they said look at yourself
in the mirror
and when i did
all i saw a girl
who couldn't say no
who was tired of doing
things she couldn't love
who forgot to smile when
she saw the things she liked
the reflection in mirror
was telling a story
she never thought
could be written for her
can she cry now?
she asked
but shook her head
as this society was not going
to give her the privilege
of being her true self

im not trying to cause a riot
but no more nice girl being quiet
im telling my story this time
and its not my fault you commited the crime
i've been hiding in the dark
healing on my own
but im not that same girl anymore
im not going to pick up my phone

it wasn't "one little mistake"
no, you knew i was barely awake
you took away my choice
but you didn't take away my voice
i'm ready to use it now
to speak up for the truth despite
the backlash i know i will inevitably face
when i look you in the eyes tonight

you told me what happened
while your hand was on my thigh
"its embarrassing you got that drunk"
even my friends turned a blind eye
it took me years to process
a simple caress would cause distress
but now i can say
nothing makes it okay
and nothing gave you the right
when i was passed out
6 years ago, midnight

can you see the girl
as she traverses the street
a world of hope
on heavily grounded feet
she walks in shadow
she walks in light
the hope of creation
the burden of love
where she is going
we can only guess
she can take us with her
for the want of a kiss
to get to know her
walk in her light
or follow behind
in the shadow she casts

the first night you found me
i was singing in the kitchen
"we are young" on the speakers
feeding into your addiction

and i didn't know you then
i had my own group of friends
found myself pulled into your
seven-day weekends

and we didnt last long
but nobody said we would
my memory of you is marked with
a promise of falsehood

one final night last may
left me crying at the ballet
god i was such a cliche, i
thought that i could change your ways