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What are we doing
I don’t even know
Why can’t I
Just let these feelings go
We’ve stayed innocent
But for how long
Next time we’re alone
What if things move along
That’s not what we want
But I don’t know if that’s true
There’s ideas in my head
That want to be pursued
But I can’t give in
There’s too much to lose
So I'm hopelessly in lust
With nothing I can do
"You shall not commit adultery."

09/14/2017
Rae Sep 2
The shaft of moonlight stabs the
Soft skin between my *******.
I stare at the tips of my flesh
Imagine a babe suckling there.

You once told me you wished for children.
You once told me my hips and soft stomach foretold a healthy and long motherhood.
You once told me I already smelled of milk and sweet breath;
All I lacked was the baby powder.

You once told me.

You once told me the pink and purple of my *** was too mottled and unkempt.
You once told me the space between my eyes offset the masters degree I hung on my office's wall.

You once told me if I put as much time into my job as this family, I wouldn't be watching you shove your clothes into a worn and broken-toothed suitcase.

You used to lie there, between my *******,
The moisture of your breath evaporating off my skin and cooling my ******* to a point.
You'd laugh, press a kiss to each,
And tell me they must miss your tongue and teeth.

I scoot up the bed, sheets scratchy and sticking to my flushed skin.
The moonlight traces a path down my ribcage and navel,
A touchless touch that makes me ache for real fingers and real body heat.

I hear him, moving about the kitchen
Humming that Bob Seger song that tickled the back of my neck when I slid onto the back of his motorcycle,
Voices echoing in the half-empty parking lot.
I can see his hips swaying in the night sky
The slow ****** and long extended neck in the clouds.
I can smell his sweat and ***** on my body, the moist night breeze pushing him further into my lungs.

I press my face to the pillow
Inhale the detergent where you used to sweat pheromones, drool on, and bite when I kissed my way down between your thighs.

He starts to whistle, the *******.

He's tone deaf.

I press my lips flat, contain the laughter my body aches to set free.

You once told me that to be with a man was denying my true sexuality.
You once told me that if we were to marry, I'd never know a day without true joy.

I wonder what it felt like, love,
When he ****** you in our bed.
When he ate you on our sheets
Your *** on him his scent on you.

I wonder what it felt like, love,
To watch me fall apart.
To watch me scream and tear and bash my heart against the wall, the scent of your betrayal still hanging in the air between us.

I wonder what it felt like, love,
To deny your true sexuality.

I promised to love you forever.
I promised to care for you, in sickness and in health.
I promised to give you my all, and protect your heart with my life.
I promised.


He reaches the chorus one last time, and I feel my head begin to bounce
My toes tapping against the cool yellow paint of the wall.
The scent of bacon drifts beneath my door, overpowering his ***** and my sweat
And I roll out of bed, stomach grumbling.

I promised to love you forever, love.

When I **** him, I don't think of you.
When I **** him, he calls my name, not God's.
And when I **** him
I love it
And I don't miss your ***** for one ******* second.

Even his ******* bacon taste better than yours, you ****.

And when I tell him I love him, my lips against his naked shoulder,
My heart in my shaking hands,
He doesn't say that he's been ******* the mailman for the past three weeks.
And our married neighbor Kim.

He says "I love you, too."

And I believe him.
Jules AA Sep 1
Instead of telling me that he was okay,
she told me she was his lover.
She wanted me to hate her
she wanted him to die.

Traumatic aortic ruptures are not so common, luckily so. What a way to go. Drowning in your own blood and fluid. No prayers have saved anyone. Luck. What is god? What is a God. Where was he?
Why do his Sister think He wants him dead.
That is no god of love.
But is there a god of love at all.
Or only of misfortunes?
Prayers at the foot of the bed last
h
  o
    u
      r
         s ...
Because I don't know what else I should do.
What else could I do.
A machine breathes in slowly in the corner.

i know there's no god because when he was dying all he saw was demons. how can a good man go to hell? how can a god send good people to hell,
                          but never
heaven.

Was it heaven.
Inspired by Jorie Grahams writings on her father's death.
Aa Harvey Aug 1
Handbags at dawn


A man in the middle of Handbags at dawn.
Two lovers for one heart.  This is war.
A mighty showdown; a choice is needed.
One man, one love; never being greedy.


People don’t worship love anymore.
It’s just a thing they do.  Forget about being faithful.
It’s so much easier to do what you want.
Consequences don’t happen, just have fun.


