Last year you shattered my heart every day
this year I'm thankful that we part ways
In the end you never played your part babe
now, you’ve left me in a dark wave
back then, I'd never fall in love again
you told me you’d love me to the end
I guess that's the difference between now and then.

Darkness beckons to her, its long reaching fingers
touching her to her very soul
its the darkness to which she may not surrender
no matter how much sweeter the prospect

darkness invites her to come, and rest
darkness promises her to eternal, blissful rest
it assures her that her troubles will be left behind
no more pain to be felt, no more ties to bind

darkness, the sweet, eternal friend
when in fact it would be her final brutal end
the temptation to give in, to giver over to the darkness
is always present, as her life is in a constant mess

she feels she is drowning in the light
no one sees her, no one hears her plight
its ignorant bliss she wishes for, craves
yet she faces each day anew and always braves

the elements of her life, the constant beaten path
she seems to follow from day to grueling day
she wishes for a warm welcoming hearth
but she always, always seems to lose her way

she is lost, will she ever be found?
Will she ever again hear that sweet promising sound
of the light that is meant to have and hold
yet for her is carries the odor of the dank and cold

the light fades daily, hence the pending darkness
its the darkness that always theses days prevails
and she is sinking, sinking, sinking down, down
further away from this light, for the darkness prevails

Darkness of mind, darkness of soul
that which claims both the young and the very old
darkness you claim to be an ally, a friend
why then do you only bring about, her impending end?

Long sedative ride,
Harrowingly sweet.
It hurts me so,
To watch you grow;
To see you go

On for an adventure!
Some unknown venture
Into a future
Beyond iridescent curtains,
Where we are no longer certain.

Leaving these petals in the dust ー
My love, I have come to rust!
In a withering web, I've been cast;
I stand to fend off
A journey reaching its end.

As I eye your certainty:
A longing to be free.
I alone should bear this hefty fee
If my beloved would come to be!

And I will remain ー Not belonging, but still

Longing.

Yo, I don't feel okay
is that okay with you?
I'll back off, *******, do what I have to do
to make sure this sleepy Sunday goes swell for you.
But your actions are like rug burns,
not hurting for long--but still hurting

  I?
  I twisted your arm?
  You're not mad about that!
  Are you?
  You are?
  Give me your skin so I can fold it!
  Feeling your wrinkles under my calloused hands,
  it won't hurt, I swear!
  A lesson for you is what I bear.

I let this happen for one hundred years
until my pale flesh turned purple,
and my eyes blackened into squares as I saw Nyarlathotep slip out of your three tongues.
You begged for an apology I couldn't muster,
and in turn chafed your own foolish forgiveness in place of mine.

I feel the friction raising blisters to fingers.
I feel the whispers of the smoke when it lingers,
a siren rifling delirium
and biting to the throat of a genius
who questions how bad miasma hurts the singer.
It's the quintessential fever dream between us

Oh, he's so smart, look at his three page diatribe
describing his rage, he's a machinist
yeah
Go join the dire parades of craven weakness.
Admire reagents calculated to the T,
brewed and created for playfully degrading,
and raising heart rate, lying to you,
and prying from your fingers.
When they ask you why you're dying be facetious.
Just sew the mask on to your face and make it seamless.

Breath it in.

Smell the plastic and bone.
Relax enraptured in what half of us know.
We drink the rumors from a chalice,
sink in fallacies of balance,
humor actuates the patterns,
and its harder to battle the tumor after it's grown.
Then we're just grass on the road,
and we can laugh as we go,
and we can act as if inaction
ain't the ***** in the stone.
And we'll be baffled alone.
We'll be the practical applicants
of a graph of a lung,
hung in a school.
Drooling hospital drones.

Stool in a bag on his side.
Try to hide the agony in seeing lagging behind
tank of life on a chain.
Banking his breath on a check,
and when it bounces he dies.

It ends faster than you think it might.

Don't even start.

I know nothing of my neighbor’s freedom.
his limits; if any are placed upon him.
seems to come and go as he pleases,
seems content, at ease.
Still, I don’t know when he acts or why.
When does he take action indeed?
Is his mind free of oppression?

I wonder...
But, it is not my concern.
I have my own thoughts
and my own actions
to consider.
A cup of coffee
or death?

Make no mistake,
you reveal yourself at the bottom.
It's dark and cold,
your pale with black hair,
And **** yellow eyes.

You float,
in your prison.
Void of breath,
and golden rays.
Bringing life,
and color.  






You’ve hit bottom.







Below this,
you feel helpless.
As a trapped animal
waiting to die.

The weight I carry,
was all for you.
Now you left me,
at sea.
I’ve drowned,
months ago.






In 2018, I hit bottom.







Below this…
Glass like,
motivation shatters.
Further you fall,
into darkness.
Your voice,
no longer ripples.
Let it take you.









How much further?








With struggle,
I can’t sink like a stone.
There are souls,
who need me.
Your hand pulls,
me down, it's heavy.
I kick you,
I punch you,
I struggle,
to let you go.
Your grip is,
loose and careless.
Like the past three years.

With a swift kick,
I am free.

I


Let


You


Go

She took her life in the morning
Her eyes closed, surrounded with tears
Tears not of loneliness nor fear
But relief for a new beginning

The world has made her numb
She gave more than what she had
She loved more than she can
This time she took only what she had

Her life was not her life
For years she lived for others
Lived somebody else’s dreams and not hers
And after all these things she was still fine

What broke her is not you
What broke her is not him
What broke her is not them
What broke her is herself

She realized there was nothing left of her
Nothing left of her to give to others
To the people who could never love her
At least not as much as she loved them

When it dawned to her there was nothing left
She took her chair and tied her belt
Looked out the window and saw the rising sun
And with that, she was gone

Everything has an ending.
You favorite song gets annoying,
Your friendships fall apart,
Your passion evaporates,
Your book has it's last dot,
Your life ends.

But every ending is a beginning.
You find another song,
You connect with other friends,
You discover new feelings,
You read another book,
The memory of your being stays alive.

Every cicle has an ending,
So it can start fresh again.