Why can’t you look at me as normal?
Why do you see me a freak?
Why don’t you think that my heart can’t break?
Why can’t you understand that I own my own pain?
That I drive myself insane trying to become something new.
But when I say that I hurt, its, “who knew?”
So put me in a cage,
Condemn me for wishing for normality
That wish led to my fatality.
So I am here
With the ones they call odd
The ones you laugh at
The ones you question
Because if I can’t be normal, than no one can
Spend my life wishing to be larger than life
Wishing that people would see me, and not for my appearance.
Because as this is written, I am in pain
At this time I have no hope.
So go and tell me
“No need to mope”
But hell, not even the pope
Could pray the things I need prayer about.
That’s why I fell so far behind
Because I thought there was another path to find
And music was the only way I felt right
The notes where my eyes to see the light.
But you still laugh at me
Because my music is not sung at church
Because I scream
I am labeled a freak.
But if I don’t have talent
Why am I still writing on?
Because one day
You will remember the remraf name
When I claim my fame,
You will burn in the flame of my darkness
Of my shadow
So welcome to the carnival,
Where the lowest of the low find the highest of the high
Because today
Is the day
We rise,
Every “freak” in the world
Rise.
Because a freak is the new normal
And if you don’t agree,
Than you can stand before me
And tell me all my faults,
Tell me my insecurities.
And when you’re all said and done
It’ll be my turn to pay my respects
Because when you looked down at us
You forgot that even you had overseers.
Because what you do
What you say
Is downright dirty.
I am angry at your actions
Treating me as a carney boy
I am no freak
I am no freak
I am no freak
Leave me be!
Oh!
Leave this alone
Let me live my life
So what if you don’t like my music
So what that you don’t like my style
So what that you are to pussy to make your own
So what?
So what?

Do Re Mi,
Life is as bad as it can be,
Do Re Mi,
What is wrong with me?
Do Re Mi,
Enough with this misery,
Do Re Mi,
The pain I don't want anyone to see,
Do Re Mi,
I've lost my rhythm,
Do Re Mi,
My songs fallen apart,
Do Re Mi,
I'm way off tune,
Do Re Mi,
Life is as bad as it can be.

In the gallery of a town, art was duly contained
and cared for carefully without contamination.
There was a painting there, painted with oil
paints that rained and formed a picture of a bird
on a canvas of vivid blues, browns, and greens
that fixed eyes on it like webs to hair.
The artist spoke:

“We are all swallows: proud, free, agile.
We are all oceans: formidable, hostile.
We are all stormy weather: thunderous.
We are all columns: supportive, calloused.

Entwined we will walk,
down to and up to the sands,
into elixirs made with salt;
swelling our joyous hands.”

Men, women and children all strolled by,
and let not one of them see the lows and highs
of the artist's soul. A boy stood there with
no-one: his uncorrupted eyes walking up and
down the mined canvas. He felt no sand
under his feet; he felt no wooden skin and
complexion in his hands.
He spoke:

“We are not swallows: ashamed, caged, stiff.
We are not oceans: defenceless, mild.
We are not stormy weather: soundless
We are not columns: defective, defiled.

Like slaves, we sing
on top of the wings
of new-born Spring.

The ground we sowed and toiled,
reaped dangers of fantasy untold.
Soul-reaping bird-singers
singing the siren song to us.
But we must not fuss.

I bleed the colours
of a deadly rose garden.
Red, yellow, blue, green:
colourless eyes remain unseen.”

Aidan A 1d

Verse 1 -
Shes done something to me that I just cant explain
And all the words I thought I lost I have regained
When paper meets the pen,
I fear the lack of ends
I know she'll list'n in
When I sing

Chorus 1 -
Go to sleep
My enchantress of a myriad,
Beautiful come with me
Eternity could be ours

Verse 2 -
I knew I'd love her even if only from afar
Away land I couldn't hope to get closer
I knew I'd love her even if I'd have to wait
A moment longer, till Im beside her...
When paper meets the pen
Thats where my love begins
Shes now the meaning
In the words that I sing

Chorus 2 -
Go to sleep
My enchantress of a myriad,
Beautiful come with me
Eternity could be ours

Show to me
My enchantress of a myriad
Leave your pain
But keep your eyes on me
We can live in fantasy
Eternity could be ours

Outro -
Go and be,
More than just my silhouette
And though you are now
Finally free
Remember our fantasy

My enchantress of a myriad.

I've been busy completing these songs for a small project of mine, so this is the extent of my poetry, of late.

The chorus stems from a much, MUCH earlier poem. This song has been 4 or 5 years in the making, so naturally the EP will be named after it.

Interested in hearing how it sounds?
https://soundcloud.com/theaidanazhar/with-which-i-let-go

Instrument is a guitalele. Uke players please take your seats. The song is meant to emulate a bittersweet lullaby.