Standing face to face, eye to eye.
Fighting for love.  Crocodiles don’t cry.
Learn the pattern, then anything can happen.
Love means nothing, truth only saddens.


Another body is all that matters baby.
Sleep with two until one is unhappy.
There are no rules; promises are made to be broken.
Sleep with convenience.  Lies are easily spoken.


Have an argument to get rid of one.
Then find the other one when they are gone.
When you have used them, say goodbye,
Then find the other one and apologize.


Demand privacy when it comes to your phone,
So you can hide when the other one calls.
Tell them you want a night out alone,
To stop the fights…hand bags at dawn.


(C)2019 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Jul 22
Naturally Evil


I have given up on love, I’m done.
I have seen enough.
I watch people claiming to be in love,
Living ordinary lies.
I see people pass each other and genuinely fake a smile,
As they tear apart each other’s lives.


I’ve seen the mighty heart fall to the weak,
In the hands of the cruelest defeat.
The hand of the person they are holding hands with,
Is the hand that will strangle them with a kiss.


I’ve seen mountain’s moved as living proof.
I’ve seen the worthlessness of this cause.
I have been a man with truth absolute.
Love is a nice idea, for you and yours.


The reality is, it is yet to exist.
I have seen ‘true’ love disappear.
The oceans of tears that have been cried,
Couldn’t stop the break-up of the year.


I have sunken beneath the waves,
And seconds later been replaced.
A rendezvous was so easily arranged…
I saw it on your face.


Left hand waving goodbye, right hand dialing.
Left hand blowing a kiss, right hand lying.
Beckoning and greeting as you are leaving.
I have seen them come and go, believe me.


The buttons on the dress,
The fall of Adonis.
The Fairy Princess,
And now gone is,
All the pointless love!


Earthquakes roar, there is nothing more.
No rise, no fall, just dust.


(C)2019 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Jul 5
Bee beautiful


We could have flown together forever,
But now I cannot stay.
If only you could have kept the faith,
We could have found a way.


If only you didn’t kiss him…instead of me.
You could have been the Bumble, to this Humble B.
We had our moment and now it has passed.
We have lost all we had,
But we sure did have some laughs.


I will always love you and I hope you still love me,
But my heart only has a place for my true love
And we were not meant to bee.
You made my heart complete.
I only wish you felt the same way…honey.


Bee beautiful.


I will never forget the times we have been through.
You have always been there for me in the hive when times were tough,
But all things they have to go forward and I am going on without you.
We are not what I want to bee…
I am no longer in love.


I will never forget you and the love you gave to me,
But our love was never destined to bee.
I thought I had found a part of myself with you,
But some hearts are only meant to break in two.


I am sure I will heal and we will smile together another day,
But this time is not the right time for us to say,
We should meet again.  Maybe there is a way,
But I cannot stay and be reminded of your face
And the way we always flew…
Some dreams of love they do not last.
Bee beautiful…
Bee the bee that I knew.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Rae Sep 2
I stole something today, something
small, clustered buzzing neon lights
bright and explosive pleasure cries,
the kind that sell for an hour
but remain bitter and chalky
when swallowed dry. I paid for it with

earl gray and soft sighs, melting
sunrises the colors of quiet,
maroon and hazel and sweet corners of dusk.
She cracked herself open, like an egg or a popsicklestick bird cage,
ended her reign of my kingdom and handed me
the dripping, palpitating mass of dreams
that once existed behind her shuttered curtains.

I pulled it to my sternum, steaming
red and grained muscle hot in my
shaking hand. She smiled, those
earl grays that soothed stabbed those
pillows that pressed smothered and those
apples that blossomed rotted beneath soured flesh. My head bowed,

my chin pressed to my chest so that I might’ve
gnawed through my backbone. I
opened my mouth and bit
into her heart, and chewed in time to the
echoing of her clicking heels.
Rae Jun 29
Punched and lulled and soft
Swung, fat marcato
Something whispered, stolen
Each voice is a scent
Each color is a word
And the taste of ash permeates each touch

I smooth a hand over the ending
A coating of dust turns my skin gray
Fuzzy and soft, like downy or feathers
Or the soft lighting of a rainy day

I fluctuate, expand, reexamine and redesign
The scent was cold, now hot
And the only thing I remember
Is the orange essence that clung
To your fat, red tie.
Jon Thenes Jun 18
Mother
new Mother
lies birth sore
and always close to a bathroom

Little Lamb
screams it’s new song raw
reading loss through its tender sacking

Faithless Lover is already next door
receiving well wishes
and plundering attention
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