My life was empty and uneventful.
Then you walk right into my life.
The world turned to color.
And I rose out of my rut.
My life turned happy.
Though I could not believe it.
My heart grew to love.
And to why I'll never know.
You came to me when my heart ached.
Patched it up and made it new.
You loved my from the way it looked.
But how do I know you truly do.
My heart starts to ache watching these things.
Things that appear to prove you don't.
My breathing fastens as my heart beats.
How do I ask you about this?
I wonder painfully about the thoughts.
That keep poking into my heart.
I ask myself the question that I fear.
Is he really doing this or not?
Half a life
Half a love
I am utterly devoted
To lesser moments.
Between the sheets
The mind drifts
In search of atonement;
An inevitable outcome.
It is living half a life
Accepting half love
Take me out of the dark
The courage within to say goodbye.
Hawthorn hedgerows separated their fields.
Alice often found Towser lapping
From Jim's cupped hand,
At his hill well.
Her brothers fished Jim's salmon-rich creek.
To get her animal she walked through the bushes,
Drank his water.
They decided to wed.
He poured a new kitchen floor;
Chickens and sows,
Sons and daughters arrived,
Through famine and taxes
They prospered, survived.
Over the evening pint,
The lads grumbled about the Travellers
Camped off the road to Jim's.
They're gypsies, spilled Jim,
No different than him, pointing to Frank, beneath a tin:
Guinness is good for you.
I passed them at tea, they were eating my fish.
I nodded Okay, and they sang, "Make a wish!"
How comes it to pass,
Is anyone's guess.
Jim left walking for home,
A dark journey, alone.
The night sky was clear,
Jim loved the fresh air.
In his line he saw
The gypsy's red fire.
He was offered a drink,
Being a purveyor of craic,
The stars glided eastward,
Alice watched them that night,
Waiting for Jim to come back.
He rose with a scratch,
And a Guiness-stained yawn,
And the smell of a smokey,
For seventeen years no words were spoken,
Alice was redolent,
The holy of holies lay open,
The body's been stolen.
In the stillness of night,
Alone in her bed,
Jim lay beside her;
Her man was dead.
One fish, one wish,
And all was unsaid,
An unspeakable silence
Envelope the dead.
A wish is a fish,
Alive in deep water;
If you hook it, release it,
It'll swim to another.
Jim died alone
In his house, not his home;
His wish transpired
By fish and his fire.
In a world amongst the untrue, the wrongful, the two-faced; pseudo reality is taunting at humankind insolently.
To have faith, to be hopeful, to believe; only for them to trash and scatter what you've been believing in.
The betrayed, the deceived, the deceitful; carelessly and mercilessly succumbed upon their sins. Arrogantly looming upon all, unknowing and forgetful of those who sang prayers at dawn for them.
The smiles, the tears, the two-faced; o' the mighty entities everyone praised, not even Judas would have the nerve. It's a shame humankind is a fool; easily played and toyed with.
The denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression, the acceptance; five stages of grief that I learned, only to know that I could never master.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. The body is hollow, for the soul is in sorrow.
Forgive me it's been too long since I've seen the face of another man.
Kissed new lips or held foreign hands.
I can feel your heart racing, I think mines stopped completely.
Fight or flight tells me to run, or fall for you so deeply.
You hold my face, stare hard into my panicked eyes and tell me to relax.
Not two hours ago I was leaving my home, bags packed.
My mind races with thoughts out of my control.
I'm overwhelmed, drowning as my kiddie pool of emotion reaches an overflow.
Throat tightens, breathing quickens, I open my mouth wide to cry out.
He holds me close, stroking my hair, he tells me he'll show me what "real love is about".
Do I leave and tell him goodnight?
Do I surrender myself to him and feel unknown delights?
can't shake the feeling that i'm not enough
and no-one else has anything better to say
on the subject;
she feels like being hypnotized and when i
look in her eyes i don't know if she's real
or not, i've been down this road before. is
she a pretty face i'm stealing glances of
or is she a figment? oh, what a shame.
god, she's like a glass of red wine sitting
against my lips, souring every kiss, and just
like wine i'm gonna disappoint my lover by
taking another sip.
i feel so full of wreckage and broken glass i
think tonight i'm in over my head.
we wake the next morning
barely able to look at each other
torn between guilt and shame
replaying every decision
that led to this
i feel i need to apologise
for allowing you to jeopardise your forever
for a fleeting just-for-now moment
a moment purely born from lust
that made us forget who we are
this has truly shaken my core
my mind torn between the beautiful act
that consumed me for a few hours
and it's destructive consequences
my heart cries for the woman i betrayed
as much as the hatred i felt towards
the woman that did this to me once
when did i become her, the "other woman"
i hope you find your way back home
and the reasons why you strayed
now i need to say goodbye to you
to someone i never knew
a stranger i'll always remember
try to forget a memory
that will linger
like the bitter taste
of our unspoken secret