I am not perfect,
I am definitely not the one for you.
But I wish to be the one to keep that smile on your face
I want to live with you in the moment.
I don't want that girl.
I want to hold you in my arms,
Our lips don't need to touch for me to show you love
Just being next to you gives me life.
Even if tomorrow I meet my fate,
I will happily receive it
for I have lived my life.
i wrote this to tell you all the things you'll never get to know about me
you will never get to know what i taste like with all 90 days under my belt
you'll never get to know how i handle the anniversary of my mother's death
or what watching my father die does to me
you'll never get to see me bailing my little brother out of jail
or find out about how i don't smile the same way anymore after serving two years inside
you'll never see me on my wedding day
and you will never hear me tell you "i do" or that i love you
or hear me announce that my wife is pregnant
and you'll certainly never get to meet my baby girl and she'll have eyes just like her mama
you will never hear me come home from work when we're in our late thirties and i always have a good reason to bring flowers
you won't ever find out what my favorite song is when i'm mowing the lawn out back
and you won't be there when i decide to press charges on the man that hurt me
my point is
and honestly, you might not care. you might not ever even think of me again.
but you will never get to know me.
and for that i am thankful
Show me no purpose
But a past the keeps
Me awake in the night
Lost in the day.
I am bound to believe
Yet a part of me
Wants to run from this dream
This one thought that could decide
Just decide my fate
Once time is of the essence
And the bells of chaos ring
Through my ear out the other
Swinging back and Forth it goes.
I am a troubled child
That now has become his
In the wake of his thoughts
That remind him of his....
PHYSICAL abuse by the
Only person by my side
That has left me to struggle
To breathe in a space where air is
Of the scarcity in its degree,
EMOTIONAL disconnection to
My own mother,
And destroyed by his one true love
Who left questions lingering in the mist,
MENTALLY tortured and taught
To hate by a step mother
Who knows the truth,
Would destroy her for life.
It is to the point
that Every time i think of myself,
disgust my very existence.
When in a mood of
I am bound to believe
I will die a "Gatsby",
But in a shade of light
Not to remember.
Could it be that
I have over lapsed
My time on this Dimension
As my fathers punching
So as to learn
How to take care of his own children.
when the thought of
Pays a visit to the mind
I think not of heaven or hell
I fear I will die
without a VOICE.
And my THOUGHTS
echo the words with no remorse
All I can do is feed my addiction.
no one can sleep on a broken heart,
the pieces will pop your lungs
and flood your chest with regret.
no one stays up just to watch the stars,
they stay up to find themselves in the sky
(self centered bastards, every one).
maybe i’m just too good at being bad,
But good is hard to find and far away
bad at love and here to stay.
Sweetest angels never die,
They just become invisible.
But they manifest in your memories,
Yes, they never stop caring for You.
An angel gave birth to You,
Sweetest part of my life now.
I am sure that she deputed me,
Just for You she lobbied my life.
Let's close our eyes and see,
See where she smiles in relief.
Let's join our hands and feel,
Feel her approval seal not in disbelief.
Relieved that you are not alone,
Satisfied that you are not unloved.
Today she is smiling upon us both,
She blesses you on your birthday.
Every war i’ve fought,
entirely in my head.
If you had asked me 3 years ago,
By now i thought I would be dead.
My stomach fought me to shrink
through starvation and humiliation,
I only cried out
in a warrior’s retaliation.
My body kept on going
when my brain had given up
and the desperation spread to my skin
in the form of bruises and cuts.
Sleep stopped it’s spell,
replaced by my fears in the night
where they held me in their blankets,
yet I still screamed out for a fight.
Memories of years that passed
pretending they had power,
still I know they will fade away,
new ones taking their place each hour.
There are battles that take place,
they are part of me
and I have come back different,
I’ve accepted I am complete.