The smoke from the air fills my lungs as I deep inhale
...Exhale
Its the only type of high I feel
...Inhale
The constant green of "de huff"
...Exhale
I roll the weed into my mango swisher sweet
...Inhale
I lick the edges shut
...Exhale
Here I go again, up into my high
...Inhale
Don't bring me down
...Exhale
Until I'm underground
...Inhale
6 feet underground...

...exhale...
It's always the weed
9:44PM
4/13/18

I just put on my headphones and blasted Bon Iver
Then i just laid there not moving,
I guess i figured if i held my breath long enough & remained super still
I would sink into my bed and fade away
Away from everything, escaping it all
I wish i had disappeared into the mist of darkness that surrounded my room
But the song ended,
My eyes flared open,
I regained consciousness, sadly i was still here
When we first met
I looked at you as if you were the sun,
The moon,
And every star and planet
That ever did exist
Or ever will.

You looked at me
Like a kitten
Would look at a toy mouse,
Or maybe
How a wingless bird
Would look at the sky.

Now, you only look at me that way
Once your mind
Has fogged up
From the invitingly warm
Unmoving smoke
Leaping off of the blunt we share.

You only embrace me
When the dark water
Invades my mind
Making my words sweeter than honey,
My brain, dimmer than the night sky,
And my heart
Desperate for any sign
You're still there.

And After
I have no choice but to listen
And nod
As you explain to my child-like mind
Why I can't sleep
Next to you,
Or even at your place,
And how
"Next time"
You'll be fine with it.
I'm too drunk to protest.
Or to walk.
Or to tell you
How much I love you,
Or how depressed I am,
Or how sometimes,
I wish death would sneak me away,
Or how afraid I am to lose you.
I simply nod,
And agree that,
"Next time we can cuddle
And sleep"
And that the bad thoughts won't creep
Because you're there.

But next time won't ever come,
Will it?
Isn't  lonely another kind of high?
Of how each high has a low of its own.
As if they are the two rivers destined to meet, except there is no ocean after that.
It's just the high and the low, following each other, back and forth, like long lost lovers.
So just like people use drugs,
I guess I use my lonely,
To get a clear head,they say.
On nights like these, I dance with him, him being my lonely.
He creates so much space for me, drools with me, I wonder if I could breathe this time, and yes I do, in that moment there is no one between me and my fresh breathes.
No regrets, no bad memories, no hatred.
I am as pure as a new born,
As light as dandelion seeds,
As happy as humanly possible.
I guess this is called being high.
My mum once told me- ' love everyone but love yourself first'.
So as I pen down these words, packed beneath my sheets, I wonder shouldn't we be high all the time?
Shouldn't we be in love with ourselves all the time?
#lonely #alone #high #higher #depression #love #loveyourself #mother
And when the drugs, alcohol and smoke “clear” your mind that’s the only time you feel at your high... but your at rock bottom honey.

-dissapointed
Aa Harvey Jul 6
Monkey In A Tree


I am a monkey sat way up in a tree,

Looking down on humanity.

You wish you could climb up here and be as high as me;

But you have evolved so much, you’ve begun to decrease.


(C)2011 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
fs yousaf Jul 3
The first thing
I fell in love with
was the way you wrote.
So sweet,
so innocent,
light on my mind
and had me high
all the time.
Malak S Jul 2
I wrote a poem about the highest of highs and trippiest of lows.
I wrote a poem about inhaling the ashes of a burned lover and how all that was left, were the charred remains of a once lit flame.
I wrote a poem about your eyes and the wormhole I drowned in.
How the walls grew hands and pulled at my shirt, my arms,
How my skin is now marked by your fingertips,
Your hands, the only ones that fit accordingly to my body.
I wrote a poem about how heartbreak has stitched itself into unfamiliar places
I wrote a poem about how I am hard to Love,
About how my heart beats abnormally, taking a pause between beats- Lub...d-dub-
I wrote a poem about how my ex lovers have settled into my body,
Their words continue to resonate in my mind.
I wrote a poem about how I trip over my appearance and how the world is beautiful, but we're poisoned apples, rotting slowly with worms eating holes out of us.
I wrote a poem and no matter the words that poured out of me, I was still full of  emotions that continue to abandon me, wake me up in a sweat and in tears

Heartbreak and sadness meet me by the end of my bed.
They hold hands and smile at me, the scene before them, almost artistic.
I have become nothing, but a painting described as innocent and free of any emotion that doesn't resemble one of a woman.
I have become something filled with anger, resentment, and hostility.
I have become the end of the world, my fires burning my body, your fingerprints finally falling off with my melted skin.
I have become an art piece placed in a gallery, waiting to be critic-ed.
I have become a lost memory, forgotten like a message in a bottle, thrown away into the middle of the pacific ocean.
skyler Jul 2
drugs don't take the pain away, sure,
but they make it more bearable

so when you're wide awake and you haven't fallen asleep
because your thoughts have gone too deep
you won't sit and weep
about life being so bleak
because the numbness will take over when your high is at its peak
and your questions will melt away
turning the whole world gray
you wish you would have stayed
you want the happy life that feels so unattainable
you want that perfect person who seems so unforgettable
but all you have is a drug
when all you need us a hug
but the high is what's getting you through
you feel like an addict and it's probably true
but you won't stop until your skin fades blue
because the world's a lonely place
so you fall into space
with whatever gets you highest to forget a lovers face
and an awful sad place
and sure, drugs don't rid you of the hurt
but they make some things feel a little less worse

s.s
this is messy I'm sorry
Freddie Ruiz Jun 30
You just brag about how people kiss up to you,
look up to you, rub up on you and feel up on you,
because nobody can stand “as high as you”,
yet, you’re asking me to prove that I have faith in you.
Well, if you think I have to kiss up to you,
look up to you, rub up on you and feel up on you,
because I can’t stand as high as you,
then, why are you asking me to have faith in you
if after all, no one can stand as high as you?
Written on March 23, 2010
Composition number: 351
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