Meg B 21h

I am paralyzed by fear.
I am paralyzed by doubt.
I am paralyzed by the questions I don't want but need to ask.
I am paralyzed by the answers I don't want but need to know.
I am paralyzed staring at my pillows as my body hangs sideways off of the bed.
I am paralyzed by the feelings I almost wish I had never felt.
I am paralyzed by my past.
I am paralyzed by past lies and how they're seeping into my present psyche.
I am paralyzed by the love that I've felt.
I am paralyzed by the potential love I'm now unsure I want to feel.
I am paralyzed by the future, by what it holds.
I am paralyzed by you.

I could have lied,
I could have said I was wrong,
I could have said I made a mistake,
Then you would still be mine.

Instead

I told the truth
I said you were wrong
I said we were a mistake
And now you have moved on.

I regret my honesty

Love or truth
Seema 3d

Holding my breath
To feel being dead
My pulse kept going
Aches in my head

So anxious to feel
Yet, too scared to die
I must be going insane
Why would I lie?

When I close my eyes
Many reels play in frames
I wouldn't utter a word
I am drowning with shame

Feelings and emotions
Mixed and confused
I wish for a bitter potion
But everytime get refused

I feel empty and high
Like my brain was erased
I often wonder, why
I'm not yet deceased?

┬ęsim

Won't I tell you that I think of you still,
that your thought became a part of me before it was a memory
and I still, very much, live in that hollow space that is not a void
but isn't anything else either.

If you never lied than where was I mislead?

5/22
Mims 5d

Broken but beautiful,
they say
Unloved but lovely
they claim
Hopeless but romantic,
And sometimes semi frantic,
Over dramatic.
Is sweet,
they say

They're wrong

friendship is a two way street after all
not that you'd see its truth
too busy standing in my way with accusations and lies
to walk your own dirt ridden trail

fuck this, fuck you

I'm there, sitting on the floor.
I really don't know how I'm feeling.
"I'm already there fo you" it sure
It was all lies. I'm crying.

That's hurting in my chest.
I'm trying to stay calm, I can't.
I'm a ghost I guess,
Trying to stay : a combattant

I give him all a got
And he snobed me.
It was like a shot
into me.

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