Obviously there are mistakes and flaws in it's arrangement, but this is the song at it's core. Currently transposed in A but will be recorded in E standard, cause lets face it, no one cares about the lower octave.

Input and criticism is very welcome! Thanks for reading/listening

You're broken
But you need to focus
Pick up the pieces and put them together
If you would just ever
Stop and look at what you've accomplished
You'd be astonished
And maybe If I told you
you're not realizing
That I wanna be you
it might come as surprising
Because what I'm actually saying
is I think you're naturally amazing

I'm solid, not apparition.
Better check your vision, see what you're missing, girl.
I don't need your permission
To go on existing with or without you, girl.
I ain't gonna let it go, 'cause this been going on too long.

I won't be another ghost,
No, I won't be invisible.
You see me everywhere you go,
No, I won't be invisible.

Invisible

I had my suspicions, you kept me at a distance
I ain't disappearing, girl.
I thought you were worth it.
Pulling back the curtain;
I see why I was hurting, girl.
And I ain't gonna let it go,
Now you see me with the lights on.

I won't be another ghost,
No, I won't be invisible.
You see me everywhere you go,
No, I won't be invisible.

Invisible

I won't be diminished, eclipsed, or hidden.
You're gonna see my light blaze back to life;
Let the phoenix rise.
I won't be diminished, eclipsed, or hidden.
You're gonna see my light blaze back to life;
Let the phoenix rise.

Invisible

My friend Stephen's rendition of Christina Grimmie's invisible.
Cné 3d

mσσnlíght ín thє mєαdσw
cαѕtѕ thє ѕhαdσw σf thє trєєѕ
í cαtch α glimpse of ѕílvєr
αѕ thє вrαnchєѕ cαtch thє вrєєzє
thєrє'ѕ juѕt α ѕσund σf ruѕtlíng lєαvєѕ
ín ѕσlítudє í ѕtrσll
thє wσσdѕ αrє mínє thíѕ єvєníng
αѕ í plαч thє wσmαn'ѕ rσlє
pαuѕíng вч thє rívєrвαnk
thє ѕчmphσnч вєgínѕ
thє ruѕhíng wαtєr'ѕ cσuntєrpσínt
tσ lívє σαk'ѕ crєαkíng límвѕ
thє gєntlє wínd, thє tєmpσ mαkєѕ
αnd í вєgín tσ hєαr
thє rhчthm σf thє pulѕє σf lífє
αn єαrth ѕσng ín mч єαr
hσw ѕwєєt thє єvєníng ѕєєm tσ mє
αríαѕ fíll thє níght
αnd thєn thєч mαkє α chσruѕ
αѕ thє mσσn rєѕumєѕ hєr flíght
hσmєwαrd вσund, í pαuѕє αnd líѕtєn
α mєlσdч ѕσ ѕwєєt
rєgrєtfullч, thє ѕpєll íѕ gσnє
nσw, juѕt thє trαffíc'ѕ вєαt

Happy Earth Day!

good morning sweet love,
good morning beautiful day,
a sweet serenade

xoxo

I live in this city, alone.
It is always cloudy here.
It is cold, and it rains all the time.
But you could find love in this city,
if you wanted.
You could look through the window
of an old Victorian house and,
seeing a beautiful family
in a living room full of books,
think: “this could be my family”.
Or, even  better, “I could be that happy”.
The city has no limits: take advantage.
This could be your land.
You could call this city home.
You could call this city: home.
Give it a chance.
Just give it a chance.
It’s not too late.

The wish to call the place where we live home. May it be this city - Manchester, UK?
Sun 4d

She learned to walk and stumble

She could not stop giggling when her dear ones smiled at her
She left the sweetest home to grow, to learn ... far away from their riverside field where she once grew flowers, nurtured sweet memories
With the course of time she became a childish adult

Then she met another soul whose smile meant to her a ray of Sunshine on a cloudy day
After wandering a few hundred miles around, she reached there.
The unknown soul's innocent smile  inspired her to stay strong when the ground was falling through.....

Unknown became very known with the blink of eyes
She used to love voyage
One day she realized
She was floating on a wrecked boat in a vast sea
The very known  soul wanted to see her drowning
She managed to build a raft with all the strengths she had
She sought for a land to survive on her own
She kept breathing

She discovered herself in a large field of daisy
It took her to the memory of those daisies of the days when she trusted more
Lost days were to her a music of a soothing violin that the known soul never tried to hear
The unsung songs of the Daisy field will disappear eventually in the unknown past
She survived with the memories with head hold High

She becomes a Willow Tree so flexible that can withstand anything

She survives with the peaks and valleys of life, with the colors of sunset

Her curious eyes keep asking_
Can you hear me now? Does it ache your soul?
Somewhere, on my own, I still EXIST.....

~|| October 2016||

The unsung song she remembers but can not sing anymore
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