The fisherman casts his lure into the undisturbed water
The soft "plunk" sends ripples to the farthest reaches of the pool
His bait is shiny, it dances to a rhythm that is impossible to follow
It catches my eye, as it never fails to do
I swim towards it as I've done so many times before
I know I should leave it be, I know where this road goes
But I'm already caught
He reels me in
As I'm being pulled away I scold myself for my stupidity
I'm pulled out of the water and for a brief moment I can't breath
It's a feeling that I've become so familiar with that I no longer fear it
The fisherman drops me in his bucket
For hours I'm left to swim around without direction
Until he releases me, he always releases me
I swim back home, I've already forgotten the lure and its magic
Until I hear the "plunk" again
And I'm reminded that I'm not the one in control
Have you seen them,
Flying in the night,
Allured by the brimstone
And the fire light.
In spectral flight
All in search
Of a source of light.
The moon beckons
But artificial glow
Dazzles their eyes,
As they fly to them
Burning in the hold
That they have them.
Those who are wise,
But at luck follow the moon.
Those stay behind
And die in the first light
Because I am supposed to be writing this
And all I can think about is you.
And you are all that I have written about
For hours uncountable to thieves.
How have you stolen all I know
With smiles stretched across our faces?
Veins pulsing through my wrists
Reflecting the green of your ever-gleaming eyes.
Beer bottles dripped of shared saliva
Dareful demons in a room of angels.
You, seeping my sweatshirt in smells of you.
Oh God, how they envied us.
Oh God, how I envied us.
We're all humans, almost the same;
black and white or red and brown
in the ways, we smile, or grin and frown,
and even cry and cuddle
like kittens with soft soul, which
we’re all fragile and breakable,
for we’re made out of clay of soil.
Although, we have many faces,
and dwell in different places,
or enunciate with many mouths,
yet, there’s ONLY one night or day,
for all, to sleep or play.
Thus, there will be time, in which
the oceans will dry.
the sun will set, and
the earth will stay still,
and the kingdoms must fall, so
a mankind can dance or cry,
on that abrupt call.
Therefore, if darkness is inevitable,
shouldn't we hang up the frame?
Why some hearts,
to beat out the flame?
Feelings always changing and forever moving like the water flows in the ocean.
Full of shallow thoughts and deep-rooted insecurities.
Why do I care how you feel? Because I absorb your soul like the sucking of poison from a deep wound.
Taking it upon myself to help you find some lethargic relief. I know it can damage my very existence but I take it on as if I am able to carry your burden.
It’s as if this poison fills me and I am able to change its very form into liquid gold that warms me.
I see glimmers of hope in your eyes and that’s enough. It’s enough for me to continue to help.
Enough that I lose myself and my own poison doesn’t exist in these moments.
My poison is briefly eliminated as I pull in your destructive energy. It begins to run in fear, selfish because it realizes it is no longer significant.
It waits and creeps up again when it knows it can be the center of the universe again. When it can conquer all aspects of my fragile mind.
I walked in delusion
To the room I was due
There was a note
Nothing to do
I wanted to turn
Around and go home
But I didn't move
You were alone
I've never seen you before
We started to talk
We walked down the stairs
And went for a walk
You seemed like a nice guy
And borrowed my matches
I don't even smoke
But my hands got scratches
I looked at your face
You brushed the leaves
From my hair and back
I was at my darkest
You made me smile
I had a bad day
You made it worthwhile
I don't want to hurt you
I like you, it's true
Would it be unfair
If I fell for you?
Some days my heart feels heavy with it
The distant want
The growing fear
The way it is but will not stay
For the remainder of these
More youthful days
My heart is this
But not at last
Instead how it wanders
Through fields of idealism
And lets you pass
With every conscious moment
How I dream of you and let you pass
I know you know I love you
I think I know you love me too
But it's not the same love.
It's not those butterflies I got in my stomach
Although you still give me those
It's not that plummet I felt from my throat to my chest
Although you caused them more than most
I think I know you love me
When you get protective and envious when someone makes a move
Although I catch myself smiling when you do
Those times you cross red-lined boundaries
Although I know you had the best intentions
It's not the same love.
When I stop the messages
Although you do them more than I
When you feel awkward with my interactions
Although I try not to question yours
When you go back to your first
And I ponder the thoughts of a second
When that disconnect feels so physical
I wonder if our loves have changed.
It's been so long since you've said the final words
Yet we still maintain the contact
Like nothing changed or happened
Even though everything did.
I look at you now and I know
I'd love to see you grow
I love the way we joke
I'd love to stay so close
I know it's not the same.
You know I love the way
Your glasses frame your face
Your lines that grow with age
You focus on your own pace.
You know it's not the same.
I think I love you differently
It feels like it's fading out
Into something deeply new
Like the way close friends do
I only want to know
If it's the same for you.